Disability and Dating - do you disclose your impairment on dating sites? — Scope | Disability forum
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Disability and Dating - do you disclose your impairment on dating sites?

Sam_Alumni
Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,673 Disability Gamechanger
I listened with interest this morning to Radio 4's Woman's Hour as they were talking about dating and disability and a listener asks the question of whether he should talk about his impairment on his dating profile.  He thinks it will put people off.

You can listen again here from 2.39 onwards.

The question is asked 'is it false advertising?' 

What do you think? Would you disclose your impairment on a dating site? 
Scope
Senior online community officer

Comments

  • Markmywords
    Markmywords Member Posts: 419 Pioneering
    If you do then it's reasonable to believe it will get the same response as disability does in every other aspect of life.
    If you don't and someone actually wants to meet with you, how will they view the deliberate omission ?

    A person could try it both ways and see what happens.

    All advertising is false though. Dating profiles especially are idealised versions of people.
  • iza
    iza Member, Community Co-Production Group Posts: 590 Pioneering
    Hi, 
    To be honest I never used dating site in my life before at all. I been in very long relationship (over 15 years)  which ended in November 2015. My female mate using them constantly and inspired by her I registered myself over the summertime last year.  I created profile with my interest but after 3 months I deleted all. I come to the conclusion that I hardly believe you can meet the right match over the dating sites. Not to mention that I could not find intellectual men there either. I also realised that I like my freedom and not planing waste  my personal time looking at millions of photos. 

    In old days people were chatting lots before they exchange the photos so they have opportunities to talk about life and learn about themselves. 
    My best friends got married to men they met over dating site but it was over 10 years ago. They chat to each other and then see each other after time in real life. 
    Similar interest connect people. 

    But indeed I think if there is any impairment is good to mention it straight away to save yourself and somebody unexpected surprise or emotions. 


  • foxuk
    foxuk Member Posts: 102 Pioneering
    I met my wife on the internet. On a writer's group. A DISABLED writer's group. We've been married for 16 years now and would never have met but for the internet. She was in Oregon and I in Cardiff.
    Would you declare a cultural origin? A religious origin? etc. etc.
    As we are both 'stroppy crips' we understand each other's experiences and attitudes.
    'Marrying out', both of our first spouses were non-disabled, was very different and had more barriers to communication.
    If someone can pass as non-disabled it could be a break point when the disability is divulged.
    But, be serious, if being disabled is going to make a difference, do you really want to associate with that type of Bigot anyway?
    Or could it be that those who don't want to disclose their disability are not wanting to be 'paired' with another disabled person due to their own prejudices?
    We are equal and can be just as prejudiced as non-disabled people. 
  • 1BentSpine
    1BentSpine Member Posts: 12 Connected
    I have been on a couple dating sites for a brief period of time.  I have mnetioned in my profile that i have differences but not said what they were.  Once i explained my learning disability to someone, it scared him off.  I think the fact that i am phiscally disabled automatically excludes me from being considered, because i found most men i was interested in were very active and expected their date to be too.
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,673 Disability Gamechanger
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,673 Disability Gamechanger
    Scope
    Senior online community officer

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