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Saw myself on video and surprised to see what my symptoms look like
I have had spastic diplegia my whole life due to complications at birth. This led to arthritis in my twenties and knee replacements when I was 43. I also had tendon transfer surgery when I was 35. Since my knee replacements I have felt like my SD has been getting worse. I have always walked unaided but I now struggle with walking any distance at all due to pain and fatigue. I trip frequently because the bottom of my feet don't always clear the ground when stepping forward. I feel like my legs are tighter than they've ever been and I have trouble stretching properly on my own. Last night I was being videotaped while rehearsing for a concert with friends. While watching the playback I saw myself moving around for the first time in probably a few years and I was devastated to see how bad my symptoms have gotten and how awkwardly I move and stand. I am recently divorced and I fear that this is an issue when I meet new people who are turned off by problems although no one would ever admit that. I am worried for my future. I don't want to be alone and I don't want to live my remaining years in a wheelchair. I don't know anyone my age with these issues and most of the online advice I find is geared towards children. Loofing for advice.