Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)
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feeling suicidal and bullied by dwp esa

Helo. I'm sorry if i dont spell to well. I have beem asked to attend an assessment for esa after a change of circumstances. Pip came to my home and I was given high disability and low mobility. I asked for home visit with esa and doctor emailed th em yo to tell them I'm not well enough mentally yet to go. They refused. That offered to send a taxi to take me and bring me home. I havnt been on transport for 30 years due to panic dissorder . I told them I had no one to go with me and I couldn't do it alone.. I got another letter asking for explaining why I didn't go even thow they had doctors email. I phoned and spoke with them in the phone and I told them I had been feeling unstable as I have already attempted suicide and hospitalized 3 times.. They don't care. Nobody cares. I had another letter today refusing home visit again even after 2nd doctor email.. I suffer with severe deppreshion  general anxiety since 13 from abusive  childhood fibromyalgia arthritis and am waiting for surgery on my knee . If they take away my income I will lose my home again.. I don't sleep for 4 weeks because of this even with all medications I have to take... can any body help.. I don't have any fight left.. it's like abuse all over again n... 


  • Sam_AlumniSam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,729 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @hopelessness14 Welcome to the community, I am sorry to hear you are having such a tough time.  I am glad you have spoken to your doctor and asked for them to get involved, I know it can feel overwhelming but people do care, your doctor cares enough to keep emailing them and we care here on the community too.

    Are you getting support after your suicide attempts? There is some great help on the MIND website that you might like to take a look at.
    You might be feeling so upset, angry and in pain that you believe that these feelings will never end. But it's important to remember that they cannot and will not last. Like all feelings, these will pass.
    There are steps you can take right now to stop yourself from acting on your suicidal thoughts. Everyone is different, so it's about finding what works best for you. Here are some practical tips that other people have found helpful when they've felt suicidal:
    Senior online community officer
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  • steve51steve51 Member Posts: 7,175 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @hopelessness14

    Welcome to our online community/website.

    I'm very sorry for your current problems.

    Here's some info for you about esa / benefits.


    If you need further help please use our helpline.

    They will be able too support you with this.
  • hopelessness14hopelessness14 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    I thank you for all your replies.. Things arnt going yo to better as long as I'm being forced to go to this appointment.. I've already had to increase lorazepam which i was managing to slowly reduced. They are making me ill thease people... Pip came to my home no problems.. esa are hurting people and there's no one to complain too... 
  • hopelessness14hopelessness14 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    I don't have a single person in my life. No family or friend's.. Dissown for speaking out... I suffer from chronic adrenal fatigue and everything struggle. Even yo shower. I'm just left to it. 
  • Sam_AlumniSam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,729 Disability Gamechanger
    I am sorry it is so tough for you right now, and I just wanted to say that you are doing really well, I know it can be hard to reach out and ask for support and the fact you are making the calls, speaking to your GP and coming on this community is brilliant.  Is it possible for you to speak to your doctor again? I know you say he has emailed twice but perhaps he could speak to someone there? 
    Senior online community officer
  • Sam_AlumniSam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,729 Disability Gamechanger
    Also here is the links to how to make a complaint.

    If you would benefit from speaking to someone in person, you can get in touch with our helpline on 0808 800 3333
    Senior online community officer
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,257 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi and welcome to our community

    So sorry that you are being put through this

    It might be a good idea to get in touch with your local MP and ask for their help. you can find your MP


    Please come back with any questions and we will do all we can to help


    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • hopelessness14hopelessness14 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Yes.. I will.. I'm trying to rest at the moment.. I exhausted mentally with everything.. I don't want to keep going over how I feel and why.. 
  • Reria74Reria74 Member Posts: 21 Listener
    Sorry this is happening to you :( It's a shame you don't have a support worker or someone like that to go with you.

    I've also been asked to go for a WCA and my Dr has hopefully requested a home assessment, someone from these forums also suggested I speak to the local MP to see if they can help, so I've sent him an email and explained.

    I have severe anxiety (agoraphobia/social anxiety) depression and FM. It seems like they don't even read your medical evidence or anything else when they send you the appointment... Luckily, my Son is my carer so I have him for support.

    I really hope you get some help with this, can your Dr refer you to anywhere for help?
  • hopelessness14hopelessness14 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Iv had crisis team,  social services and mental health services.. They all disappear in the end... Also to make it worse somebody told me yesterday that if i do go alone they eill put me as fit enough to go to work. Great. 
  • Reria74Reria74 Member Posts: 21 Listener
    @hopelessness14 I don't know how true it is but I've also read the same thing :( 

    I know what you mean, I don't take any medications for my pain or mental health anymore, pretty much dumped with my Son caring for me after trying everything the Dr suggested.

    Have you tried contacting any mental health charities or the Samaritans? 
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    edited November 2017
    Hello @hopelessness14
     I am sorry you are going through this.  I do care as a lot of this community.  I know it is hard and tough and upsetting.  I am afraid for your wellbeing and I know how hard it is to get through each day.  Please can I suggest speak to your doctor.  The surgery should be providing you with support of some kind.  This is an issue that all of us are facing these assessments and questioning.  Being part of the interview process is never easy as all of us have been through this.  My worry is that if you do not go through with this you will make you self worse.  I am on my own have no family or friends to speak to .  Find it hard to connect to others.  I am trying to reassure you there are others like me and what do we all do.  I had to first contact my doctor as I was getting rebuffs from all and sundry.  It is horrible when the services that are supposed to set up to help and support sit tight and do not budge.  I had to get help or I was going to make myself very ill.  Can I please also suggest have a look at advocacy services.  These are charities  that are a voice that speak for you what you want to say.  I know they will be one in your area.  They deal with anything like doctors and NHS plus any thing like this.  I have used them.   I know they would help.  Also please can I suggest have a look on line for mental health charities and support.  Hope you take care and best wishes.  This is from someone who understands.  Remember we are all here to support you.
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  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,257 Disability Gamechanger
    I hope you have managed to get some rest and are feeling a little better

    Unfortunately there is a lot of bad advice, both on forums and in general circulation about assessments and the whole process. At the moment the benefits system is far from ideal.

    Attending an assessment is not ideal but unless you are agrophobic ie. you cannot leave your home, then attending, even if you suffer for it, does not mean that you are fit for work.

    The point of a f2f is to see how you cope with things and managing to go to an assessment does not in any way show that you could cope with working.

    Have you contacted your MP yet ?


    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • hopelessness14hopelessness14 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    I sent a brief e-mail yesterday. I'm just exhausted to even write to much.. I haven't slept for a few days.. everything is like hitting a mental brick wall.. I don't not what I'm going t do. I have no date yet gor appointment so it's dragging out 
  • hopelessness14hopelessness14 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    All I got was a Letter ssaying sorry your home visit is denied but we have no appointment for you at this time...there doing it on purpose I'm sure 
  • hopelessness14hopelessness14 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Well. I had leeter today have to go appointment on 27th September.. There's no solution .
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