Parents, carers and disabled parents
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A long overdue apology, and a reason to take everything you hear with a pinch of salt

Dexterp91Dexterp91 Member Posts: 13 Connected
Back in school, I was probably 15 or 16? I get called away from class by the physio department because they need help with something. I was essentially the outlier of my school. The one with CP who could walk talk, and question.

So, I get to the department, and I walk in to find a couple who had just been told their baby had CP. I was then asked some very scripted questions which made it sound like I live a normal happy life. That I'd go out on my own or with friends, that I was enjoying everything life had to offer. I basically lied to this couple, I told them everything they wanted to hear. I spent most of my childhood in intensive therapies after surgery, I didn't mention that though.. I didn't mention how depressed and how lonely I was. So yeah, do you value false hope? I dunno? I didn't willingly put myself into the position I was forced in, nor was I willingly lying. But, it's something I have felt guilty about ever since.


  • MarkmywordsMarkmywords Member Posts: 421 Pioneering
    You are too hard on yourself. You were manipulated by someone in authority.

    It's not fair to expect a 15/16 year old to have a fully developed moral code and also the strength to stand by it.
  • Sam_AlumniSam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,731 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Dexterp91
    I agree with @Markmywords I think you are being too hard on yourself.  That was a lot of pressure to put on a young person.

    But you know what? Maybe they needed to hear a bit of optimism at that time? Perhaps you gave them hope and a different perspective? 
    Senior online community officer
  • NystagmiteNystagmite Member Posts: 609 Pioneering
    You were 15.

    On the flip side, I'm sure no-one would want to hear from another person with the same condition, (talking in general) that their child's life will probably be awful and they won't be able to do a lot. I certain wouldn't.

    This comes up quite often on a few Facebook groups. The problem is, as with most things, you've got people who do live a virtually normal life and then you've got those who have multiple health issues who'd struggle with many things.

    I'm not sure at 15 whether I could have really said anything. It does put you in an awkward position.
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