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Assessment day today !!!!!!!!

spire2003spire2003 Member Posts: 25 Connected
I'm dreading today as its my wife's pip assessment. Its at 3.30 in Sheffield. 45 minutes drive, and snow could arrive in the area this afternoon. Great. I can't talk to her about the assessment as she gets really angry about having to go to it. I photocopied the pip2 form but she hasn't even picked it up once since we sent the original in. I don't know if I can bring myself to go in the assessment room with her as I think she will say things in there to get at me. I am best off keeping out of the room. As my wife had her stroke 8 years ago her daily life, as it is now, is the norm. She treats me as her enemy. 


  • gerrys6gerrys6 Member Posts: 110 Courageous
    Oh dear is it in the documents that she’s very angry about the stroke maybe she’s angry at losing her dependence and we do take things out on our nearest and dearest. Have doctors said that she’s struggling emotionally with it all icanubderstand her anger at having to go maybe you should have asked for a home visit? You can cancel once if you haven’t cancelled maybe consider it and if you feel it would be better ask for a home visit?. Good luck either way.
  • spire2003spire2003 Member Posts: 25 Connected
    gerrys6 no it doesn’t say on the form about her anger & she doesn’t go to the Drs much. As she had her stroke 8 years ago life today is her norm. It’s a pity that there isn’t a form for carer / partner to fill in. My wife sees things her way & other people see the real situation.
  • wildlifewildlife Member Posts: 1,314 Pioneering
    @spire2003 Let me reassure you that your wife won't get the opportunity to say things about you apart from what you do for her. The assessment is based on a standard set of questions only adapted according to the person's disabilities. She will stand a much better chance of being awarded PIP if you go in with her and even prompt her to remember what she needs to tell the assessor. If she is taking anything you need to carry it otherwise she will be seen as able to do more than maybe she is. It sounds like she really needs support right now and her anger isn't personal it's a well known senario that when someone is suffering they take it out on their nearest and dearest. Try to look beyond her low mood and her through this. If she says anything about you the assessor won't be listening as they only hear what's needed for the report they do afterwards where it will be noted she was not alone and needed prompting etc. When you get the copy of her report you will be able to help her remember whether the assessor has written what actually took place and not changed anything as they so often do. It's up to you but do please consider going in with her.  
  • Sam_AlumniSam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,729 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @spire2003 Im sorry this is such a tough time for you.  Do you get any support as a carer? Carers UK offer expert support to people who are caring for another person and I wonder if it would help you to talk to someone?

    As for today, I checked the weather and there is a 40% chance of snow in Sheffield between 3pm and 4pm, I live in Sheffield and it was very icy this morning though it seems to be warming up a little.  Do take extra time and be careful on your journey.

    Only you can decide if you should go in with her, will you be more distressed and worried not knowing what is being said? If you go in with her would it help for you to be able to offer your perspective? 

    Best wishes to you today, we do have a video about preparing for your assessment, I hope it helps.

    Senior online community officer
  • spire2003spire2003 Member Posts: 25 Connected
    Thanks for the advice. I have managed to type out a typical day & she has agreed it is accurate so we will take it with us. I will go in with her if she wants me to. I have 2 copies of the daily diary. We have the same routine virtually everyday. Should we give the assessor a copy for him to use ?
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