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What can be done to help my son?

Hi
My 14 year old son Oliver was born with a condition called Syndactali. So he has a small hand & the fingers were webbed.
He was operated on age 1 to separate the webbing which gave him more flexibility but his fingers have remained small in proportion to the rest of his body & he is unable to bend the index finger.
The middle finger is like rubber & is very bendy. As he has got older he has become a lot more self conscious of his hand & hides it all the time.
He was also diagnosed with ME almost 3 years ago & has had very little schooling in all that time.
Currently There is no cure for ME.
There is hardly any money being put into research for a cure so no medicine is available.
I am concerned about my son’s mental & physical health, but am writing to you today to see if you may be able to offer any suggestions as to what can be done to help Oliver.
Today he told me he hates his hand & wants to do something about it to change it.
I don’t know if this is possible but thought you may be able to advise me.
Many thanks
Liz De Alwis
My 14 year old son Oliver was born with a condition called Syndactali. So he has a small hand & the fingers were webbed.
He was operated on age 1 to separate the webbing which gave him more flexibility but his fingers have remained small in proportion to the rest of his body & he is unable to bend the index finger.
The middle finger is like rubber & is very bendy. As he has got older he has become a lot more self conscious of his hand & hides it all the time.
He was also diagnosed with ME almost 3 years ago & has had very little schooling in all that time.
Currently There is no cure for ME.
There is hardly any money being put into research for a cure so no medicine is available.
I am concerned about my son’s mental & physical health, but am writing to you today to see if you may be able to offer any suggestions as to what can be done to help Oliver.
Today he told me he hates his hand & wants to do something about it to change it.
I don’t know if this is possible but thought you may be able to advise me.
Many thanks
Liz De Alwis
Replies
Please give the help line a call and they may be able to point you in some direction
CR
@Jean_Scope may also have some information and support for you.
Senior online community officer
Hi @edealwis
Oliver is at a life stage when many young people can find it very difficult to be ‘different’ from their peers.
I wonder if it would be worth talking to Oliver’s GP and asking for a referral to have his hand assessed by a specialist Hand Team such as: http://www.gosh.nhs.uk/medical-information/clinical-specialties/hand-and-upper-limb-surgery-information-parents-and-visitors/meet-hand-and-upper-limb-team
The team might be able to suggest a medical intervention that might help, and if they can’t Oliver would at least know definitively that there is nothing further that can be done to alter the appearance/function of his hand.
If sounds as if Oliver has had a lot of challenges to deal with so I also wonder if some sort of counselling or psychological therapy might help his emotional wellbeing and perhaps assist him in improving how he feels about his hand. Again, this is something that you could talk to Oliver’s GP about. Also the charity YoungMinds has a helpline concerned about the emotional wellbeing of a young person and lists of resources where young people can get support: https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/your-guide-to-support/need-to-talk/#advice-and-support-for-all-kinds-of-problems
Great Ormond Street Hospital suggest that a support group called REACH is a good organisation to signpost people affected by Syndactyly to: http://reach.org.uk/
Best Wishes
Jean
https://community.scope.org.uk/categories/ask-an-occupational-therapist
Jean Merrilees BSc MRCOT
You can read more of my posts at: https://community.scope.org.uk/categories/ask-an-occupational-therapist
We saw the GP today & she is referring Oliver to see an orthopaedic surgeon.