Hi, my name is saramichelle!

saramichelle

My partner Dean has a terminal heart n lung disease and I am his full time carer,I have a couple of problems at the moment and don't know who to turn to and because I spend all my time with him (which I love doing and wouldn't want it any other way) but it means I don't have any friends at all to talk to n could do with making friends with people who understand mine and his situated.I've never thought there would be groups like this on here n it's fantastic to see that there is.I claim benefits for us but we have still being made to fill in n claim separate esa forms but I get carers allowance n he gets pip.They have stopped my esa though as I didn't receive a letter for a fit for work assessment so obviously not being a clairvoyant or a mind reader I didn't know about the appointment.Who would not attend an appointment knowing you would lose esa n leave a very ill man without food money? I would never do this to us.It says that a couple should not both have to claim esa,it breaks the DWY rules and I have been told by workers at the dwp themselves something wasn't right.Please does anyone on here know anything about this? I also made the decision to come off methadone after 30 years so could do without all this.I feel selfish though as I know there are people on here with a hell of a lot more problems I'm just worried I'm failing my partner when he is too ill to cope with worrying about where his next meal comes from

Pippa_Alumni

Hi @saramichelle, and welcome to the community! It's great to have you here. 

I'm so sorry to hear about your current situation. I imagine that being a carer can feel a very isolating experience, and I'm glad that you've found our community. You may find others in similar situations in our parents and carers group, who you might like to chat to. 

Have you checked that you're claiming everything you're entitled to? If not, it might be a good idea to check with the online benefits calculator. I've also moved your post into our Ask A Benefits Advisor so they can offer some more information about ESA. If you have any more questions in the meantime, just let us know!

CockneyRebel

Hi saramichelle and welcome

Have you asked for a mandatory reconsideration ?
Has there been a disruption in your local postal service ?

In respect of ESA, I am no expert but I can confirm that my wife and I make separate claims and have always done so.

CR

BenefitsTrainingCo

Hi saramichelle - I agree with all the suggestions above, including joining the parents and carers group, and also running your circumstances through the online benefits calculator to check that what you are receiving is correct. The situation with ESA and Carers Allowance needs sorting out. Is it possible that your partner is claiming income related ESA for you both as a couple and you are claiming carer's allowance in your own right? I think it's really important that you get a proper explanation of your full benefit calculation - how much you get, who claims what, and who is the claimant for what. You should be able to ask the DWP to send you a proper breakdown of how it has been worked out or tell you it over the phone. When you get this information, you could get back to us and give us the amounts and benefit names that are listed, or you could call the Scope helpline (0808 800 3333) and get the details of a local advice agency who may be able to help you understand what's going on. If you are a carer getting carer's allowance then getting ESA in your own right would be odd, and this needs checking!
Please get back to us if we can help you further. 

Jayne