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mentaly ill over the bible Hi, my name is maccy76!

maccy76maccy76 Member Posts: 4 Listener
When was kid I was beaten up a lot at school and sometime at home too! I hope you can read this has I am dyslexic. I am a middle child one 7. My mum married 3 times I have full brother from mums 2nd married I have older half brothers from my mums 1st marriage and also 3 younger half sister's from my mums last marriage. If draw a cross with me in middle and mum at one end also my mums partners and ex too I. Feel I was born onto spiritual cross. Any way in 1year at secondary school I signed my hole bible with the declaration of I would do the work of Jesus Christ. Amen runs through my name. I took signing the bible quite literally cos of all the pain both mentally and physically in my life. I am praired to die on the cross instead of Jesus or has one the prisoner who also when to the cross at the same time of Jesus Christ death. And ni number is jg xx xx xx a this stand for Jesus/god xx xx xx Anthony I live up to my meaning of the lattan meaning of my name and my star sign this no de~loo~tion to me I am going to worrie about till the day I die that gone against god but I just to die as feel I am miss fit in this world Sign amen


  • maccy76maccy76 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Can someone count sell me over this thank you
  • GeoarkGeoark Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,375 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @maccy76 and welcome to the community.

    I am not clear from your post where you believe you have gone against God.

    I notice you use a lot of imagery and symbolism in your post, and being dyslexic I suspect that this may be more significant for you rather than words.

    Personally I have always been bemused by the fixation with the cross for Christians.  It places the focus on Jesus death, and so I am not surprised that this is where your focus is, along with your background story. However the cross was the doorway through which Jesus had to step to start the next part of his journey. Had it been the end it is unlikely Christianity would exist today.

    The true power came with what happened in the three days he was dead, but also that he then came back. For me the empty cave has always been a more powerful image. Remember the cave entrance was cacooned and in the three days there was a transformation from one state to another. Many of his followers did not recognise him, though physically he was the same person.

    You cannot, of course, replace Jesus on the cross, and replacing one of those that was crucified alongside him would do nothing in serving God. I am not aware of anyone being asked to follow him by Jesus for the sole purpose of death and martyrdom. 

    You gave a commitment to God as a child, with the understanding of a child. It does seem that your understanding is still that of a child - this is not a criticism against you, it simply reflects that you have some maturing to do in your understanding.

    I am not a Christian, and so not the person to counsel you, but if you are not a regular member of a church I would suggest you consider joining one and join in the bible studies.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • maccy76maccy76 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Thank you for your posting this very much helps God bless
  • maccy76maccy76 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Nb I do feel in bad books with god
  • Sam_AlumniSam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,729 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @maccy76

    Welcome to the community - it sounds like you’re having some quite difficult feelings. 

    Would it help you to talk to your religious minister about this? 
    Senior online community officer
  • JennysDadJennysDad Member Posts: 2,308 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @maccy76

    Like @Geoark, I am not a Christian, but I was raised as a Christian and know quite a lot about the God you believe in. When my little girl was alive - a long time ago now - my mother had a very hard time. She could not understand how God would allow my daughter and our family to suffer so much.
    I hope you will understand that what I am about to say to you now is pretty much what I said to her at the time. The God you believe in is a God of Love and Forgiveness. If your God is real, He loves you. And there is nothing you can do, as an ordinary human being, that could turn that love and forgiveness away from you. You cannot put yourself in his 'bad books' :)
    It is very clear that you have had a very tough, often unhappy life. If that is true, then it has been because of the people around you, not because of God. If you want to, share what it is that worries you. If I can help, I will do so gladly.
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