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"So what you doing for work now?" - hate this question!

rosscolfc Community member Posts: 26 Courageous
OK so I know lots of you guys work (even if your not very productive.... sorry had to get Hammond's remark in) but for people like me who aren't working at the moment don't you just hate it when you bump into an old friend or work mate and they ask "the question of doom!" 

is it just me who gets all flustered by it, i still feel very ashamed about not working, even though I physically can't. What do you all do, say etc. 


  • Barrylad1957
    Barrylad1957 Community member Posts: 99 Courageous
    I know what you mean mate, what you mention here is something I struggled a great deal with, after I got laid off for health reasons last year. In my life, its the same two people every time who ask me if I've "heard any news about going back to work", and frequently tell me that they both "know loads of people" who "go to work every day" whilst suffering from the same afflictions I do; both of them are retired, and they both had what can best be described as an 'erratic' work history when they were of working age. I don't get frustrated by it, exactly, but I understand why some folks would. I do enjoy reminding them that I left school in 1973, and hardly ever had a day off until late 2016. People who live in glass houses, and all that. Don't let it bother you.
  • mossycow
    mossycow Scope Member Posts: 500 Pioneering
    Oh your not kidding. Lovely getting in touch with older friends... But dread this question. End up telling them what my husband or daughter is up to... Then silently weep in a corner.. 
  • Neil2017
    Neil2017 Community member Posts: 155 Courageous
    Hi @rosscolfc
    Yes it is a difficult question to answer even if it is not to old friends and it is to somebody new or in some sort of conversation. Employment or a job role really does define us so much. One way round it might be to say what you do now with your time, but that could depend on how disabled you are or whether you are just coming to terms with the disability or still very much under consultation with a hospital. Tricky one then.
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 740 Listener
    edited December 2017
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  • Neil2017
    Neil2017 Community member Posts: 155 Courageous
    @DannyMoore and @rosscolfc

    Yes, very true there is a lot of voluntary work done both for charities around tge UK and even abroad which is often not taken into account. Plus sometimes voluntary work done just on own initiative like picking up litter that somebody else has dropped.

    Also there is a lot of care and support work done around that is often taken for granted and not paid for in money only in returned love and affection. 

    So yep a lot of undisclosed ‘work’ around. 

  • Nystagmite
    Nystagmite Community member Posts: 596 Pioneering
    I hate being asked this question. At least when I was studying, I could use that as a reason not to have a job.
  • CockneyRebel
    CockneyRebel Community member Posts: 5,209 Disability Gamechanger
    I rarely meet people to ask this question as I spend a lot of time on forums like this. When not active here I try to learn more about the benefits systems, this ammounts to more than a full time job when I am able.

    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
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