COPD

Sammy1

My dad's just found out he has COPD. He won't talk to me I'm scared my dad will die

CockneyRebel

Hi Sammy and welcome

Your dad might be scared and still be coming to terms with his condition and needs to do so in his own way. He will know that you are there for him and will talk to you when he is ready.
In the mean time you can find out all you can about COPD.
I have had COPD for over 10 years and I am not about to die anytime soon.
It is a condition that can be helped and managed but lifestyle changes may need to be made.
Depending on where you live there might be a community respiritory health team
Does your dad smoke ?
Things like taking his meds and inhalers regularly will help.

CR

Sam_Alumni

Hi @Sammy1
Welcome to the community, I understand it can be so frightening when you find out that a parent is unwell.  

There is lots of information about COPD on the NHS website, it might help you to read through and get more of an understanding about the illness.  

You say he won't speak to you, perhaps he is scared too? As a parent myself with a chronic illness I know that I find it heard sometimes to talk to my children about my own impairments as I don't want to upset them.

Perhaps you could write him a letter about how you are feeling and ask him what you can do to help?

Sammy1

Thank you I was thinking a letter may be the best way forward cause the more I push him to talk the more he shuts me out. A letter is my only way I think xc

Sammy1

Unfortunately yes my dad smokes which he is finding hard to stop and the more we push him the more  he gets mad and smokes anyway

CockneyRebel

One thing that helped me to stop smoking was getting an e cig. It is not the perfect solution and your dad might not even want to try it

CR

Sammy1

I think if I'm honest he is scared to death of death plus he's a very proud man and he hates being told what to do so the more we tell him to stop the more he does the opposite  he says he's not bothered about dying the sooner the better he says so he doesn't have to deal with life and how **** things are. I don't believe he means it but others aren't so sure. I think he's depressed but he will never admit it

CockneyRebel

You haven't said how old your dad is or if he is working.
Perhaps you could tell him about this site, he might feel able to talk to us

CR

Sammy1

Sorry my minds all over the place, my dad is 65 and works full time. He's very shy when it comes to opening up about anything emotional he don't do feelings he would rather shut us all out. 

CockneyRebel

Hi Sammy

I can relate to that, I am nearly same age as your dad
If your dad is still working then it is probably still early stage and can be controlled if he takes care of himself.
It is important for him to know his limitations but he will realise when it is time to rest. There is little you can do for him, just be there for him when and if he needs you

CR

Sammy1

I understand I can't force him to speak to me or do  anything and I can't force him to open up to me but I feel useless I feel like I'm just standing around waiting for him to die

maid08

hi Sammy im 64 with COPD hard nut four sons i won't upset them with my health worries   but i do smoke to  stubborn who knows  but   long as dad has his meds and puffers he will be around a long time yet     please rest at ease he won't die nor will he want to some of us men are just stupid and think children do not need to be worrying about us ??just yet