Disabled people
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Online bullying

bevt2017bevt2017 Member Posts: 353 Pioneering
I never thought that i would be a victim of online bullying. Not only do I have to deal with ignorance and disrespect from the public, I've also been verbal attacked by them aswell. But I didn't think I would ever be verbally attacked by disababled people. Scope have been amazing, they have helped me so much, so has most of the community. And yes hand on heart I proberbly wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for them. I had a breakdown a couple of weeks ago, because of a few comments from disabled people. (I don't want to say why) My husband heard me crying hysterically in the early hours, and he came rushing downstairs. I was in such distress and just wanted to end my nightmare. He gave me sleeping pills and held me till I fell asleep. When i woke up the following morning, i was still heartbroken and couldnt stop crying. People should be very careful what they say, and how they say things. If my husband hadn't heard me, I might not be here today. So please before you judge, be mindful of how that person feels.
Thank you.


  • Sam_AlumniSam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,731 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @bevt2017
    Firstly thank you so much for sharing, your words about Scope and the community are so lovely and we feel honoured to have been able to support you.

    Secondly, your husband sounds wonderful and I am so glad you have such great support. 

    Are you getting any other help for these issues and feelings? 
    Senior online community officer
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Sending a message of support.  I am sorry what you have been through.

    I have been the target of mate crime plus hate crime.  So I understand the difficulties you have had.

    I feel that all of us have views, opinions in the community of on line bullying.  That there is no place for it in our community.

    I am glad that you talked about it and have your partner for support.

    I do know I offer what I can to the community.  In a way of advice if I can, help and words of comfort.

    Talk about my various experiences.

    What surprises me is the some times insensitive reactions or replies I get back.

    Not only does it effect me mentally but I am only trying to suggest ideas, initiatives to assist or benefit there well being.

    In the end I do get upset and annoyed also say to that person who ever they may be you have asked all for help, advice, support.  Now you have sent me this.  I am only sharing.  No need for that that is cruel and making a mockery of what I am saying to you.  It hurts very much.

    I hope you recover and I am here to listen, chat debate talk.  You will always get an answer.

    Please take care
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Member Posts: 353 Pioneering
    hi @Sam_Scope
    always nice to talk to you.
    well I'm still on 2 different anti - depressants, but I'm not getting any emotional support. my doctor tried counselling, all they wanted to do was lock me up.
    Then my doctor organised a hearing therapist, (Thanks to scope) and that didn't go very well.
    I never even got to see a therapist, they did more tests which made me ill. I told my doctor what happened, she was not happy at all, and showed me the letter she wrote to them. I have another appointment next week with the therapist, but i don't know what's going to happen?
    I went for an ultrasound not long ago about a lump (not cancer) and blood tests.
    When I next had my appointment with my doctor, I was joking around telling her what the ultrasound lady said to my husband.
    She asked him if I was going through the menopause? I said how rude how old does she think I look, (I'm only 44). which the doctor then replied well yes you are.
    So now I have to deal with the menopause on top of all my disability's 
    I do have some information on menopause the doctor gave me, I have an appointment with her next week, but I'm not sure what to do yet?
    Everything related to the menopause I already have, so that's probably why I'm not copping.

  • bevt2017bevt2017 Member Posts: 353 Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman
    Thank you!!
    You are one of the few people on scope, I can always rely on for help and support.
    It shouldn't happen but it does. 
    Thank you for your kind words, you have put a smile on my face.
  • Sam_AlumniSam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,731 Disability Gamechanger
    Oh @bevt2017
    You have so much to deal with!! It has been good to see the menopause being discussed more in the media recently as for so long it has been this silent taboo, yet it is something half the population go through!!

    Im really glad to hear that your doctor is being supportive though they could have been a bit more sensitive in telling you about the menopause!

    I am looking about for some recommended menopause bloggers and will let you know if I find any.

    Good to chat to you :)
    Senior online community officer
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Thank you for kind words and comments.  I think I have spoke to you before..  Always forgetting who and which lovely people I am meeting today.

    I sorry about you hearing tests.  I have hearing loss caused by mixture of genetics plus addiction.  Did not know that till few years ago that could cause problems.

    Anyway I am here to say it is not a easy time having these.  I had enough now just can barely hear it is them not me I shout. 

    Speak English nice crystal clear voice please thank you. 

    I can understand the stress not good my issue last time had a test where is the patience plus tolerance.  The people from planet politeness never exsisted.  Short and curt.  

    I went back to Doctors just forget it.  So I have really.  I do feel for you at the moment with every thing going on.

    Please try to stay calm I know not easy.  My concern if you get worked up or distressed that you can make yourself worse.  I know I myself got emotional. upset over the way I feel.  I am supposed to be a gentleman proud and all that but.  Us gentlemen can not cope and to have a stiff upper lip, yet we all anxious, sensitive inside. 

    What sort of things would make you try to relax is the most important time now.  I know it finding what helps you.  I do find Classic FM on now or some soothing music.

    Because you will have all this on your mind.  A lot going on and I do know if it going around in your head the thoughts, feelings, emotions.
    Please I hope you try to talk about what is effecting yourself.  I am sorry about counselling.  I am afraid some times these therapists some are good some are excellent some are really bad.  Why they get employed.

    It is finding what is right for you and the right balance.

    I hope and pray that you take care.  Always here to listen   
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Member Posts: 353 Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman
    I'm so sorry about your hearing loss, I hope your getting support too.
    listening to 80s music, is what I miss the most, always chilled me out after work and the kids.
    I cant do much either due to neurological problems, so I just feel trapped in my own body and in my home.
    I worry about everyone, and leave me till last.
    sometimes I scream really loud, just so that my family know I'm still here. its not their fault, I just feel invisable sometimes.
    I'm hopping that next week, I will start to get some support from the hearing therapist?
    I did have a hobby, I started to make baby bouquets, but they got so popular, everyone started asking me to make them. so I don't do them anymore.
    thank you for listening S.P
    always good to talk to you
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017   Good Morning sorry did not get back to you.  I hope you are trying to cope.  I know it is not easy at the moment.

    Putting others first is understandable, having a family, they needs, desires.  I  some times when I had friends with children they need a break, persuaded them how can I help.?

    So tried to do what I could just little things and child minding.  Being there.  I assume to say to you to put yourself first, try to.

    I have seen too many friends suffer the symptoms of stress.

    By the way talking of stress is to put some music on.  There are eighties radio stations on line and on TV.  Just an idea.

    I am sure a lot of our community can be of help, support.

    I know the hardships, pressures that come with any illness.  We all of us at any time feel trapped whether in our bodies or in a place called home.

    I can identify with that living with a disability plus one time my family.  All I wished for was to be treated  well, respected, loved with kindness.

    I wanted to leave home to be a place of my own took me a long time to get away.

    I assume, I know this you have a partner who loves you.  So you have a family who do.  This is about you.  So you have that.  That is one positive aspect of your life.

    Do they know that ?  I know I tried to talk about my family to councillors, therapists.  My illness and other issues.  It did help after a while though it became a struggle to maintain a normal life.  It is great to offload but how many times do I need therapy.  Only by having time to adjust.

    I hope and pray you seek help, advice what ever you need.  I know there are plenty of advice, help on SCOPE.

    Please try to have a look around your area for like wise networks, groups, charities.  I find you are never alone with a problem or issue.

    Take care
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • BillyMBillyM Member Posts: 6 Listener
     Hi everyone I'm new here so bare with me while I get to become familiar with the place but life ain't that bad every problem has got a solution and if you ask me theirs nothing a good old moan and a laugh over a cup of tea can't cure don't you think
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Member Posts: 353 Pioneering
    Hi @BillyM
    Welcome to the community.
    Your right! everyone needs someone they can have a good rant to. "Or like me a good cry to"
    Family are the people you want to protect. So I find talking to the community amazingly helpful and supportive.
    Bev  :)
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @BillyM Welcome pleased to meet you.  I use this forum to not only help me through the day but helps me through any problems issues I have.

     A problem shared is a problem halved.  I live on my own so having this illness and disability I have makes things just a little better.

    If you think I do not say a lot see my posts.  More like mini dramas and episodes of those TV Dramas Soaps is it called.  Sorry do not watch any but have seen on the web full of trouble and strive the story lines.

    So having this I get triggers in my head of past events could be anything set it off.  As a proud gentleman fine it easier to talk here and rant rave about what is bothering me today or this minute.

    I use my vast knowledge and experience, life little tales to ease the communities fears, soothing words of comfort.  For those who wish me to listen.

    In return met a lot of lovely, kind supportive people.  Thank you all.

    So if and when you wish to talk or chat there will be some one out in the community who will connect with you, go with flow.

    Glad to talk to hope to speak to you again.  Always ready to listen.  Take care.
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • JennysDadJennysDad Member Posts: 2,308 Pioneering
    Hi @bevt2017
    Just wanted to add my welcome to the others you have received. I can see you've met up with @thespiceman and some others, so you've been in good hands.
    It occurs to me to say that, of course, all bullies are cowards and frightened. If you can you might pity them for not having the courage that you clearly have.
    I'll sign off there, with warmest best wishes to you and your husband, and listening always,
  • BillyMBillyM Member Posts: 6 Listener
    Indeed thankyou
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