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Walking issues

DottyDoris

I became disabled suddenly almost 2 years ago via s spinal injury. I am fortunate that I can walk . However people seem to try to walk through me, hassle me to go faster and even push me out of the way. Is there any one else who has the same difficulties? It would be good to compare notes. Thank you.

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Comments

JennysDad

Just saying hello, @DottyDoris and welcome to the community.
I'm very sorry to hear of your experiences but, of course, not at all surprised. We live in thoughtless, selfish times, and it is really terribly sad.
I am hugely fortunate in not experiencing that situation, but I am aware it is going on all the time and I know that one day, becoming older and frailer, I will almost certainly come face to face with it. All I can do for you at present is listen, and I'm happy to do that if it's any help.
I trust that others will be along to respond more helpfully than I can, but please keep in touch.
Warmest best wishes to you,
Richard

DottyDoris

Hi Richard

I am sorry that I haven't replied sooner however I came down with some sort of Winter "leurgy" !

I was very heartened by your reply and it is nice to know that there are people who care.

I really didn't realise how much discrimination towards disability there was until i experienced it myself. I used to work in an Adult Learning Disability support role before my injury but still had no idea of what a huge struggle it must be every day for those people and now I feel almost ashamed even though I tried to do the best for these lovely people. I see now that I was barely scratching the surface of assistance.
I would like to try to educate people about disability and what it means even if you don't have to use a wheelchair (this seems to be the criteria to many to show that you are disabled).

I hope that you don't mind me asking but do you care for Jenny as in has she got a disability? She is so lucky to have such a caring and thoughtful Dad.

Sending you my best wishes and grateful thanks.

Dotty Doris

Government_needs_reform

@DottyDoris iam sorry your getting these issues we face everyday with the anti disability brigade? I've given up going out now unless I really need to I can't stand the constant barrage of disrespect from average joe in the street, I'm not the best with people anyhow and never have been since an incedent from a early age in my life and even worse now because I know I'm now vunurable.

I'm one of those the end up loosing my head with people if I get abuse in various ways like people pushing, calling names etc. I just feel its us and them now I don't like loosing my temper sometimes it just happens and I feel for people I know that are with me and it makes me feel imbarassed for my outburst.

I can't believe the society we now live in and the discrimination around us is a joke. You take care.

JennysDad

Hello @DottyDoris
and how lovely to hear from you! Truly.

I used to work in a High School with a group of beautiful young people who were on the autistic spectrum, and one of our major concerns was the bullying and intimidation to which many of them would be vulnerable when out of sight of our department and their parents.

I don't know if it is that things are getting worse or if we are just becoming more aware of the issues through news, social media and communities like Scope. I suspect it has always been pretty bad. Sadly, we humans are not all that we sometimes pretend to be.

This link, to 'Invisible impairments' might bring you to some relevant conversations, if you'd like to have a look https://community.scope.org.uk/categories/invisible-impairments

You're absolutely welcome to ask me anything about anything

The truth is that I was my daughter's primary/principal carer throughout the whole of her short life. She passed away some 27 years ago now, at the age of four-and-a-half. But she's the reason I'm here and, I hope, the reason I understand. After more than a quarter of a century, of course, I can speak of her with little difficulty. One gets accustomed to anything in time.

So I'm still here, and still listening

Try the link and see what you find and, please, get back to me anytime. It has been a real pleasure to meet you.

Almost forgot! Yes, educating people. I remember discovering when my daughter was alive that the words 'handicapped' or 'disabled' immediately meant one of two things to most people - someone in a wheelchair, or someone visibly different, such as certain degree of Down's Syndrome. And even then, a quarter of a century and more ago, people had started to believe that the births of disabled children could be prevented. Talking to an old chap in a cafe, I remember him saying after I'd described Jenny, that "I don't believe children like that should be allowed to be born". It was meant sympathetically

Ultimately people believe what it is comfortable to them to believe, and some find comfort in the strangest ideas. Getting people to see and recognize the truth has always been, and probably always will be, an uphill struggle. But a struggle worth making.

Warmest best wishes,
Richard

DottyDoris

Richard you have been so kind and helpful to me.
I similarly worked with a group of wonderful adults with learning differences as a Job Coach trying to get them into some kind of meaningful work. They were diverse as in on the autistic spectrum, mental health problems, downs syndrome, visually and hearing impaired and physical disabilities. When in this role and approaching potential employers their first reaction was one of fear of the unknown and the amount of people who said our insurance won't cover your people was huge and very frustrating as they are humans like all the other employees! Interestingly the few employers that agreed to take on a person after a short while completely changed their attitude when they realised that this person was a loyal and honest person who turned up on time every time, didn't clock watch, put 100% into their work were happy and focused. Unfortunately there is still a lot of work to do and at present I am unable to work.

I followed the link you sent me and browsed. Gosh there are so many people who live in the face of adversity.

I am so sorry that you lost your darling Daughter Jenny far too early in life however I feel that she has empowered you in your life and given you an inner strength. All children are born for a reason although it may not be clear why to others and even to us when they are so unwell.My cousin lost a daughter at a similar age with cancer and she is still part of our family just at distance. I think people are often embarrased and feel awkward about subjects foreign to them and say what they think will comfort you when it often does the opposite. Unless you have experienced an emotion or physical trauma yourself you haven't really got a clue how it feels or what it's all about.

I apologise for my ramblings however this seems to give me great comfort to talk to a person who has experienced adversity them selves even if it has been for a different reason than mine.

Thank you for being there for me as I am for you if you need to talk about anything.

Best wishes, yours truly, Dotty Doris.

dottydotty

DottyDoris Agree with you 100% regarding being rushed when walking , there is also the added pressure when you also have hearing loss . Cyclists riding up behind you , mobility scooters tooting the horn to get past you , but you cannot hear them .

JennysDad

Enjoyable ramblings, @DottyDoris

Gratefully received.
Yours
Richard

JennysDad

Hi @dottydotty! With you all the way, there. My hearing's just 'old', my reflexes likewise, but cyclists are anathema to me. The number of times I've been made to jump and start with shock!
Very best to you,
Richard

dottydotty

JennysDad Hi Richard I am glad I am not the only one . trouble is I usually end up apologising to them for delaying their journey. Maybe someone could design a jacket with wing mirrors .

Best wishes to you too .

elsabell

I have me and fibro my mobility is poor and if I struggle without an aid people ignore you and just push past or bump into you and god forbid you sit on the front seats of the bus ,that was when I was able to use public transport but if I use my walking stick or forced to go into my wheel chair its a totally different story most people can't do enough for you then . Its one of those things if people don't visibly see the disability its not there .

JennysDad

Hi @elsabell, and what you say is too true I think. It feels - though I may be wrong - as if we have somehow lost a kind of basic respect for one another. Unless they are physically or legally prevented (and sometimes in the latter case even then) drivers park wherever they choose, without any thought to the inconvenience they cause others, they drive at speed, use mobile phones, and otherwise take stupid risks which common courtesy and a basic common sense should tell them are foolish and dangerous. Queue jumping among pedestrians, pushing and barging, mockery on the slightest pretext... The list goes on. And among a people whose philosophy seems to have become "I'll do what I want regardless of what the consequences may be, and the Devil take the hindmost" people are quick to attribute their own qualities to others. They suspect they are being scammed by the disabled, the unemployed and anyone else oppressed because scamming is part of their own chosen way of life (or would be if they felt safe enough to do it).
Sad times.
Warmest best wishes to you
Richard

reap123

I’ve been disabled all my life. I find that. Big all people are like that. The best advice is to stay at the sides of the crowd. If you find yourself kind of clumsy because of your condition, you may get comments as well.

DottyDoris

Thank you for your helpful advice Reap. I hadn't thought of this solution so I will give it a try. Yours a grateful Dotty Doris.