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Coesive bully

1804 Member Posts: 29 Connected
Where do u get help. When u are bullied with silent abuse?


  • hartill77
    hartill77 Member Posts: 97 Courageous

    would you like to share some more information and ill see if I can give you some information on where to get help from.

  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @1804 and a warm welcome to the community. We're very glad to have you. I notice from other posts of yours that you have a number of conditions, possibly including fibromyalgia and lupus, that you are suffering, also, from 'silent abuse'? Have I got that right? 
    Please, please, please do not be afraid to talk to us, @1804 You are entirely among friends here. And you can take your time - there is no hurry, no pressure - only the more you can help us get to know you and your worries, the more easily we may be able to help you.
    We're here and listening because YOU matter,
    Warmest best wishes to you,
    Wanting to help you,

  • 1804
    1804 Member Posts: 29 Connected
    Thank you yes that's right. I have lupus S.L.E., Fibromyalgia, osteoporosis, Osteoarthritis, cervical  spondylitis,
    Arthritis,  Asthma, etc I grind my teeth have Flash backs of the bully narcissus and because of hidden abuse. They get on the side of the people who I have asked for help.
    Tried getting help. But I felt it has made things worse. Went for Mediation they only got the Mediators to bully me by putting pressure on them. Went through Social Services to get Mediation which was at Mind with a Mind representI've who help people with mental illness. She started bossing me around and was on my family side. She told me it was all my fault when I showed letters.

    The system has let me down. Can't afford Solicitors if they come round to house. Which they part own. But not moving out as they just bullys. Too sick to go into rented accommodation. It's a horrible situation to be in. 

  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    Hope you get help
  • steve51
    steve51 Member Posts: 7,154 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @1804


    Wow where do I start????

    Please please please can you let me know if there’s anything that I can help/support you with???

    “My Thoughts & Hopes Are With You”

    Please please let me offer you my “Help & Support”
  • 1804
    1804 Member Posts: 29 Connected
    I am scared. Just heard my father knocked on the door 3 weeks ago. He trying to upset me. With all his threats. As he angrey he can't Forse me to move. But he knows this but won't let this on. He used to miners in Africa. He thinks he better than anyone. And above the law. Got no one that can help me out of this mess. He threats to sell from under me. I am a sitting Tenant of part of this house. I own. Now mediation has finished. He come round again. He a big bully. Use to talking down to African people in Africa. Hate this situation. The system has failed me got no one who will stand up to him. Can't afford legal fees. My family once said. It's because you have little money that this happens.
    He trying me make me go over the edge. Been in tears. 
  • 1804
    1804 Member Posts: 29 Connected
    My M.P. said he can't Forse me. But they say they can.
  • 1804
    1804 Member Posts: 29 Connected
    He only comes round to threaten. Police are not bothered this was years ago. No one can see this silent bullying. It makes him and my sister feel good as they love fighting. I lost a friend through him. As he wants to tell neighbours. And make out I am the bully. Bullys do this. It will stirred my illness up make me worse. Just got out of a caste then a medical boot. They pestered me at door. Not allowed to be ill. It's all about them or this house. I smelt the coffee since my divorce.

  • 1804
    1804 Member Posts: 29 Connected
    I got no help. Social Services back down, mediation has failed twice. Got a solicitor to do a letter and explanation my situation. But don't know what he capable of. Up till now empty threats. Bullied as a child. was raped in Africa when I was 7 by his servants friends. Maybe due to the way he treated the Africans in Africa. He 81. He controlling my family to go against me. My brother sister and mum bring me down. When he wants his ways only. I am the escape goat.

    What can I do?
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @1804 Please can I say how sorry I am.  I had this myself.  Living with parents.  Trying to get out of a situation with abusive Mother.

    Hard and never ending.

    I have the only answer is to leave the rented accommodation you are in.

    I know you are sick but that is the only alternative I can think of.  As they partly own the property you have no choice.. there some one who  you can go to.  Turn to.  Understand all the illness and disability.  Speak to disabled organisations.  Disability Rights UK.  Might be a answer.  Welfare Rights another.

    This reminds me of my situation sorry to say this.  I had this with councillors and other well meaning people.  No one wants to hear the truth.  No one ever believes a word.This needs to be stopped and you to be listened to.  I think the people who decided to go on the side of the family are very much mistaken.

    Understand I have been there as well.

    To the extent now am very wary of dealing with certain organisations employing certain people.

    My advice is to seek some support.  Make a diary.  Consult a file of evidence.  Speak to some one legal.  There are services available seek them out.   Usually on line such as Advocates or other legal representatives. If your too ill .  Appoint a advocate to speak on your behalf.

    Please be aware I had to do this .  As I was ill mentally myself and had an addiction at the same time.

    You will succeed be strong as well as you can be.  You have come on here today.  Thank you for sharing.  You have to do this.

    Take care

    The Spiceman

    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • 1804
    1804 Member Posts: 29 Connected
    Hi it's not rented. I own part of this property. I am the sole persons who lives here. Can't afford a Solicitor. No legal aid. Can't rent until property is sold. Don't want to rent as moving would kill me. Can't get a council property. The amount is not worth moving for as would not be enough to buy something in the south east. As I am ill can't have money made from property as u can only have so much in the bank. As don't work as very ill. That's why they bully me. As they can't force me to move. As no where to go. They pretent that they want to sell for control empty threats. Can't believe them at all. So in a rock and a hard place. Stick situation. 
  • 1804
    1804 Member Posts: 29 Connected
    They taken my daughter away she 22 they have brain washed her. If I answer the door. I am shouted at threats. They want me to back down.

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 1,748 Listener
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  • 1804
    1804 Member Posts: 29 Connected
    It's been 2 years not answer the door. They are really bad bullys. That's all I can do.
  • steve51
    steve51 Member Posts: 7,154 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @1804

    I’m so sorry to hear about your current

    Is there anything that I can do to try & help/support you???
  • 1804
    1804 Member Posts: 29 Connected
    That's kind. Where can u get advacacy help?
  • hartill77
    hartill77 Member Posts: 97 Courageous
    Hi @1804
    Have you tried this calling anyone from the nhs? I have found this

    call Action on Elder Abuse on 0808 808 8141 for advice                           

    you may have already tried them, if you haven't it could be worth a try to get some advice.  

    Hope you get the help you need. 

  • Pippa_Alumni
    Pippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,798 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @1804, I am so sorry to hear about your experiences. Given your situation, I think it would be best to talk with somebody from our wonderful helpline team, who will do their best to help. You can call them for free on 0808 800 3333 or email [email protected] Please do keep us updated. 


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