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Doing a wobbley

charlenecharlene Member Posts: 555 Pioneering
hello, I was just wondering how others in this group keep their nerve about MR and going to Tribunal.  Every so often, when thinking about my MR or going to Tribunal, day or night I do a wobblley and feel physically sick, and think 'oh my, what are you doing, what have I done?

any advice on how to stay calm?
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Replies

  • susan48susan48 Member Posts: 2,229 Disability Gamechanger
    @charlene
    i did the very same, couldn’t eat, sleep do anything but think about it.

    but at the end of the day, I know it’s hard, there nothing you can do about it, you’v done what you can so far.

    maybe talk to your gp x
  • debbiedo49debbiedo49 Member Posts: 2,906 Disability Gamechanger
    Me too ! I’m just trying to distract myself. However there are some good pointers on here to prepare you for it
    💜🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
    I am a fibro warrior !💜♏️
  • debkenzodebkenzo Member Posts: 110 Pioneering
    Hi Charlene
    I really do not know how I have kept my calm, been waiting since last September 2017 to get a tribunal date.  It is making me feel suicidal!  Reading other peoples' experiences, i realise that i am not alone and somehow this gives me some strength to keep going and to fight for justice.  I put on music to create a distraction but then reality kicks in and then down i go again, until another distraction.  Roller coaster rides should pick up all those government idiots and take them on the longest ride of their stupid and ignorant lives!!! 
  • april123april123 Member Posts: 137 Pioneering
    I feel he same @charlene, waiting to go cab on Friday and requested private doctors letter as all my evidence was 14/15 years ago.  Not eating or sleeping driving myself nuts, and my poor husband.  Then I will have to write MR letter and hope I get it right. I think we all live in our own little world to stay safe but they are forcing us out of our comfort zones, ripping us apart then leaving us to pick our own wounds. Lovley world we live in. Charma will pay them back.
  • debkenzodebkenzo Member Posts: 110 Pioneering
    Hi April. 
    I really do feel for what you are going through.  When people say. "I know what you are going through, i used to say...."NO YOU DON'T"  But in this instance i believe that we all know exactly what each one of us is going through!!!
    If you need any help with your MR then i would like to help you.  I have helped other people with their letters as I used to be a proof reader...still am i suppose? 
  • charlenecharlene Member Posts: 555 Pioneering
    So sorry to hear everyone is suffering.  I find it tough enough to take one day at a time with my illnesses let alone take on DWP.  Also waiting to hear about my complaint against Atos assessor. At least with my complaint against Atos assessor, I only have to think of her grinning at me trying to get me to agree to the 3 mins of walking and my resolve returns.
    When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
  • debkenzodebkenzo Member Posts: 110 Pioneering
    May we ALL find some strength from each other!  Sharing can be quite powerful and reassuring :)
  • charlenecharlene Member Posts: 555 Pioneering
    Hi April, I certainly live in my own little world.  Whenever I am hurt, I tend to go to ground. don't go out, phone or pickup on phone calls.   Can take me months to  recover and then  I am only on automatic pilot.
    When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
  • april123april123 Member Posts: 137 Pioneering
    Thank you @debkenzo I may ask your advise if I Eva get my head round it all. It really helps to know I not on my own but sorry to think we are all in the same boat. Moving from DLA to PIP is definitely a challenge and complety different, wish I had known earlier. I will be word perfect next time. She says lol xx
  • debkenzodebkenzo Member Posts: 110 Pioneering
    Hi April
    If you need some help with your letter you can send me a private message with your email address and we can go from there :)
    I like to get my teeth into this stuff, it gives great satisfaction that I can help someone.  Seems a lot of us are in the same boat, lets all row together to make this horrid situation a little easier.
  • susan48susan48 Member Posts: 2,229 Disability Gamechanger
    edited April 2018
    @debkenzo,
    i could have used your brain with helping me fill in the form I just received from ESA, people who live with me form.

    im not good at actually writing what I’m trying to say, I know in my head but find it hard to put into words.

    will keep your talent for form/letter writing in my head if I need help in the future, if that’s not being too cheeky.

    x
  • debbiedo49debbiedo49 Member Posts: 2,906 Disability Gamechanger
    This is a great thread!
    💜🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
    I am a fibro warrior !💜♏️
  • debbiedo49debbiedo49 Member Posts: 2,906 Disability Gamechanger

    💜🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
    I am a fibro warrior !💜♏️
  • charlenecharlene Member Posts: 555 Pioneering
    Gorgeous what a lovely picture.  Feeling really unwell today done nothing but sleep.
    When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
  • charlenecharlene Member Posts: 555 Pioneering
    Hi Susan, I can be the opposite, can write it all down, but tongued when I need to verbalise.
    When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
  • susan48susan48 Member Posts: 2,229 Disability Gamechanger
    Charlene,
    talking when anxious is difficult for me also, can’t get words out, stutter or simply cannot talk. It’s very frustrating.

    i hope your feeling a little better, mybe see your gp if your still really low due to your PIP etc.

    im just starting to sleep a little better, with the help of sleeping tablets but it’s been a struggle so I understand totally.

    susan
  • charlenecharlene Member Posts: 555 Pioneering
    Pleased to hear you are sleeping better now.  This problem with PIP is getting me down, I think it is the waiting time.  My life seems to be on hold, and I just want it over.  Could still take I think another 3 weeks to hear if my MR has been successful.
    When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
  • susan48susan48 Member Posts: 2,229 Disability Gamechanger
    @charlene,

    thanks. I know it’s getting you down and it’s dreadful the time we are left waiting on decisions. They are very quick to cancel or stop or amend your award but the same can’t be said for them to make decisions.

    maybe use this **** time to prepare incase you need to go to tribunal, I really hope it doesn’t come to that.

    uncertainty, for me anyway, is hell. Even if something happens during the day that I wasn’t expecting can spiral out of control as far as my head goes.
     
    Im guessing your the same. 3 weeks is a long time to wait but hopefully the sunshine is here to stay for a while and will maybe lift your mood a bit x 
  • charlenecharlene Member Posts: 555 Pioneering
    Thanks Susan for your support and advice.  Not sure how I should prepare for Tribunal? Any ideas.
    When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
  • susan48susan48 Member Posts: 2,229 Disability Gamechanger
    I used a template I’m sure, for the tribunal letter outlining some of the points which were incorrect or irrelevant from my f2f assessment. The MR came back that they agreed with the assessor, no surprise there.

    theres maybe one on here somewhere or call scopes helpline, they could maybe send it to you direct.

    As far as the preparation goes that’s really all I did plus when I received my date for Appeal I sent in updated medication list and a letter, which I didn’t know existed, from psychology. My gp printed it for me. That how I found out”officially “ I had social anxiety.

    i sent those into the tribunal board but remember to put a covering letter with name, tribunal ref and NI number.

    then it’s the bloody waiting game again. I only waited 10 weeks thankfully to go to tribunal.

    sorry I’m ranting on.

    just ask anything and I will try and help x
  • Pippa_AlumniPippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,851 Disability Gamechanger
    In case it's of any help, here is a tool for putting together MR letters, as suggested above by @susan48!
  • charlenecharlene Member Posts: 555 Pioneering
    My son has agreed to write a letter in support of my claim.  Just wondering how this letter should be worded, as I know he has to state he is my son. Also he has to attest etc.
    When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
  • susan48susan48 Member Posts: 2,229 Disability Gamechanger
    @charlene I’m not sure but the link @PippaScope put above has a section on appeals.

    if your still unsure maybe @PippaScope or @CockneyRebel?

    iv not done that so I’m afraid I don’t know, sorry but glad has helping you with a letter 
  • Pippa_AlumniPippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,851 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @charlene, this supporting evidence resource is by Action For ME, but seems quite generalisable to other conditions too- might be worth a look!
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,257 Disability Gamechanger
    charlene said:
    My son has agreed to write a letter in support of my claim.  Just wondering how this letter should be worded, as I know he has to state he is my son. Also he has to attest etc.
    So their letters must include their name and address, they need to explain their relation to the claimant and how often they see them.

    Then they need to explain anything they see the claimant do or not do in regard to the relevant benefits activities and any other comments that they have.

    Lastly they need to attest that the information that they have provided is correct to the best of their ability.

    Sent PM

    CR
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • charlenecharlene Member Posts: 555 Pioneering
    Thanks CR,.  Should he write Carole or Mum?
    When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,257 Disability Gamechanger
    I would suggest he write Mum if that is what he normally calls you.

    CR
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • charlenecharlene Member Posts: 555 Pioneering
    When I am on my 'high horse' I am called Mother, but I am usually mum.
    When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,257 Disability Gamechanger
    LOL I am sure there may be other names as well  but not printable :)

    CR
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • charlenecharlene Member Posts: 555 Pioneering
    Lol, I expect you are right, but I am not going there:)
    When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
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