Age gap relationships — Scope | Disability forum
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Age gap relationships

Sholay09 Member Posts: 94 Courageous
Hello I am now 20 years old and I am thinking about wanting an older man to be in a romantic relationship with as I am interested in men in their mid 20s to early 30s I wanted to asknow whether it is ok as I feel it should be as I am now an adult myself and also because I do not want anybody to say anything bad or to judge me because I am now in my 20s and old enough to do what I want.


  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,673 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Sholay09
    My husband is 9 years older than me and we have never had any issues in our relationship because of age.

    I think it is about finding the right partner for you and age shouldnt be important in an adult relationship :)
    Senior online community officer
  • PSHEexpert
    PSHEexpert Member Posts: 170 Pioneering
    I agree - it's important to focus on the person and not their age.  If I were you I wouldn't be worrying particularly about how old someone is, and concentrate more on whether you have the right things in common, want the same things, make each other happy, etc. :)
    - Gill 
  • Sholay09
    Sholay09 Member Posts: 94 Courageous
    Ok thank you Sam for saying that as I want people also to treat me and talk to me as a grown up and not as a child as it is not like I am underage like I am 13 for an example when I am talking about wanting to be in a relationship with an older man.
  • Sholay09
    Sholay09 Member Posts: 94 Courageous
    Ok thanks Gill for making me feel a bit more better, confident, happy and more comfortable about it.
  • wilko
    wilko Member Posts: 2,457 Disability Gamechanger
    Beuity is in the beholder. What you, I or others see in a person is ill relevant. Its what you personally see, find attractive in the other person not what others think. As long as the two of you get on fine and not getting in an abuseive being used relationship then go for it, happy loving.
  • RoseK
    RoseK Member Posts: 2 Listener
    Everyone has a different opinion on age gaps i myself prefer an older partner but that is just my preference, If you are attracted to the person and get along well and are happy then age etc doesn't matter and the opinions and judgement of others is irrelevant. Do what makes you happy. I wish you luck and hope you find the love and happiness you seek. 
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 43 Listener
    edited June 2018
    My wife is 15 years old than me.  When I was 21 my first serious gf was 45!
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    My second wife was 9 years younger than me and my last partner 15 years younger. Generally age should not be a relevant criteria for choosing someone. It is well known that women mature earlier than most men so I can understand why you might feel this way. However, when I was 59 I was friendly with and helping a young lady of 30 who became very attached to me. Under most circumstances that might not have been an issue but, due to her having Cerebral Palsy, she was much less mature than most young ladies her age. Her parents understood this so she often complained they were interfering even though it was they and not she who was being sensible. It isn't really about age but about how mature a person is. People of the same maturity tend to be attracted to each other. Maturity is usually affected by life experiences and not by age.

    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.


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