21 yr old daughter with Autism lost all confidence - need help! — Scope | Disability forum
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21 yr old daughter with Autism lost all confidence - need help!

vanessa68 Member Posts: 4 Listener
Hi is there anyone who can give me some advice. My daughter is now 21 almost 22 she has autism and a significant learning disability.  She is a very sweet funny girl but one who is scared or the outside world.  She gets so anxious about going out. She left school at 19 was in a smashing secondary school was very popular. Went to a collage and that's when she changed overnight . Her confidance Went from being sure of herself to head down picki g her nails and skin. No eye contact at all where we used to get some. Eyes flitting around to see the easiest way out. She found the collage too big Noisey scary and if really frightened her. She did well in going the whole of one term. But when we had the October break she totally refused to go back crying and being sick we moved on from that to staying in the house. Now a days she only goes out with me . And I van only get her out if she wants something. If she can't get it online . She is into her computer and ps4. This is her life now I get her out 1 or twice a month if I'm lucky. She had a social worker from the 0 to 25 team. He found places where she could go but refused point blank. I stay home with her all the time and she won't even go out in the garden. She has shut herself away inside herself. It worries me sick for her future and of course this isn't the life I want her her. I love her so much it breaks my heart when I think how she was and how she is now.


  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @vanessa68 and a warm welcome to the community. I am glad you have found us.
    You have obviously done a terrific job so far (for 21 going on 22 years!) and I hope very much that we can help you find a way through it. College seems to have been deeply traumatic.
    Can I ask if you have connected with the National Autistic Society? If not, you might find it worthwhile raising the same questions with them.
    Not having clear answers myself, I am going to tag in our own ASD Advisor, which will hopefully bring her to this conversation also. Please, please bear with us, and we will get back to you as soon as possible.
    Tagging @VioletFenn
    Warmest best wishes,
  • vanessa68
    vanessa68 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Hello Richard. Thank you for your reply. Yes I have been in touch with the National  Autistic society on and off for many years. 
  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @vanessa68 and thank you for getting back to me. I'm still hoping our specialist ASD advisor will connect with you shortly - it's possible the weekend may slow things down a bit.
    We're here, however, and I'm here for sure, so if it would even help just to chat let me know. I worked for a decade or so as a learning support assistant supporting children on the spectrum in high school, so I'm not a total stranger to what you have both been going through. I was pleased to hear that the secondary school did a good job for you - I wasn't hugely impressed with my own.
    Warmest best wishes to you and to your daughter,
    Richard @JennysDad
  • vanessa68
    vanessa68 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Hi Richard  thanks good to know you and other people are here. Feel so less alone. And I'm sure I can return the favour by being here for others. Yes secondary school was brilliant great support system unfortunately once it's ended your out there on your own. A bit like a bird flying the nest ☺.
    It must of been very interesting being involved in school life.
    Thanks for replying. Kind regards 


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