Aspergers and gaming

four4mum

I'm a parent of a son with aspergers.  He is 21 and into gaming in a big way. He'll stay up until 6 in the morning playing and then sleep all day. He failed exams at college, but with a lot of help from college advisors he managed to get into university. His first year was a foundation course, leading to a 2yr degree course in his chosen subject. Unfortunately he only passed 1 module out of 8 of the foundation course, because he was too busy gaming to do his coursework.  He says he's tried to get on another course, but says he hasn't heard anything. He says he'll get a job, but has done nothing about it. He argues and then slams off into his bedroom if you try to talk to him. We, as his disabled parents are at the end of our tether and need help. Is there anyone out there who can give us any help please. Sue 

paulfleming

i do gaming in a big way and often up late. your circumstances sound very complex. i might say have a talk with your GP. mayby some family mediation. im not best placed for advice, but i do wish you well in difficult circumstances.

four4mum

Thank you Paul. I will try my gp, they'll hopefully be able to suggest something xxxx

cripps

You could try confiscating his gaming equipment until he starts engaging with his parents and his future, try explaining that his future is more important than games. If i sound a little harsh then maybe I’m a little old school where parents where in charge of there children and not the other way round. NC

four4mum

Thanks Cripps. The problem is he's 21 and the gaming equipment belongs to him, he bought it, so it's difficult to confiscate. We have tried that before however, but to no avail. We make him do chores, to get him out of the bedroom, but that doesn't work, he either doesn't do them or does them then disappears straight back into his bedroom. We are at the end of our tether, as this is his future he's destroying xxxx

thespiceman

Hello @four4mum Pleased to meet you. Please can I say sounds like your son has got an addiction to gaming.

Apparently this is becoming quite prevalent in our society. I have never heard of this. Until I went to a conference down in Birmingham about a year or two ago.

It is a mental health charity conference who had a session on addiction. I have an addiction history alcohol and drugs. So to my surprise the group leader announced gaming.

Being of a certain age , had no idea about it or anything. Some one in the group explained very common in the hobby and especially those who are young around your sons age.

Any addiction needs professional help. I recall might be worth having a look on line for support. I would consider that. No matter how hard you tried he has to see for himself what he is doing.

Like an alcoholic or a drug addict he has to be guided by professional help. Intervention by your good selves is not going to help trust me.

Your GP probably would help.

Understand if you think you son does not have an addiction then I am afraid that there are those now.  In our country tend to disagree.

One point I was amazed the amount of new ones coming out. Effecting our selves. This conference  I attended were was on line shopping, scratch cards, which are causing addiction and mental problems.. 

Hope that helps.

@thespiceman

four4mum

Hi thespiceman, I know about addiction, am 8 months sober from vodka. I know my son is addicted to gaming, but as he's only 21 he can't come to the place I go to to get help with my addiction. I'm going to go and see my gp and see if there's anywhere he can go to get help, as he needs help badly. Thanks for your advice. Sue 

Pippa_Scope

Thanks for sharing this @four4mum, and it sounds like a good decision to go and see your GP. Please do keep us updated!

thespiceman

Hello @four4mum   Thanks for replying back to me. First well done for you staying off. I myself have been clean now for eleven years ongoing.

Having been thirty years an alcoholic.

Please can I add every day I know is a struggle and I wish you all the best.  Small steps.

I find this helps much of time talking. On this forum. There are many community members who I know are the same so please contact me. If you wish to. Anytime.

Just let you know am here if you need any additional support. I know you are getting help and advice from the people concerned with your addiction.

Which is good and the main thing.

Understand about your son.  I am aware of hard it is and to deal with this.  Any addiction is always no matter what.  May I just add one thing that I saw a story on the web pages. This afternoon. Giving a lot of information and other things related to the addiction

Might be worth having a look.  

Take care
Always in prayers and thoughts

@thespiceman