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Worried sick about my son's ESA

jaxs Member Posts: 13 Listener
this nightmare started in 2016 ,, when the dwp sent me to an assessor for my ESA she lied and i go noting and was caring for my son so welfare rights advised me to claim income support as i was receiving carers  ,, he as alopicia and been diagnosed witih separation anxieties , and shows autistic  trades ,, at the time we were living together ,, we have since moved in with daughter due to my depression from childhood abuse and i have autoimmune diseases,, i have scleroderma sever raynards RA sygons disease  and hyhated hernia  stomach problems acid reflux  depression brain fog and anxieties ,,i vomit most days , have a phobia about takeing med s and at times they become stuck in my throat causing me to vomit i was on low dla for 12 years for help round kitchen due to raynoids ,, the welfare rights helped me fill in PIP forms ,, i waited 12 months for a date it came round but at the time i was on strong pain killers for syatica so it was postponed for more medical reports ... in total ive waited 18 months
I went to the courts and was put tho 2 hours of non stop grilling ,,i slept for a day and a half  and of course i lost the appeal i feel so humaliated and distressed by it all welfare rights seem to think it was a fare hearing ,, to make matters worse i found my brother 8 weeks ago after hes hung himself due to being harassed from the dwp for mental heath problems ,, so as you can imagine  the trauma of that and the hearing got to me i have reach rock bottom
they have decided now its my sons turn ,, im in no fit state to think ,, we had an assments on saturday last week 25th august 2018
my son sits with his head  down and talks to no one so i had to try and answer for him i feel its went horrendously wrong ,,if he dont get his PIP my money for careres will stop so that will be another worry my head hurts and i cant fight no more i feel so defeated
im going to doctors today dont know if it will help ,, who knows
im worried sick for the future for my son ,,,, who desperately needs help ive been every where  talked to   lots of out reach services to be told hes too severe for them to help


  • Ninny
    Ninny Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Hi you are going through a really tough time. This is a really unfair system. Do you have a social worker. I'm afraid I don't know the ins and outs of these benefits. It seems the systems not working and people are suffering due to the failings.  All i can say to you Is i think it's awful how you are being treated. Go to the doctors and maybe he or she can recommend any services to support you and fight your corner..or even personal help for your mental health.  Well I hope it all gets sorted. I was really moved and felt sad when reading about this clear unfair treatment. Just wished I had answers to help you. I think you are incredibly strong i wish you all the best. XxxX 
  • Pippa_Alumni
    Pippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,798 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @jaxs, how are you doing? I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences, I can't imagine how tough things have been on both you and your son, and I really hope you gain the awards you're entitled to. I wonder if there's anything @Gill_Scope can add, here?
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 273 Pioneering
    Hi @jaxis

    I am so sorry to read about all these issues that you are dealing with, and especially to read that you have recently lost your brother in very upsetting circumstances. 

    I wonder whether your finding your brother was before or after the tribunal hearing and whether the GP would be able to write a new fit note (medical certificate) with a new health condition so that yo might after all get ESA. 

    I can appreciate what you say about your benefits package being i jeopardy if your son were to lose his benefit entitlement.

    Has your son had help form Welfare Rights with his PIP claim?  If not, they may be best placed to help him with this. As Ninny suggests, it sounds like it's probably appropriate to try to get some support form your Social Services department. Have you thought about asking for a disabled person's care needs assessment for him or for yourself? Carers are also entitled to an assessment.

    Do update us on all of this. 


  • jaxs
    jaxs Member Posts: 13 Listener
    sorry for the late reply, , my son is being helped by welfare rights hes failed his pip , they have NO understanding about mental health , hes came into my bedroom earlier and ive sat and explained hes failed his assessment , he just looked scared asking what are we going to do , im heart broken as i cant answer him ,the fear on his face is heartbreaking,he dosnt understand how much this is going to effect his life
    im  normaly a strong person but i am broken i dont know where to turn ,,
    i have been to the doctors and he has given me a sick note back dated from when i found my brother that has traumatized me to the point i cant even think ,,,
    im as low as i can get and feel so guilty for being ill myself ,
    i will ask monday morning for social services help (so degrading) and get intouc with welfare rights
    my doctor also had CAB ring me ,,i fear im finding it very difficult working with theses people who are government funded and work for the very people were up against ...
  • jaxs
    jaxs Member Posts: 13 Listener
    i feel the appeal i went too for myself should of been delayed as i am too traumatized to speak .. it was a farce from start to finish and 18 months of worry and stress done nothing for my mental health ,,which was never brought up in the appeal but welfare rights said it was all done by the book ,,, how can i trust theses people ????
  • clarabelle
    clarabelle Member Posts: 71 Courageous
    I'm so sorry to hear this. CAB are helpful- give them a chance.   Ask the organisation that helped with the pip app to do the appeal for you and to get info from your doctor to support that. Did your doctor offer to refer you for counselling or do you have a care coordinator yourself?

    With regards to social/children's services support, there should be advocacy agencies that can deal with them.on your behalf  - maybe ask welfare rights to make a referral?
    I appreciate it's hard to trust anyone that appears to be working in conjection with the dwp,,but my experience has been that cab, advocacy agencies and disability advice agencies have been really supportive. 

    Good luck 
  • jaxs
    jaxs Member Posts: 13 Listener
    ty clarabelle, the lady i spoke to from the CAB agreed with me that they lie , and does nothing about it ,, but ill see what happens on monday morning ,, my son is 24 and i have been to numerous mental health organizations but becoz my son is very with drawn and dosent talk there is nothing they can do my doctor has offered him one to one once a month for half an ur to see if he can build up a relationship to get him to talk and then go from there ,, and   ty for your reply ,,,


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