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Struggling to come to terms with your disability

Hi hi my name is Pauline & 11yrs ago I got up to make a cup of tea burst a disc which caused sever nerve damage. I ended up walking with crutches which brought problems of their own but I carried on as best I could, 6 month ago things took another turn for the worse & I now using a wheelchair full time. I’m really struggling to come to terms with this as my house isn’t wheelchair accessible & I’m having to move. Is there anyone who has been threw something similar who can give me tips on how to get back to being me PLEASE pxx
Replies
Welcome to the community! I'm terribly sorry for what has happened. I too became wheelchair bound last year and I just could not accept it. I now have a mobility scooter which has given me independence and a confidence boost. Speak to you GP to see if you could be referred to a Occupational Therapist, they are brilliant and they help you to find alternative ways of making the most of what you can do
Disability Gamechanger - 2019
I know exactly how you feel, my mum and my partner look after me when I am at home and it's the littlest things that wind me up, but I know they are only trying to help. It really got to me the other day and I just broke down in tears, I explained to them that they've got to let me try and do things on my own, if I can't do them then I will ask for help. You do have a purpose, we all do. I know we don't feel like that at times. Your husband deeply cares about you, don't feel guilty. Everything you are feeling right now is completely normal. You will get through this along with your husbands help and the community's help
Disability Gamechanger - 2019
Disability Gamechanger - 2019
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I have looked into buying a light weight mobility scooter, so i can get out, and have some form of a normal existence. But have found that even when taken apart, they are to heavy for me to lift. I feel so isolated, i to try , i can still drive an automatic car, but when i get to where ever, am unable to ealk more than a few yards. Can any one suggest something i have not thought of
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I am aware the Samaritans do a marvelous job. And i have been in discussions with one of the largest manufacturers and they will pass my comments to their design team.
What i was hoping from my original comment, was to have contact with others in my situation.
I'm 43 and have been battling a spinal condition must of my life. I've had failed surgery and a whole array of other treatment over the past 30 years. I was always able to get back up and mobile. Always took time and care, but I always managed to put away the crutches and get back to some way on living again. May this year my life completely changed and I have no real idea how. I just started using my walking stick and crutches again due to pain. After emergency MRI I had ruptured yet more discs in my lower spine. I'm now on the waiting list for Anterior Spinal Fusion (not looking forward to it). But for the past few months I've realised my options have run out. There is no other treatment, I've tried them all. I've picked myself more times than I can remember in the past 30 years but this time I knew I had hit rock bottom. I had no strength left to fight, exhausted from the constant battle of getting mobile again. This is it, Spinal Fusion or Wheelchair????
After 8 weeks of morphine and other prescription drugs and being bed bound I decided I had to overcome yet again my situation. First thing I did from my bed was ordered an electric wheelchair (Freedom Chair). Yes, it would put me in debt with my credit card but if I could get from the bed to the front door (I live in a bungalow which helps) I could get in my wheelchair and be free. I researched wheelchair a lot, didn't have much else to do laying in bed. I didn't feel I could manage a manual wheelchair, so opted for electric. The Freedom Chair stated it was light weight, believe me it isn't. but my husband sets it up uncover outside the back door, ready for when I need it. This helped my mental health no end (I also have PTSD) but I can now go and get my son from school. I have battled against having a wheelchair for so long but really it's given me so much. It's given my body time to help it heal, I don't feel so exhausted from using my crutches all the time and I'm off the dreaded Morphine. I'm far from fixed and will still need surgery, which i'm still unsure will help (you hearing so many differing stories). But at least with my wheelchair I can get out and about in my local village and days trips with my friends and family. I can't do what I want to do and that's caused me great frustration . I've learnt there is no point sitting back getting depressed and expecting life to still be the same as before. I've had to find ways of adapting, changing routines, changing hobbies, changing lives expectations. It takes me at least two hours to cook a meal from scratch, but so be it. I treat it as a hobby, my work tops are to high so I use my kitchen table, sit and prepare everything. It's a way I can give back to my hard working husband and 8 year old son. They both care for me so much and I found cooking is a way I can give back to them. Yes they fuss and treat me like i'm going to break but it would be a lonely place without them.
It took me along time just to accept the fact that since 2015 I was classed as disabled, let alone being out in a wheelchair. The looks, questions, comments, the fuss. It's such a different world and finally one i'm almost happy and comfortable to be in. Hopefully at some point I may be able to put the wheelchair away, but for now I've learnt that it's actually my best friend. Yes I would love to have my old life back but while I was struggling to come to terms with my disability I was miserable, my poor husband and son I think I would of left. But now i'm more accepting, life is looking brighter and some how slightly easier to deal with.
Always happy to talk xx
I would love a mobility scooter, but cannot lift anything, i am on the waiting list for social services to give me an assessment, but in my area its a long waiting list.
The hardest thing is being alone, and having to try and cope. My nearest family live some 20 miles away, and are in their 80's so cant help.
I thank you for your response that means a lot to me x