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Critical Care Review

Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,946 Disability Gamechanger
I had my Critical Care Review yesterday and I think I'm still trying to process everything...

I was petrified beforehand as I had no idea what to expect. My mum and Ewan (my fiancé) were with me as they have been by my side since it all began.

Sitting there, in my wheelchair, I didn't know where to look, we sat in a typical meeting room but again I didn't know what to expect. I'm deaf so sitting there not knowing what was being said made me ten times worse. Mum relayed some bits to me about discussing my progress and the flashbacks/nightmares I've been having since discharge. 

After a while, the nurse handed something to my mum and instantly she cried. I knew it was the photo of me when I was in a coma.  I knew about the photo but this was going to be the first time in actually seeing it. I tried to imagine what the picture would be like. I had 6 different machines around me including dialysis, ventilators and god knows what else. Then I saw myself just lying there. To me, I look like I am dead. That's when realisation hit me and I broke down in tears.

They are going to send me the diary that they kept so family members could write in. I'm not dreading reading it, I know it will give me comfort that everybody I love was around me.

They asked if I would like to go onto the ward, mum then relayed to me and I said yes. As soon as I saw the bay I was in, I started shaking and feeling sick. I knew I had to do this, I had to accept everything that had happened in order for me to move on. There was a man in the bay I was in, asleep, machines around him. I just wanted to go and sit next to him, hold his hand.  Seeing family members around their bedsides just broke my heart. They're going through hell.

A doctor walked past and said hello to my mum and Ewan. Just being polite and then he looked down at me (He must be like 7ft) and double backed, he was amazed to see me. Every single doctor and nurse was. Mum was telling everyone about my progress and showing my videos of my progress. They really didn't know which way it would go with me. I'm lucky to be alive!

The reason they amazed...I am beyond over the moon to say that I've done it!


Thank you to the NHS for saving my life! ❤️
Disability Gamechanger - 2019


  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Ami2301 Thanks for writing about your experiences and the trauma you have endured.

    Understanding how the body needs to heal and to be recovering after any critical situation .  Is the first step to be more aware of how you are coping.

    Understanding also that it is never easy to explain to people your emotions and feelings what has happened . Never is.

    I know have talked to privately about my experiences and  be aware of the important aspects of healing.

    Attaining goals and overcoming barriers.  This is I believe can be beneficial to your health.

    Continue the amazing achievements you have already done and continue on the path to recovery.

    I am as a member of the community. Proud to see what you have done and to call you a friend.

    Speak soon

    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,676 Disability Gamechanger
    Oh @Ami2301
    That gave me goosebumps to read! 
    Senior online community officer
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,946 Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you @thespiceman and @Sam_Scope
    I am still trying to process everything. I apologise if I keep going on about what's happened  but it's just a lot to take in. 
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,676 Disability Gamechanger
    Will you be offered any councelling @Ami2301 ?
    Senior online community officer
  • easy
    easy Member Posts: 205 Pioneering
    I am so pleased for you! 
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,946 Disability Gamechanger
    I am currently seeing a psychologist here at rehab. The doctor did say nightmares and flashbacks are to be expected at this stage. If it continues after rehab or in the future then I will seek help. Talking to everyone here helps me and takes me away from the flashbacks. 

    I need to focus on the here and now. I've got so many things to look forward to, Ewan and I getting married next year, getting involved with Scope more. Watching our nieces and nephews continue to blossom, not wasting anymore time waiting, nobody knows what's around the corner. Tell the ones you care about that you love them. Cherish every single moment ❤️
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,946 Disability Gamechanger
    Thanks @easy
    Its been bloody hard but worth it!
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019


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