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Spouse divorcing me and has put our home up for sale!
murphy10
Member Posts: 9 Listener
Hi Everyone
After 30 year's together my wife has decided it's over. My wife has applied for a divorce.
I accept this as I don't want to have someone who doesn't want to be around!
My concerns are I recently went to Crisis Team at hospital feeling suicidal, due to my disabilities.
It was after this my wife decided she could not support me , emotionally etc. Which is ok, I get this.
I am registered disabled for Physical, Learning and mental health Disabilities.
Since finding out that she has applied for a divorce, I am pannaking that she has the interest of the house sale more of a priority than my Disabilities.
I have requested that I will not be forced out of my home until I have found somewhere else to live.
She initally said " I don't want to lose the sale if a couple make an offer for our house and we will cross that bridge when we get there" That sent me into pannic mode.
I don't know if I can get help due to the circumstances, I am currently in.
I think I just need advice.
I do know one thing which is my wife has already made her intentions very clear.
To say that this has not helped my current thoughts of self harm any easier, I am a fighter and will persevere with whatever is thrown at me.
Please let me know if you have any advice you can give me, it would be greatly appreciated.
Kind regards John
After 30 year's together my wife has decided it's over. My wife has applied for a divorce.
I accept this as I don't want to have someone who doesn't want to be around!
My concerns are I recently went to Crisis Team at hospital feeling suicidal, due to my disabilities.
It was after this my wife decided she could not support me , emotionally etc. Which is ok, I get this.
I am registered disabled for Physical, Learning and mental health Disabilities.
Since finding out that she has applied for a divorce, I am pannaking that she has the interest of the house sale more of a priority than my Disabilities.
I have requested that I will not be forced out of my home until I have found somewhere else to live.
She initally said " I don't want to lose the sale if a couple make an offer for our house and we will cross that bridge when we get there" That sent me into pannic mode.
I don't know if I can get help due to the circumstances, I am currently in.
I think I just need advice.
I do know one thing which is my wife has already made her intentions very clear.
To say that this has not helped my current thoughts of self harm any easier, I am a fighter and will persevere with whatever is thrown at me.
Please let me know if you have any advice you can give me, it would be greatly appreciated.
Kind regards John
Replies
Its very sad reading but having been there myself years ago I can empathise with your situation .
Please don’t wait for your wife to make the next move .
You need legal advice to establish what your rights are given your situation .
Is the house in both names? They will ask you things like that .
As Firefly123 said get in touch with the crisis team if you need to . Please don’t suffer in silence my friend .
All the very best and I hope someone can point you in the right direction
David
I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through at the moment. It's good to hear that you're being proactive in trying to find a solution.
Given the circumstances, I believe it would be best to speak to your local Citizens Advice, who may be able to offer more in-depth guidance about your rights and any help that may be available. Please do keep us updated and let us know how you get on.
I fled my home with nothing and found a solicitor. Within 4 weeks he was legally entitled to change the locks and refuse me entrance to the house.
Within 11 months I had secured a degree nisi BUT it took a further 2 years before the house could be sold as he had reprentation from Citizen Advice and he requested Financial Mediation which I had to comply with as it was his legal right and once this was finally agreed it was another 4 months before I could finally sell the house as he would not sign the release form and it took a further court hearing to make him.
So don't panic, either find yourself a decent solicitor if you are in a financial situation to do so or contact CAB, Your wife may just have a nasty shock coming as she cannot move out and sell the house under you, if she tries she can be legally stopped, plus you can ask for financial mediation, the service is free and you do not need dependent children to access it,. Our kids we r all married with families.
Please get some legal advise ASAP as this kind of stress isn't good for you. I know it is hard but knowing your right in this situation will take the biggest worry off your shoulders. The law has been updated in recent years and my situation was under the new regulations.
Good Luck Anand keep safe
Appreciated, J
Suicuidal due to disabilities and wife divorcing me and put home up for sale. update
After 30 year's together my wife has decided it's over. My wife has applied for a divorce.
I accept this as I don't want to have someone who doesn't want to be around!
My concerns are I recently went to Crisis Team at hospital feeling suicidal, due to my disabilities. ill health retirement afterv32 years myself supporting vulnerable people throughout my career, last 15 years a Local Gov Homeless hostel for single homeless men and , young persons hostels across Manchester.
It was after attending crisis team feeling suicudal, my wife decides she can not support me, I am shocked and saddened when I need my wife, frieind of 30 years to abandone me and start divorce proceedings.
I am registered disabled for Physical, Learning and mental health Disabilities, with DWP.
Since finding out that she has applied for a divorce, I am pannaking that she has the interest of the house sale more of a priority than my Disabilities.
I have requested that I will not be forced out of my home until I have found somewhere else to live.
She initally said " I don't want to lose the sale if a couple make an offer for our house and we will cross that bridge when we get there" That sent me into pannic mode.
I do know one thing which is my wife has already made her intentions very clear.
To say that this has not helped my current thoughts of self harm any easier, i went to see my brilliant GP who noticed I had lost weight, I have lost 28 pounds, 2 stone due to current situation. sleeping for 24 hours straight, not eating.
You are a member of our community and we appreciate you. If you are having thoughts of suicide, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help. Please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at [email protected]. You might also benefit from reading MIND’s information on how you can help yourself.
If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.
Did you manage to speak to Citizens Advice like you were considering before? Alternatively, you could contact the Scope helpline team at 0808 800 3333 (free) if you'd like to speak to somebody over the phone. You're doing the right thing by reaching out for help. Please do keep us updated and we'll advise where we can.
I have emailed your Team.
I am about to self refer to my council for Adult safeguarding due to my physical, learning and mental Health disabilities, I have no alternative and feel awful!
My wife has stated to me, reasson for doing so is self preservation.
I now realise I have to do the same.
Thanks
Kind regards J
I'm also going through a divorce after 31 years of being together, Circumstance are similar I have requested a divorce because he left me and just decided that working away was better for him than bothering with me.anyway. I want to sell the house but cannot without his permission, my solicitor says he has agreed to this but I have not seen anything in writing and until I do I will not do anything towards selling the house, just in case I end up in trouble and have to give him more money. I am disabled and he owns 2 houses but as he works away and lives in hotels he can be classed as homeless. He also has hundreds of thousands in the bank and has not disclosed this on the forms and I am not allowed to say that I know about his money - which is stupid. I recently have lost my mother to cancer and have started a new drug which will not cure one of my disabilities which is a very rare disease which is fatal but the new drug is supposed to help. I fully understand how you feel and know that you feel worthless and utterly down with life. When I feel like this which is often I have a rule that I will look around the room I am in and decide to live for that day for a particular item or object in the room. I do this with the idea that the object I am living for cannot go out side, cannot feel the wind on its skin or feel my kittens fur or hear their purr but I CAN. If I can do the simplest of things today then I will take the joy from doing that and that little thing makes me live for another day. Probably sounds stupid to others but I hope it helps you in some way.
Don't give up.
Get a solicitor and make sure you have your rights protected and look after the most important person in the world and that is you.
Good luck.