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Hi, my name is 786shabnam!

786shabnam Community member Posts: 7 Listener
This is my first time with this charity.  I am an high functioning autistic diagnosed in April 2015; my diagnosis was too late given my age.  with a considerable amount of damage done to my relationship with others due to lack of understanding from others of my condition.  During my schooling a round my GCSE years; my parent thought a 2 month trip to Pakistan which, lasted 4 months and nearly cost me my place in school as well as my GCSEs; would alleviate the "problem".  Obviously it didn't and my problems persisted until my marriage.

I have been struggling with Personal Independent Payment since 29/12/2017 and have not been helped by my local community on this or any other issues such as social ones.  Due to this fact I have had to learn to be independent of "help" from others which; has had an adverse affect on most recently my Finances; social and family life as well as my professional life.

My disability has wrongfully been mistaken for "Depression", "Negative thinking", "Black and White thinking"; none autistic professionals and casual people alike have also tried to prove my disability to be a Cluster B personality disorder.  The reality couldn't be further from the truth; I actually could have PTSD/ComplexPTSD coupled with my autistic condition.  This has not been properly explored to date and; I am having to complain through Citizen Advice.

As a result of the ignorance shown by my community over the years I have struggled with social life, school life, college life and university and, quite recently my marriage with serious consequences and; my Long distance learning course with The Open University.  I should have got my part-time degree in 2012 but because of extreme marital issues, due to my spouse's lack of understanding for my autistic condition and, lack of commitment to our marriage, including Social Services involvement, this has been delayed time and again; with my studies being placed on restriction at least 3 occasions between 2012 and 2018 although, I have currently been given a life line, I am under pressure to successfully complete a level 2 module; with The Open University in order to complete my degree with them.

Family members have casually and mockingly made comments like "you can't drive" and "Why don't you find a job?" not realising how difficult this has become for me with other people's attitudes coupled with the Autism itself.  my parent suggested tonight that I keep quite about my condition and, not tell every one because those who do understand the condition my not necessarily understand me and; will use my condition to create more problems for me.

I have a daughter who may be like me but since her birth; no body has helped her my family treat the term "Autism" the way the term "leprosy" is treated.

Please could you assist me with the issues I have raised tonight?

Thank you.


  • steve51
    steve51 Community member Posts: 7,153 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @786shabnam

    Good Morning it’s great to meet you today.

    We have got lots of info & advice for you on here.

    Please please let me know how I can help you further???????
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community member Posts: 7,944 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @78shabnam welcome to the community!

    I am terribly sorry for what you have gone through, I can only imagine what emotions you have experienced over the years.

    Are you currently receiving any emotional support?
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • 786shabnam
    786shabnam Community member Posts: 7 Listener

    No I am not hence the possibility of PTSD/ComplexPTSD  "friends and family" just expect me to move on as though nothing has happened are in total denial of their treatment of me.  I would say over the years I have been the target of narcissistic abuse and still am.  Things around my children have been made increasingly difficult with my Solicitors being inactive in my case and child social services expecting me to get on with the relatives they are with.  My girl is being treated in the same fashion as I was when I was a girl.  The extended family will not work with me to get her a diagnosis.

    The only support I have at the moment is support workers who I pay.  the family changes its persona in front of them; especially my sister in law. 

  • 786shabnam
    786shabnam Community member Posts: 7 Listener
    The best advice I have been given by "Family & friends" and child social services is to move out of the area... my children live in the area.
  • Liam_Alumni
    Liam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 1,101 Pioneering
    edited October 2018
    Hi @786shabnam,

    Welcome to Scope's online community! It's great to have you on board.

    I'm sorry to hear about the problems you've been having - it sounds like a really tough time for you.

    Have you considered contacting our helpline? They're free to call on 0808 800 3333 or by emailing

    You also mention struggling with PIP. Is there anything we can help you with? There's lots of information about Personal Independence Payments on our website which you might find useful.

    I hope this helps. Do let us know if you have any other questions!
  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Community member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome and nice to meet you here
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