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Help my daughter wont stay asleep

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  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Community member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    my daughter is 11 and has Asd. In mainstream school with echp. She takes melatonin. On a good night will sleep from 10-7. (This might happen twice a week on a good week).
    a normal sleep would be 11-6 this I can cope with.

    often will go to sleep and wake two hours later, (sometimes with a night terror), will then keep me awake also for at least two hours sometimes the rest of the night. I might get 1 -4 hours sleep. This is okay once to twice a week but I am struggling if it is more.

    sometimes she cant sleep even with meds and falls to sleep about 2am. Again i am getting 1-4 hours a night.

    somenights keeps me awake all night. When i am woken more than twice i cant go back to sleep.

    if she wakes up she expects me to wake up and will shout until i go in to her. I have said she needs to go into me, she is not a toddler, but all she can think of and see are her own needs, probably due to the asd. I stay calm and reassure her but inside I am crying because I am so tired. I also encourage her to settle down and sleep and say that resting quietly is better than being wide awake and disturbing everyone including the neighbours. (She does not care if she disturbs others she thinks why should they sleep if she cant).

    She has ecezma we have cream this can disturb sleep. Recently she has been suffering from thrush. I went to chemist and bought cream appropriate. Then we went to dr. We have cream same as i got in chemist plus different ecezma stuff.  She will not put cream on herself ecezma cream or other cream. ( she will never put cream on self i do not just mean recently). Needs me to do it, will scream for cream every half hour. Expects me to come immediately even if I am in deep sleep. Swears and yells and is physically agressive to me. 
    By the time I have calmed her down i am wide awake. Twice a week i have work the next day, i am finding it hard to concentrate at work as so tired. In last 7 days alone I have had less than 4 hours sleep for five nights.

    not to mention she is challenging through the day.

    i have cut her nails short also.

    has anyone any tips on helping her sleep or help us manage the situation.

    Are you getting any other support at home? 
  • ineedsleep
    ineedsleep Community member Posts: 7 Connected
    Hi thank you for your support. My mum has undiagnosed dementia and on waiting list for hospital appointment for this after having an initial head scan which suggested moderate memory loss. I can go to her house, I sometimes go for a cup of tea. When we visit, my mum can not cope with my daughter for long and my daughter can not cope with my mums memory issues for long.
    I dont like leaving my daughter with h as he can not cope with her behaviour. He is not keen to have her on his own either. So no respite there unless he takes her to his extended family for the day as that is greater support for them both and doable. He does this about four - six times a year.
    H is on annual leave until after Christmas which is putting more pressure on everything. 
    We managed to be out for four hours today which helped a bit.
    I did look at some of the ideas and some I have tried in the past.
    My daughter woke me three times last night because she could not sleep and thought I should be awake to.
    This evening h lost his temper with me and d and I feel unsettled, d is asleep but I feel awake. 
    I do have some friends. But they have busy lives. I sometimes see them individually for a coffee. I sometimes text them. But I dont want to be that annoying friend who always moans about her life. And constantly moans about sleeping on the floor. 
    I feel upset tonight because of h. Also D was challenging and very rude and controlling today. Her behaviour is always worse in build up to Christmas. And hopefully will improve a bit later in the week.
    Thank you for letting me just get things off my chest here.




  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Courageous
    edited March 2019
    Hi @ineedsleep

    I hope things have gotten better at home and with your daughters sleep pattern.

    I wondered if this may be of interest to you. Scope have recently launched a new service called Navigate. Navigate provides a six week programme of online and telephone support to parents who have a child on the pathway for diagnosis or have a child who has recently been diagnosed with a disability (within 12 months). The aim is to provide parents of a child with a disability with emotional and practical support and help them navigate these early stages. It also gives parents a chance to talk through things in a safe space.

    If you think this may be something that could benefit you please visit https://www.scope.org.uk/family-services/navigate or call 0808 801 0510

    Best Wishes.

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