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I'm depressed so I guess the category applies

Myheartissore Community member Posts: 1 Listener
I'm only typing this message because I have no real person to talk to in real life. I have to keep this to myself. I'm not looking for help or advice just to try and get some of what I've kept inside out to try and ease the burden. This is selfishly motivated.   

So this is my confession. I was recently a Support worker, I made the mistake and wrong choice of falling in love with the person I was supporting. I left before I ran the risk of acting on my feelings and telling him exactly how I feel about him. It just hurts that I'll never see him again, never know if he's okay, how he's doing. Also something else that has broken my heart is that I've read that his life expectancy is short. People with autism have a average life expectancy of 40 even less if they have additional disabilities which he does having a sight impairment on top of that. 

He's the kindest, loveliest, sweetest person I've ever known and it feels like I've lost him forever. It hurts knowing that what I want will never be. I know I did the right thing and I keep telling myself that but it doesn't help take the pain away. 


  • cathie
    cathie Community member Posts: 143 Courageous
    Ahh touched me ;but could be different way to look at this you were in right place right time you may have made all the difference to this man; at the cost of your own pain but can't help thinking you must be a special kinda soul to start with a vessel to help others; hence your role you worked at for years maybe some of us are just born to help others and constantly put our self;s last time and time again: sorry if this upset s u never my intension only I'm always a vessel for other even at my own cost not always fair but always ends that way.....
    Only me .. cathie..
  • cathie
    cathie Community member Posts: 143 Courageous
    Always help s to remove yourself for few hours mates  drink talk movie coffee ect ect 
    Only me .. cathie..
  • Pippa_Alumni
    Pippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,793 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Myheartissore, and a warm welcome to the community.

    Thank you for opening up and sharing this with us, and I'm truly sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time and that you're suffering.

    I hope at the very least, you find this community a safe and supportive place to share your feelings among those who are here to listen. If we can be of any assistance, please do let us know.
  • Oakwellreject
    Oakwellreject Community member Posts: 7 Listener
    Such a pity you haven't anyone in your life you can share your feelings with.It looks like you are going through such a heartbreaking time .Maybe through coming on here and letting it out it minght ease the pain a little .I would suggest getting in touch with a free counseling service such as " Talking therapies " I do understand when your feeling low it's difficult to seek help .We are always here to listen take care 
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    edited January 2019
    Hello @Myheartissore Please can I thank you for sharing with the community.

    You have done nothing wrong . This happens.

    That you are spending much time with this person. 

    Attraction does sometimes occur then the situation becomes so difficult to deal with.

    Understand that since myself being ill and finding I am in need of a support worker.

    Usually from a mental health charity. .

    I am appreciative  of all their support. Main problem is you form a bond. Not a friendship but an understanding. 

    Need to say in my case many are ladies. Some from University, first time been and have helped some one with mental health .

    This is something you are aware of and a lot of it is down to the specific requirement of the mental health charity or company or who ever you have been employed with.

    Have to understand a lot of this is training how you deal with the situation you are in.

    My main concern is you and you have and still wish to work in Mental health or other support work.

    Understand the pain and words are not easy to say to some one in this difficult situation.  Words of compassion never easy to discuss.

    May I add one final point do know that if you did take it further with person.

    The outcome could be damaging to yourself and your career.  As I know from certain procedures and rules from the mental health sector.

    Hope this does help you talking about this situation.

    Wish you success with everything you do.

    Always here anytime to listen.

    Take care.


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