Today's post discusses adult themes around sex, **** and sex toys. Please be aware that this may not be the post for you if you are sensitive to these issues. I’m the COO of a **** company, dream job, right? As part
of my work I not only get to help make (and test!) new sex toys, I also get to
join in with conversations about sex on a daily basis. There’s plenty of fun in
it, but there’s also one thing that never fails to frustrate me: as a society,
we are woefully bad at discussing sex.
Sex, like disability, is a topic that many people shy away
from out of a vague sense of awkwardness. Our company, Hot Octopuss has been
running a campaign called Sex not Stigma for the last few years – encouraging people
to talk about sexual topics that are often stigmatised or just plain ignored like
the idea that older people don’t have sex – as if somehow sexual pleasure has a
best before date! Or that disabled people can’t or don’t want to have sex, which
readers of this post will know is not only false but deeply harmful and dehumanising.
Then there’s the idea that sex toys and **** are somehow shameful – as if
**** isn’t a fun activity that lots of us want to do regularly.
So how do we change the conversation? How can we get more
people exploring their bodies, talking openly about sex, and help bring the
topic out of the awkward shadows?
Better sex education
that highlights the fact that every body is different
We’ve been shouting this from the rooftops for a long time,
young people – and adults who often missed out on good sex education at school –
need information that isn’t based on hetero-normative and body normative ideas,
but which is rooted in the understanding that every body is different, what gives
you pleasure might not work for me and vice versa.
Sometimes our bodies work differently because of age,
disability, sexuality or personal desire. Sometimes just because we have different
kinks and quirks. At the moment sex advice too often assumes that everyone is
having penetrative sex, and getting broadly the same pleasure from it. But
people have different – and often complex- sexual needs. We need to encourage
people to explore their bodies – on their own and with their partners – to understand
what works for them.
Good sex education should be centred in consent and desire.
Focused on teaching people firstly to understand their own needs and then how
to communicate with their partners so their sexual experiences come from a place
of mutual understanding and consent.
Accessible sex toys,
which aren’t stigmatised as ‘dirty’ or secret, but seen as tools to enhance the
sexual experience
We live in an extraordinary time, the **** industry is
growing at a huge pace, and thanks to the internet it is much easier to
research and buy sex toys that meet your individual needs. But sex toys are
often still seen as ‘dirty little secrets’ when in reality for many they are
the the best – or only – way to access sexual pleasure.
At Hot Octopuss, our first ever **** – PULSE – was created
off the back of technology designed to help men with spinal cord injuries
ejaculate. The original tech was designed for the purpose of IVF and as a
result it was quite medical looking and not accessible to the average ****
buyer. But with a bit of R&D and a lot of tweaking and testing we managed
to create something that was affordable and accessible for people to use in their
bedrooms.
Unlike most toys designed for penises, it can be used flaccid
or erect and it can be used to have a hands-free **** even if your manual dexterity
isn’t up to gripping some of the standard masturbators on the market. Far from
being naughty or dirty, for those who may not be able to get erections or
**** any other way, this **** can be genuinely life changing.
"My buddy showed me how the PULSEIII SOLO works. The stimulation increased my erection and after about 15 minutes of play I began to feel this intense headrush and felt flushed and aroused like I used to before my injury and experienced an orgasmic feeling. It was a full body high. You guys GET paralysed men!"
A testimonial from a customer called Jon who is a paraplegic
We are not the only ones creating accessible sex toys – companies
like Liberator make incredible sexual positioning equipment which makes it
possible to have more comfortable sex in different positions no matter how
mobile or flexible you are.
And thanks to ‘smart’ sex toys which can be controlled via
apps on your phone, many companies are now experimenting with things like
gesture and voice control, making vibrators and other **** tools
accessible to even more people.
As a **** manufacturer, we know better than most that any
given **** won’t work for everyone, but thanks to technology were able to
create sex toys that can help people experience sexual pleasure where
previously, they had been sidelined or ignored. Combined with sex education
that focuses on the individual needs, sex toys can be the tools we use to help
more people learn what works for them.
Help us tackle sex
stigma – join the conversation
The fact is, although we are getting better at talking about
sex, the topic is still shrouded in awkwardness and stigma. I firmly believe
that the way to battle this is to be more open about it – we need sex education
that moves us away from the idea that there is a right way or a wrong way to
have sex, and that recognises that every body responds differently to different
types of sexual pleasure. And then we need to use all that new knowledge and
technology to create sex toys that meet a range of needs.
We would love to hear from you, you can comment below and if
you’re interested in writing about your own experiences on our blog – or maybe
trying out some of our sex toys to see if they work for you, we’d love to hear
from you.
Discussing our own experiences, sharing other people’s
experiences, and spreading the word that not only should we not be ashamed of
sex, we should shout about it!
