Disability has knocked my confidence — Scope | Disability forum
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Disability has knocked my confidence

gypsygee
gypsygee Member Posts: 5 Connected
Hello everyone.
I suffer from fibromyalgia, diverticular and I work my life with 1 eye which has knocked my confidence but spend my life pretending there is nothing wrong with me as I used to sparkle and people have said " you have lost your sparkle" and I dont want to lose it 

Comments

  • Antonia_Alumni
    Antonia_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 1,781 Pioneering
    Hi @gypsygee welcome to the community. I am sorry to hear this, I am sure you still have the sparkle in you. Please let us know if you have any questions :)
  • gypsygee
    gypsygee Member Posts: 5 Connected
    I was wondering if other people spend their life pretending there is nothing wrong with rhem
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,676 Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome to the community @gypsygee and I am sorry to hear you are struggling. It can be difficult coming to terms with life with an impairment and so many people do feel that it affects their confidence.

    Do you have anyone you can talk to about these feelings? It can really help to open up to friends or loved ones,
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • gypsygee
    gypsygee Member Posts: 5 Connected
    No I don't as everyone has known me for so long they presume I am ok. But the thing is I don't like talking about it as I don't like to be a moaner so I pretend I am ok.
    I am finding it hard to accept that I am half the woman I used to be I guess.

  • Antonia_Alumni
    Antonia_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 1,781 Pioneering
    Hi @gypsygee some people may feel like pretending nothing is wrong with them, helps them deal with their situation, as coping mechanism.  But it's better to face it and try to adapt it with the right support. Have you been in touch with your GP or local council to see if there's any support they can offer?
  • CockneyRebel
    CockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,216 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @gypsygee and welcome

    Pretending there is nothing wrong with you and just getting on with it is the best way I have found to cope. Of course I usually get bit on the bum and return to earth with a bump but I soon get up again and do lots of things that I shouldn't do. I can't and won't give in to this inconvenience as they say "keep calm and carry on "
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • Deb1
    Deb1 Member Posts: 1 Connected
    I find it so hard living with this M.S. I was so active before, I can only walk a few steps, then I lose my balance, I use a wheelchair when I go outdoors, it's really knocked out my confidence, I have had this for over 3 years now, Thanks for listening......
  • Waylay
    Waylay Member Posts: 971 Pioneering
    You're not half the woman you used to be! You're the same woman, but living differently. :)
  • gypsygee
    gypsygee Member Posts: 5 Connected
    Thank you so much for replying . I am glad I am not the only one who pretends to be ok. @Cockney Rebel xxxx
    Thankyou @Waylay for putting it like that xx
  • Waylay
    Waylay Member Posts: 971 Pioneering
    @gypsygee I often used to think of my current self as "so much less than" my former self. I still do it occasionally, but I'm much better at noticing the thought and gently telling myself something else. Something like, "Former us could do a bunch of things that current us can't do anymore, but that doesn't mean that current us is deficient, or pathetic, or any of those other hurtful words that pop into our head sometimes. It just means that we need to do those things differently now, or we need to do different things. A lot of those things made life easier, or were lots of fun, or both, so it's totally OK to be sad about it, or angry! However, don't turn the sadness or anger on US. It wasn't our choice. Another thing: To go from former us to current us, we've had to get through a lot of difficult stuff and make a lot of big changes, but we did it - we're still doing it! We're still strong, inventive, and adaptable, just in new and different ways. We're pretty f'ing amazing!"

    I actually wrote this to myself on a bad day in 2017. Still helps. Maybe writing something like it would help you?

  • gypsygee
    gypsygee Member Posts: 5 Connected
    @Waylay.
    Fantastic. Thankyou
  • LaughingLolly
    LaughingLolly Member Posts: 100 Pioneering
     :)You sound so much like me  :( It's a struggle but I came to a bad end after 20 years behaving like that. It's probably a good idea to build a relationship gradually with your GP 
    A laugh a day keeps the psychiatrist at bay. 

Brightness

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