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Sorry everyone

Sorry everyone,I was in meltdown mode yesterday, over night I've pulled myself together.you see I see CARL58 as a man with health issues,not the other way round Ike you see the mental health & disabilities then the man,in the past when he could get out the amount of ignorant people who would stare and the comments, what's she doing with a sap like him.etc & I'd put them straight & make them feel small and ashamed.the morale to this,is CARL58 can hear and somewhere inside him back then it registered,made him feel uncomfortable and ashamed of what he's become.often he will say to me he's aburden, I'll smile give him a cuddle and say your my burden I'm not going anywhere and we would have a good cry together.il leave you alone in peace going to give him a shave take care all jen
Replies
Disability Gamechanger - 2019
Hello @CARL58 Please do not apologise. This is your friend.
The problem is what you described perfectly no one will work together all the agencies and organisations to try to give him time to heal and recovery.
I did add in a previous post the organisation I used. Sorry forgot to include this.
https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk.
What this is a mental health charity. They do accept people with a range of issues and problems.
I know they will look at how they can help and advise his own particular needs. They offer floating support and outreach workers.
Also looking at benefits and wellbeing. Can attend assessments. Look at additional signposting, guidance anything else related.
Within the organisation or outside.
In my case advised my own benefit situation . Got a lot of help with that.
I for example need long term therapy and counselling this they provided. With a support worker for anything else to help through every thing.
Took me two years. The added useful information and advice to my addiction history. If I needed to speak some one.
They can offer that support.
Hopes that helps. Please give that a try. Wish you well.
Please if I can help with anything else.
Be happy to do so.
There is help out there but it has to be the right help. Also what does Carl want and require, need right now.
I want to give you reassurance and confidence that he will get help.
Pleasure to meet you.
Take care.
@thespiceman
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
Hello @CARL58 Jen thank you for reply. Understand everything you are going through as well as him.
What is important that we can help you much as we can. Give this space here to chat and ask any questions.
You are a valued friend to him. You have done enough. Please be proud of all your achievements.
Please can I also say it is small steps every day is doing that.
There are good people out there to help and guide, advise.
Wish you well and please keep in touch.
Take care.
@thespiceman
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
Hello @CARL58 Jen thank you for letting me know. One of the things about PIP.
You have done and given a lot of information about his background and history.
I think that is only thing to do make the case.
If you can . I know this might be useful in getting the much deserved benefit,
I would add if you can speak to the charity I recommended they will advise the benefit situation with Carl.
Also give some ideas of support, and guidance regarding the whole picture of his issues and problems.
Here hoping to a positive outcome.
Speak soon anytime.
Take care.
@thespiceman
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
Hello @CARL58 Jen thank you for your reply.
Please do not apologise for doing anything wrong here you have not.
Understand this needs to be disclosed. The problems and issues are deep and scars need time to heal.
My anxiety and concern is that he does need to say what is happening but if he does . With some one who is a professional counsellor who can identify the issues and problems with out causing harm mentally.
By accessing the right support .
Learnt a lot from the counsellors and support workers. They give you reasons why you are having these problems.
Use that knowledge for my own personal circumstances. You have coping methods and systems. It is done everything slowly and with any support.
So if you have any problems or issues need to cope you can deal with this.
Always learning, educating myself no one is perfect.
This is what happens when you have triggers and flashbacks.
Understand it is like small pieces of the mind to recall and remember. Anything can set them off.
Trauma and emotive becomes difficult to deal with. Anxiety plays a lot as the anguish and the sudden need .
How can I deal with this memory these triggers. Feeling guilty plays on your subconscious .
Hence my addiction history. The help and guidance to get through all of that.
The strength and courage from others. I think that is important hearing others stories and being supportive.
That may help him to talk with others like myself . He is not alone.
Only by meeting a support worker the pent up emotions and the hard realisation that I need to share. This was a relief. After two years of gentle therapy and time.
Lots of patience, tolerance and that was not easy . Having to endure and be honest , open about what was happening to me.
Can discuss this. Only now again some days get the issues and problems mentally.
This forum helped because it gave me an opportunity to discus certain emotive traumatic themes . That no one can and wishes to talk about.
Hope that helps you .
To give you some reassurance, confidence. You should be proud of what you are. A very special friend.
Always here. To be supportive, ready to listen.
Anytime.
@thespiceman
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
Senior online community officer