Dark days — Scope | Disability forum
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Dark days

Topkitten
Topkitten Member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
What is life when the days are dark
When the light's shut out, not even a spark
Of hope gets through and the mind is numb
When life gets squashed between finger and thumb
Is there an answer in how to go on?

The pressure from others and the help not given
Just clouds the mind over and no cloud is riven
By a light shining through and a friendly smile
Just another day to survive for a while
How to survive when life weighs a ton?

Some say there is help always around
And a lucky few always have the sound
Of people to help or parents to show
That there is a life and so they can glow
For some there's an answer in how to go on?

Help though is there for the lucky few
And the rest suffer much and simply chew
On the fact that there is no light in the dark
And hope isn't there, chilling and stark
How to survive when the dark weighs a ton?

Is dark all there is? Is a constant cry
As day after day trudges longingly by
And survival is all that the doctors suggest
And from despair by the ton there is no rest
Why go on?

TK
"I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.

Comments

  • susan48
    susan48 Member Posts: 2,222 Disability Gamechanger
    Why go on?

    i ask myself that question every day
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,682 Disability Gamechanger
    If anyone is struggling, then you can speak to the Samaritans at any time.116 123 and they are open 24 hours a day.
    There are also some other ways to get in touch with the Samaritans here. They say:

    We're here to listen, no judgement, no pressure, and help you work through what's on your mind. We'll never tell you what to do.
    If you need advice or specialist support for a specific issue, such as a bereavement or domestic abuse, we've put together a list of specialist organisations, including their contact details, which you may find helpful.


    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    @Sam_Scope, I understand your reasons for posting that but it's not helpful. Therapy is useful for highlighting problems you haven't thought of and finding a route to help and The Samaritans can do this also. What they cannot do is help in any way beyond talking / listening. In their charter it states they must not try to help or record any details whatsoever. For myself (and I suspect many others) talking cannot highlight anything new as I have been through every possible option and consequently just talking about it depresses me more than ever. Suffering constant Suicidal Tendencies, the absolute worst thing that can happen to me is to become more depressed. Only last night a problem pushed me into trying again to end things.

    I have been waiting since January for Mental Health to "allocate" someone to me but I wasn't informed of this until a week ago when I contacted the Crisis Line just before walking into traffic. It helped but the 'not bothering to tell me' hurt and depressed me, luckily I didn't go through with it. Today's new problems leave me teetering on the edge again because nothing is ever simple. For example.... I just had to fill in an online form to move and there was a question I couldn't answer properly and when I rang for help was told they were all out training despite having spoken to them less than 15 minutes previously. Fyi the question was a choose one from 4 options with the options of permanent wheelchair user, level floor shower, ground floor (cannot cope with stairs) and finally none of the above. I should be a 90% wheelchair user but must have a level shower and be on the ground floor. I've had to put full time wheelchair because it was the best fit for a question set by someone with absolutely no idea what disability can be.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.

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