ADHD and ODD in a 16 yr old male — Scope | Disability forum
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ADHD and ODD in a 16 yr old male

Lozzy
Lozzy Member Posts: 4 Listener
Are there any other parents who have had to cope with this condition with their children, any pointers, helpful and informative places.  My second attempt to CAMS said not enough evidence didn't even see my child.  Waited a six months for that. At my wit's end as I have M.E/ fibromyalgia.  

Comments

  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Member Posts: 28,356 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi,

    Has your son/daughter been diagnosed with these or are they saying there's not enough to do an assessment for a diagnosis?
  • Lozzy
    Lozzy Member Posts: 4 Listener
    No he hasn't been diagnosed with these they are saying not enough to do an assessment.  We have asked them to reconsider. 
  • FrancesStar48
    FrancesStar48 Member Posts: 5 Listener
    Hi Lazzy, my daughter was seen by CAMHS in 2015 after a traumatic meltdown, which resulted in me taking her to A&E. They did not believe my girl had Aspergers or ADD, which I was certain she had. At this point she was 16, like your son. The waiting list at this time for an assessment was 18 months and they leave CAMHS at 18. 
     I paid for an independent psychiatric assessment who confirmed ASD and ADD. She had a few sessions thereafter at CAMHS. I strongly believe a diagnosis before 18 is important. I paid with my credit card but it was worth every penny as it opened many doors, which are closed unless you have an official diagnosis.

  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,557 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Lozzy, how are you getting on with this?

    Thank you for taking the time to share this with us @FrancesStar48 and welcome to the community! I'm sorry to hear it got to that point for your daughter to receive her diagnosis. How is she doing at the moment? Please do let us know if we can do anything to help :)
    Scope

  • FrancesStar48
    FrancesStar48 Member Posts: 5 Listener
    Hi Chloe, thank you for asking. I’m not doing terribly well! My daughter is now 21 and was mainstreamed at school/college (although she could not cope and quit her A Level course after becoming embroiled in risky behaviour to help her social anxiety). The problem now is she does not wish to engage in support as she feels she doesn’t need it. She Does! She has been involved in “friends” with criminal records and has been warned to steer clear however she has taken to lying to me but is terrible at it, so I know she has been seeing them. I wonder if she is a victim of mate crime. All trust has gone and I feel I feel like a caged as I’m too frightened to leave her alone! This has been the same for the last four years, good bits and bad.
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,552

    Scope community team

    Hi @FrancesStar48. I'm very sorry to hear this. You must be so worried. If you're concerned your daughter might be the victim of mate crime, ARC have a guide as to what it might help to look out for here.
    Community Manager
    Scope

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  • FrancesStar48
    FrancesStar48 Member Posts: 5 Listener
    Thanks Adrian, this is extremely helpful. I have followed its advice and reported it to the police, however the officer said there is little he can do. Distraught. My daughter wants freedom but it’s being abused and she’s angry with me for keeping her home!
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,557 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @FrancesStar48, I'm so sorry to hear the police were unable to do anything. I cannot imagine how frustrating this is! Did they advise anything at all? I hope the advice provided by Adrian helps.
    Scope

  • FrancesStar48
    FrancesStar48 Member Posts: 5 Listener
    No they just told me to keep my daughter away from this crowd. Flo is 21. She doesn’t accept she is vulnerable. At a loss. I have rung NAS for advice too. The message is Flo has to learn through experience but as a Mum how can I embrace that if I know she could be abused/hurt/get involved in high risk activity. I just want to cry but Flo cannot cope if I express emotions. So so sorry for my rant, I don’t know what to do. My life is so so small now. 
  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,868 Connected
    Mate Crime frustrates me. My little sister didn’t want me to report it but she has a moderate learning disability so I calmly ignored her and spoke to someone today after calling my mom for advice. I have called my local council to report the carer. Have you called your local council or not?
    Don’t be frightened of reporting what technically is abuse. Can you move away? I know what you are feeling. Your local council has a vulnerable adult protection team. Contact them for support and advice. They will be able to advise you.
    This is not easy but hang in there. Don’t lose hope. This is a safeguarding issue. Keep records during the process as well. If you are going down this route obtain legal advice first. Can you afford to hire a lawyer with special needs experience?
    It is so hard to get help isn’t it? 
  • FrancesStar48
    FrancesStar48 Member Posts: 5 Listener
    April, thank you fort his information. I have phoned Adult Social Care 13 times since January 2019 and have yet to have my call returned, i will make some enquiries about a lawyer, although as yet she hasn’t done anything illegal that I’m aware of, but I would like to be more familiar with her rights. The more I read the more petrified I become, so many problems associated with ASC and I’m at a loss how to help her understand how the people she chooses to be with (I understand why she does, she doesn’t need to mask to pass) wil damage her. When I explain she understands intellectually but not emotionally. I am so sorry to hear you sisters carer was dishonest. I can’t believe it. So awful for you and your sister. What has happened now?
  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,868 Connected
    My mom has had issues with her from January. Recently I thought the problem was fixed but I am wrong. She has been constantly bullied by a so called friend at her ballet class on Saturdays. She is not even six yet (she will be six in November) and the nasty bullies are already upsetting her. So now we are starting the process of finding another ballet teacher. The inept carer sits outside and doesn’t intervene because she is always on her phone or irritating someone else for no reason.
    So my mom is going to fire her tomorrow. 

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