As part of Carers Week, we're re-sharing this blog from @AdeleTaylor who spoke
to us about her experiences as a young carer and what she is up to now.
Hi
Adele, would you like to introduce yourself please?
Hi, my name is Adele (Adele-Caitlin) and I’m an eighteen-year-old disabled
young carer as well as an aspiring writer. All my life, I’ve seen writing as an
outlet for expressing emotion but also a way of raising awareness of young
carers and the different disabilities that affect my life. I recently began a
blog with the purpose of uplifting people with similar issues by showing the
bright-side of life with disabilities and caring roles.
How old were you when you became a young
carer and when did you realise you were one?
I was only 2 years old when my dad was diagnosed with the
rare brain condition called Intracranial Hypertension (IH). It wasn’t until I was 5
that I realised I was different; I assumed everyone’s Dad was ill, until I saw the
other children at school with theirs. I was being bullied for my caring role
and I asked my mum “why aren’t there any books to help young carers?” So, she
wrote ‘Caitlin’s Wish’, a children’s book explaining IH and young carers in a
magical way to make young carers feel less alone and to help other children
understand their role.
Since then, my Mum has been diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos
Syndrome; she was always ill, but still had to be the main carer for my Dad. My
brother has a form of Autism and Mental Health issues. I have Ehlers Danlos
Syndrome too and I’m also currently being tested for IH.
What
was your day to day like as a young carer?
Growing up, my brother and I felt different to other kids.
We couldn’t go out and do the family activities that most kids could, and we
became very quiet, due to my dad’s noise sensitivity, so mum made up fun but
silent games for us. Even though mum did the majority of caring, I had to
mature quickly, because I needed to help out from a young age, with things like
laundry, tidying, cleaning up and making snacks or hot drinks. Nowadays, I help
with cooking, cleaning, laundry, sorting out medications including morphine,
driving, emotional support and shopping.
How did you manage school, friendships and your wellbeing with your caring
role?
My parent’s health conditions could deteriorate quickly, so
I felt anxious to leave them and go to school. During school years, I was
managing my own bad health and trying to cope with my caring role, anxiety and
bullying. My brother was also going through a rough patch which
was putting a strain on the whole family. It felt impossible to concentrate,
let alone get out of bed in the morning due to lack of motivation, mental
energy and being ill myself. However, I found visiting friend’s houses helpful
as it gave me a break, although, seeing their families doing the usual
activities always upset me a bit.
Did
you ask for support from family, friends, a carer centre or support group?
We were lucky enough to have had support from the
Crossroads Carers for a while when mum needed surgery. They picked me up from
school, cooked and cared for dad, although this help isn’t available anymore
due to lack of funding.
I was also lucky enough to be a part of the SNPT Crossroads
Young Carer’s Project for 5 years. They gave us experiences that our disabled
families would have struggled to do. We always went on fun residential trips
and had a weekly club. But, when I moved further away in 2012, it became more
difficult to go and I didn’t have the health that I used to, so I had to focus
on school instead.
What
advice would you give to young carers?
I would tell them that there’s always support out there.
Whether it’s online groups, websites that
have a range of support and information or a local club. Also, it’s perfectly okay
to be different, nobody’s remembered for being the same, are they?
What
activities do you enjoy?
I’ve always enjoyed writing and art. I loved horse riding,
but it made me ill, so I stopped. I find expressing emotions in creative ways
is very therapeutic. Most of all, I really love to spend time with my family,
even if it’s just watching a film at home instead of going out.
What
are you up to now?
Now, I’m beginning a creative writing degree with the Open
University, so that I’m able to volunteer with the local young carer’s club and
maintain my caring role. Also, I’ll be able to rest while doing work to look
after my own health too.
Although some people assume Young Carers have limited
options, the support I’m getting to achieve my goals would prove otherwise!
Were
you a young carer or do you have a young carer caring for you? Please share your experiences below.
