I’ve just been diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Edlight19

Hey everyone, I’ve been suffering with my mental health (depression) on and off for years but always ‘managed’. However, after getting out of a serious abusive relationship that came to an end January 2018, I have been struggling daily with life in general. I’m no longer ‘living’, I just survive each day. 

I was diagnosed yesterday with complex PTSD, I feel like no one understands, the anxiety and lowness I feel is a living hell. The triggers are endless and I’m always sad and dazed. Does anyone else have or no anyone who is going through something similar? so I know it will at some point get easier to live with? I’m due to start Trauma CBT in a few weeks and I just hope with every ounce of my being that it helps me in some way. 

Any advice would be much appreciated, sorry for a pretty depressing and miserable first post.. I swear bubbly Emma is in there somewhere x

April2018mom

Are you seeing a therapist? If you live in Surrey the Mary Frances Trust can help. They run a variety of fun activities for people with mental health issues of all ages. Google them. 
If not, another option is Mind. They are the national MH charity for the UK. I recommend emailing them tomorrow. 

Edlight19

Thanks for your replies, I will have a therapist in a couple of weeks. I just need to have the assessment to see which form of treatment is better. Either CBT or another one that involves staring at a finger whilst you discuss trauma? Something on them lines anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m from Liverpool and I will email them tomorrow, because I feel like I’m climbing a serious uphill battle right now in the snow with zero equipment!  

What is a cpn Elsey66? How do you manage to cope with day to day life? I find it such a struggle. I had an overdose 2 weeks ago.. clearly unsuccessful. I don’t know how to deal with things when the emotion gets too much, it’s unbearable and I can’t describe what I’m feeling to anyone. I don’t understand sometimes how I haven’t exploded with the amount of chaos that’s going on in my little brain. 

April2018mom

Good luck! Do you have a notebook or not? When my mom struggled with her mental health, she found keeping a notebook useful along with solitary walks and venting sessions. 

Edlight19

Ah ok, I’m with you sorry. Yes I do have one but never thought about writing anything down. That’s a really good idea. Not sure what to write but I’m sure it will come to me when I’m having a meltdown. Thanks for your help x

EmmaB

Hi @Edlight19

I'm sorry to hear that you are surviving rather than living but I hope that your diagnosis might now mean you can access some appropriate help and support.  I think it's positive that your cPTSD has been acknowledged as it frequently gets misdiagnosed, misinterpreted, and even overlooked.  It might feel more accurate to call it Post Traumatic Stress Reaction rather than Disorder - because it is a very normal, sane, survival reaction rather than a disorder...

I hope you find the trauma CBT helpful.  You will hear mixed stories about CBT so it can be helpful to see your recovery as a process which might necessitate doing several different things to move you closer and closer to living [rather than just surviving] again. 

Complex PTSD is well, complex!  So whilst CBT could well be useful you might need more than that depending on the origins and complexity of what has happened to you, so if you find it only helps a bit consider that one bit of the jigsaw put into place. 

There will also be other things you can do eg EMDR [eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing - a bit of a mouthful] is now an acknowledged treatment option for trauma and some trauma specialists are adamant that trauma can only be truly healed if you also do some work through the body [somatic therapy].  A pioneer in this field is Peter Levine who has written several interesting books about this and has videos on YouTube too. 

Another organisation you may find helpful is a small organisation set up by an amazing woman called Carolyn Spring who herself has cPTSD, she now runs courses all over the country for therapists and survivors [who are not at the beginning of their recovery journey]:  https://www.pods-online.org.uk/  and  https://www.carolynspring.com/  [lots of great blog posts].

I hope that is useful.  The fact that you have managed this far and that you are now striving to get your life back demonstrates that you are already a survivor and I really wish you well in regaining your life back. Peter Levine says: "Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence."   

Best wishes.

Emma

EmmaB

Hi @Edlight19 - when I posted my reply above your post about you getting CBT or staring at a finger therapy wasn't there - but I mention that in my post - it's EMDR - the fact that you have been told about it is a really good thing because it sounds like they are really acknowledging what's going on for you and making some positive treatment plans.
There's no quick fix for cPTSD but there are lots of things that can inch you towards recovery.
Best wishes.
Emma

Chloe_Scope

Hi @Edlight19 and a warm welcome to the community!

How are you doing today?

I understand that receiving a new diagnosis can feel very odd. But like others have said, this hopefully should now give you access to support. I hope you find the CBT helpful and please do keep us updated if you'd like

If there is anything else we can do to help then please do let us know!

Algaron

@Edlight19
Hello, you. I too have complex PTSD from childhood and only made it worse due to the work I did. It's taken me three years of treatment to feel I can have faith that a positive outcome is possible (though there were two attempts at suicide during that time).
Hang on. If the CBT you are given is especially for PTSD - it's very likely to make a positive improvement.

Adrian_Scope

Welcome to the community @Algaron and thanks so for contributing.