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Trigger Self harm and ending Life thoughts

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filly
filly Community member Posts: 32 Connected
Where to start as I'm feeling so overwhelmed ...
My partner of 4 yrs told me that he wanted to end our relationship and to get out of his house ...
I have no family or friends so he and our cats are my whole life.

I have borderline personality disorder dependancy, ptsd, and other issues,
I don't know what to do ?? thoughts of self-harm and ending everything!
He also has mental health problems.
He has also been out of hospital after a bye-pass operation which he blames me for. 


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Comments

  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,882 Disability Gamechanger
    edited August 2019
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    Welcome to the community!
    You can find more information on mental health here at https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/mental-health-services/
    Are you seeing a counseller or therapist? Ask for a referral to mental health services. What medication are you taking? 
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,152 Scope online community team
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    Hello @filly, I'm so sorry your relationship is having difficulties at the moment. It sounds like you're both under a lot of pressure. Has he been out of hospital very long?

    Can I ask where you're staying right now and does he own the house?

    Please remember you're not alone and we're here to support you. But if you are having thoughts of self-harm or suicide it's really important you speak to someone who's trained and equipped to help you. Have you thought about giving Samaritans a call (116 123) or emailing them (jo@samaritans.org)?
    Community Manager
    Scope
  • filly
    filly Community member Posts: 32 Connected
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    Yes, he owns the house. He's been out of the hospital about a week.
    I thought about the samaritans but they don't give any solutions ....

     
  • filly
    filly Community member Posts: 32 Connected
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    I'm just keeping out of his way, by being in the bedroom
  • filly
    filly Community member Posts: 32 Connected
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    Trying to get through the day .
    I have the cats with me upstairs ,they are trying to help me calm down

  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,152 Scope online community team
    edited August 2019
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    Hi @filly. It seems like your most immediate concern is somewhere to stay. I’ve had a look at Shelter and you can find out how to give them a call here - https://england.shelter.org.uk/get_help/helpline
    Alternatively, you could call our helpline (open until 8pm) on 0808 800 3333
    Obviously with him only having been out of hospital a week, I imagine there’s a bit of tension in the house anyway. Is it possible he’ll calm down and be open to discussion at all?
    Community Manager
    Scope
  • filly
    filly Community member Posts: 32 Connected
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    He will possibly calm down .
    I am keeping out of the way, by been upstairs. There is a lot of tension in the house, but keeping out of his way. Is giving him space ??
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,152 Scope online community team
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    Hi @filly, how are you doing this morning? Have you managed to talk to him and sort out a plan? 
    Community Manager
    Scope
  • filly
    filly Community member Posts: 32 Connected
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    I thought things were okish calming down ...
    Sadly he told me he doesn't want or love me just want me out of his life and home! 
    I am so frightened and scared ...
    I'm also scared of what I might do the urge to self-harm is looming ...
    Trying so hard to calm down 
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community member Posts: 7,944 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @filly I am really sorry to hear this. I may not know what to say or the advice to give you but I will listen to you. If you want to talk then we are here :)
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • filly
    filly Community member Posts: 32 Connected
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    Really struggling ...
    dreading everything. My mind won't stop racing panic mode
    I've been through hell in my life and I don't think  I could even start over my life for this last 4 yrs has been him.I am totally dependant on him for everything
  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,882 Disability Gamechanger
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    Please leave. You need to contact a divorce lawyer pronto. Ask the lawyer about divorce and sort out a plan for leaving him. Pack your bags and quietly and quickly leave without warning. 
  • filly
    filly Community member Posts: 32 Connected
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    I'm not married to him!
    Where do I go, no money and my cats are the only things thats stopping me taking my life at the moment.
    I don't have any friends or family
  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,882 Disability Gamechanger
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    Please visit this page for more information https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/mental-health-services/how-to-access-mental-health-services/
    Talk to your GP. Ask him about accessing mental health services. He/she will evaluate your circumstances and come up with a plan of action. Are you seeing a therapist or counseller or not? 
    Also have you called a domestic violence shelter for help? There are resources out there. Google them first to see what assistance and help can be given. Best of wishes!
    Do you have a job? 
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 11,817 Disability Gamechanger
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    Could it be that his recent heart surgery is affecting his judgement? I had open heart surgery 3 years ago a week after I buried my mum and my head was all over the place for ages afterwards. Luckily my OH was as ever my rock and i'm sorry for what you are going through
    2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡

  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community member Posts: 7,944 Disability Gamechanger
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    It is daunting to think of the future, the unknown. I know it's easier said than done but try to focus on the here and now. I agree with @woodbine staying in hospital for any period of time can cause distress, I stayed in hospital for 9 months and it's an ongoing battle coping with the after effects and flashbacks.

    Maybe your partner is feeling overwhelmed from it all, the surgery and mental health problems. Not an easy combination to conquer. Was your partner like this before his surgery?
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • filly
    filly Community member Posts: 32 Connected
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    He had his moments, but nothing like this!
    Most of the time was good between us.
    No, I don't have a job. I have panic attacks, nearly impossible leaving the house without him,. if I need to leave the house he or his mum takes me.  I'm totally dependant on him.
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community member Posts: 7,944 Disability Gamechanger
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    Have you spoken to his mum to see what she thinks?
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • filly
    filly Community member Posts: 32 Connected
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    Yes
    I have spoken to his mum. Keep out of his way , maybe he will calm down ???
    If not what are you going to do ? 
    She is taking him to A+E when he gets up ,as he's in so much pain . I am also worried about him ....
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community member Posts: 7,944 Disability Gamechanger
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    Pain can do many things to our bodies, as I'm sure you're already aware. I'm glad hes going to be checked over, hope they can give him something to ease the pain. 
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
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