Worried here in my mind

We want to hear from you: please tell us about your experience of the online community.

sam12

Don't know what to do. Keep getting urged to self harm but am trying not to about this support worker she scary 

Sam_Alumni

Hi @sam12
It is good you are fighting the urge to self harm, I know this is an on-going issue for you and so I hope you can continue to get the support you need.

MIND say:

During intense urges to hurt yourself, it can be hard to imagine that it's possible to do anything else.

But there are steps you can take to help you make other choices over time.

Distracting yourself from the urge to self-harm

The main way people help themselves when they want to self-harm is through distraction.

Different distractions work for different people, and the same distraction won't necessarily work for you every time. For example, distracting yourself from anger feels very different to distracting yourself from fear, so it's important that you have a few different strategies to choose from.

The following are simply suggestions. See if you can write your own table of distractions that you've found helpful or that you would like to try out.

Feelings	Possible distractions
anger and frustration	exercise hit cushions shout and dance shake bite on bunched up material tear something up into hundreds of pieces go for a run Expressing your anger physically, or by doing things like shouting, won't work for everyone and could intensify feelings. Try things out and continue with any that have a positive effect.
sadness and fear	wrap a blanket around you spend time with an animal walk in nature let yourself cry or sleep listen to soothing music tell someone how you feel massage your hands lie in a comfortable position and breathe in – then breathe out slowly, making your out-breath longer than your in-breath. Repeat until you feel more relaxed. (See our pages on relaxation).
need to control	write lists tidy up have a throw-out write a letter saying everything you are feeling, then tear it up weed a garden clench then relax all your muscles
numb and disconnected	flick elastic bands on your wrists hold ice cubes smell something with strong odour have a very cold shower
shame	stop spending time with anyone who treats you unkindly recognise when you are trying to be perfect and accept that making mistakes is part of being human remind yourself that there are reasons for how you behave – it is not because you are 'bad'
self-hatred – wanting to punish yourself	write a letter from the part of you that feels the self-hatred, then write back with as much compassion and acceptance as you can find creative ways to express the self-hatred, through writing songs or poetry, drawing, movement or singing do physical exercise (like running or going to the gym) to express the anger that is turned in on yourself