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So i got two job rejections today they are always the same I'm very sorry you were great but on this occasion you were unsuccessful I'm not going to lie I am so resentful towards people with a hidden disability as I feel employees will only  hire someone that looks normal and abled bodied and people like me can now get discriminated against further and they can get away with it. I literally have nothing to live for I wish I had the courage to end my life society just views me as a useless cripple I have worked for 5 years and all I can get is a zero hour contract I have become desensitized to work place harassment and putting up with people commenting on me for looking different it actually doesn't bother me any more I'm not sure if that's a positive thing or negative all I can get is a £17000.00 a year job a cripple can never be paid above minimum wage I have seen 30 year old abled bodied people who has never worked a single day in there life walk straight into a £21000.00 a year job how is that justice it doesn't matter how hard I work I'm a second class citizen I cannot have a family or partner like other people as I'm excluded from that I'm the person people look at and say they would rather be dead then look like me but I think I could live a happy life with just my job but I am denied that as well as I'm classed as  crippled and I should be living in a council flat on benefits with a volunteer job I shouldnt be in any education or paid employment 


  • Misscleo
    Misscleo Member Posts: 647 Pioneering
  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    Hello @AmesXOX

    Your post is so sad  :(
    Please keep posting on here for support and advice. 

    And If at all possible please try and get some real life help for the way you are feeling. 

    I sincerely hope that things get better for you really soon  <3
  • AmesXOX
    AmesXOX Member Posts: 16 Courageous
    Thanks I'm not normally like this I have never felt this hopeless I feel like I've completely cracked up I put up with so much over the years and nothing is getting any better I've worked so hard but it's always the same a smug non disabled person with barely any experience has been giving the opportunity I just found out that a volunteer was giving one of the positions I applied for I have 5 years experience in housing this is my point they will get you on anything I don't think I'm going to do anything stupid I wish I had the courage to take my own life or the uk government would just let people like me apply for assisted suicide if I was a Dutch citizen I'd be eligible for assisted suicide there is nothing here for me to live for I cant have a partner or family I cant have any kind of career I'm vulnerable to harassment in the work place and because I only have a zero hour contract and I temp I have to put up with it so all the jobs I can hold I have no rights as an employee 
  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering

    Have you talked to your GP about the way you are feeling? 

    Is there anything at all you can enjoy at the moment, even just watching TV ? Doesn't resolve the employment issue but anything to distract just at this awful time?

  • pollyanna1052
    pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 2,032 Disability Gamechanger
    what can I say? Your feelings of hopelessness may be worked through by having chat with your GP. Is he or she any good at listening?xx
  • AmesXOX
    AmesXOX Member Posts: 16 Courageous
    Yeah I probably should I haven't taken my sertraline for like 3 weeks which has maybe contributed to my melt down but allot of what I'm saying isn't in my head if I told people the stuff I've had to put up with over the years allot of people wouldn't believe me this is socially through work family friends I've pushed my self but I always feel that I'm always slightly below a non disabled person so it doesn't matter how hard I work or what I do a non disabled person Is always seen as more deserving of the kind of opportunities I'm trying to get it's a pretty impossible situation 
  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering

    Hi there, feeling any better at all this morning? Sincerely hope so . x
  • AmesXOX
    AmesXOX Member Posts: 16 Courageous
    Yeah I hate being the person  that posts stuff like this I'm normally a really strong person but I'm cracking up I went to a meetup today and it started really well but then eventually everyone start going off in couples like guys and girls and people started ignoring me that's usually my reality people will speak to me and once they find someone better they will eventually start to ignore me I guess that why I'm so resentful towards people with a hidden disability as they don't have to put up with stuff like this.

    Like 3 years ago I was so positive but I've been grinded down so much I use to be so positive but the reality of my situation  as hit me I'm not the kind of person  that shares my story if i had a good group of friends and a good job I could live the rest of my life single and happy but I'm excuded that a second class citizen I hate it I wish I had the same opportunities  as everyone else and I wasn't ignored and blanked 
  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering

    I'm just glad to hear that you managed to get out and about today even if it didn't go as well as you would have wanted. 

    It just goes to show how we can all get downers on ourselves for different reasons. 

    You because people started to ignore you and me because I couldn't even manage to get out.  All I wanted was to sit outside a cafe in the sunshine but couldn't make it.

    It's damned hard and unfair but I think we sometimes have to accept that we are going to get downers. 

    I couldn't even sit in my own garden today because it's too painful. Been in bed all day and I often am.

    What did you think about the idea of talking to your GP about feeling so low? 

    And when you do get like this do you usually bounce back again without help? eg. Meds? 
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    edited September 2019
    Hello @AmesXOX   Pleased to meet you .

    Thank you for your post. Sorry to hear what you are going through and how you are feeling.

    I want to say when we have things not go right for us. We get angry and annoyed, upset and become emotional.

    I do understand your feelings of frustration.  Trying to get some where because you have a disability, illness or condition .

    If you feel anger, hate and resentment.  I know all about that and have moved on they have the problems not you to give a lot of reassurance and confidence.

    Please if I can also say look at what you have.  Make a list of your skills, abilities, talents, qualifications.

    Is there anything there that is positive and gives you some thing to think about in an another area of employment.

    Make of list of questions to yourself. Do an evaluation, you should be asking what and how do I want from my life?  How can I achieve this given the path I need to follow. Are my friends real friends? Do I need to thinking about marriage, good home, children lifestyle choices where do they rank on a scale.?

    Make a plan you will succeed , so if you have the power, the control your life to do what ever you want.

    If you do not succeed in where you are move look at other areas. Your single be happy positive find other ways to cope and deal with what you have.

    I am in my middle fifties this the best time right now for me.  I have found there is a life I want but know much more to come, after so many knockbacks.

    I wanted to be a top executive in an office, have the qualifications got everything but walked over used by agencies, companies and much more over a long time..

    So used a lot of these qualifications to look at other areas I could use them.

    Charities and organisations related to my disability, illness.  Other avenues then if that did not work tried looking at health and well being qualifications.

    Over come many hurdles.  Including health ones and other aspects of my life that have caused me emotions, hurt and pain. I am still here surviving.

    My favourite saying if we put stones in our path, do we go over or around or stand still.

    Your ambitions every one has some if there not working the area of employment look else where.

    You mentioned five years in housing.  Look at other avenues of places that do housing. Charities, organisations, as I mentioned.

    I am going to put some links might be of use to you.


    This is my own Housing Association. There have various homes all over the country but also have a diversity policy.   Have apprentice schemes, looking for people to work for them as well.

    Please also may I add this organisation deals with members of our community finding employment.



    Is a mental health charity might be of use for you.  Also have there own employment advisors.   Also have their own housing and welfare. Worth a look.

    If you need to use them for any mental health issues. You may have.

    Might not be in all areas.

    I know you feel disheartened and very stressed, I know I have been their myself.

    I have a lot of experience, knowledge and qualifications. 

    It is finding the right path to follow, trust me  you be get there. Look at other opportunities how about volunteering?

    Always plenty of volunteers needed.  Contact your local volunteer bureau form you council.

    I know can be beneficial to your wellbeing.  Meeting new friends.  Also volunteering can lead to employment many of mine did just that.

    Please talk to some one if you are taking the medication you are on. Please discuss this with your Doctor.

    Understand medication can effect you mentally if you stop taking.

    I have just started my self on new medication does take a while to kick in.

    Please if you having suicidal thoughts please speak to some one.

    I know you never said will carry them out it is still a point I have to raise with you.

    Please call The Samaritans 116 123 .  There are professional people to talk to.

    Please if I can be supportive, please contact me happy to listen anytime.

    Wish you well.

    Take care.


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  • AmesXOX
    AmesXOX Member Posts: 16 Courageous
    Thanks for your message I'm getting on my own nerves because I am being pretty negative 

    Every time I see disability positive on an application that box does not apply to me I never disclose my disability on an application I would not get an interview if I did. 

    I've read cases of people with hidden disabilities having a heart attack and dying because they were told to go.back to work and people did not believe how unwell they were I don't want anyone thinking I am not acknowledging that but I'm discriminated socially because I look different and that issue is being swept under the carpet if they done social research into weather an interviewee was more likely to employ a visabilly disabled person  or a hidden disabled person it would be hidden I've actually been harassed in a work place by someone who  claimed to have a hidden disability I would never identify as having anything in common with someone that has a hidden disability as they are the reason why everything that I go through gets ignored I  do think to many people are identifying as disabled and people like me with very visabile conditions are suffering  the disability positive box is for people with less serious conditions that will identify as having a hidden disability it is not for someone like me 
  • AmesXOX
    AmesXOX Member Posts: 16 Courageous
    The UKs equality act was only introduced in 2010 before that people just said that disabled people are not treated any differently. I  was in an accident in 2008 which left me with irreversible physical disabilities and disfigurmebts I remember the staff telling me at hospital that society wasn't the one with the problem it's you it's normal to stare at a deformed person and ask questions why do you care what other people think about you the people who i thought were my friends told me while intoxicated they'd rather be dead then look like me. I don't think much has changed since 2010 if anything things are worse people are allot more shallow cosmetic surgery has become more affordable and minor imperfections has become less acceptable  the only difference is I've become completely de sensitized to discrimination I think if your disabled you have to toughen up and learn to stand up for your self your seen as an easy target so cowards will always try and bully you people invade your personal space constantly as they assume you need the help off your supperier able bodied masters you can't complain or get annoyed in a public space as you will look like un greatful cripple. If you attend a job interview you have a 99.9% chance of being rejected and it's almost impossible to prove unfavourable treatment if you do get a job you have a higher chance of getting bullied and it will be almost impossible to prove. People with hidden disabilities are being told there healthy enough to go back to work and are dying or there health will detriate I don't think anything has changed since this act has come out things have only got worse disabled people are being used as an escape goat by politicians claiming most disabled people are fit and healthy but are scrounging off the honest tax payer people will hate you just because your disabled learning and accepting that has actually made my life more bearable as things make allot more sense nowv and I can identify the traits in people allot sooner and only have the minimual amount of  contact with them as people that hate disabled people will instigate work place bullying or general bullying having little contact makes it difficult for them to target you. No one has ever told me this as apparently disabled people are not discriminated against and we choose to be half a citizen 
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,207 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm sorry you feel as you do, I would have to say that its not in the main politicians that have said nasty things about us but the right wing media, my disability is a hidden one and has been difficult to come to terms with but I have found that counselling helped me a lot.
    Be extra nice to new members.


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