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Divorce,disability,health and "fair?

Anybody else in the same,or similar position now or in the past, with being divorced,or in the process of getting divorced,and have a disability or have some sort of heath problems,and keep being told by solicitor or judges in court that everything is being done "fair"?
"Fair" seems to be a one sided expression for the cheater and courts to use if the cheater has cheated,but still wants to use the "legal" way to steal from the innocent party?
"Fair" seems to be a one sided expression for the cheater and courts to use if the cheater has cheated,but still wants to use the "legal" way to steal from the innocent party?
Replies
No point even thinking of the word 'cheat', because it has nothing to do with anything these days.....No-fault divorce means you split because staying together isn't acceptable to one, or both. It is irrelevant if one of them is a saint, or both are. Roughly, there is an assumption of a 50/50 division of assets.
The only reason disability could be introduced is if one has unavoidably exceptionally higher living costs, or an unfairly, unreasonably low opportunity to earn, or if one brought a lion's share of assets or income into the relationship, especially if it was short duration . Courts are disinclined to take up time on too much haggling and squabbling though, so pursuing it might be a waste of your energy and the legal fees.
If somebody cheats,then they should walk away with nothing! It's their choice to dissolve the relationship!
They cheat. Should not be "rewarded " for cheating"!
If you break wedding vows,then should not be allowed to steal from innocent party!
Unfortunately, in our age of diversity and "fairness" and "equality ", Men get screwed when divorce is concerned.
If he leaves his marriage, it makes no difference why. Maybe he found a girlfriend, or maybe he just wanted a change. He will get, usually, half of the matrimonial assets. So will she. The word 'cheat' has nothing to do with anything. The notion of 'wedding vows' has no place in no-fault law. Private behaviour was never and can never be controlled by either a churchman or a lawyer deciding what is 'allowed' and what should be 'punished'.
Things have moved on. Gaz you will hurt yourself if you cling to hatred and bitterness. You loved your wife, and had some good time with her. She gave you her time and love and attention and company. Its sad it came to an end, but cant you be grateful and look back fondly at the good times?
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved.
Did you see Rod Stewart with four wives, all remarried and all living nearby and best of friends?
That's the way to do it.
Her pension.. £18,000
She is legally allowed a third of mine.
But kept wanting wanted 50%
Settled on 32% of accumulated during marriage .
If cheated,should not get anything!
So much for "fair".
As you point out, disability benefits are uncertain. These threads are full of details of people losing them, despite no change in circumstances. The court should not be invited to see parity.
The thing you don't say is that disability benefits are for a reason. It is intended to pày for the extra costs of disability. Both you and your husband have a need for basic living costs, but you, alone, need the top up of your benefits. The court should be informed.
Scope has extensive information on the extra cost of disability. Obtain it, and insist your solicitor makes the point.
Can scope help? Can the equal rights organisation? At the extreme, a disabled person might take direct payment to employ carers. It is normally less than needed, never surplus income over ànd beyond what the individual requires for ordinary living costs. It is paid to the disabled person, but handed to the carers in return for their work. It could never be regarded by court as an asset to be divided or taken into account in divorce.
You must not, in àny case, agree full and final settlement clean break, lest your disability worsens and your benefits reduce, which is possible. You must place a claim on the joint pension, to prevent the partner drawing it in cash and disposing of it, when it is the life security for both of you.