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Narcissistic people

I’ve broken contact with a family member as they have for decades ticked all the boxes of narcissistic personality traits and with a family of my own now I find them unwanted interference.

They also took great pride in running their mouth off telling my neighbours when I moved I had Autism, this annoyed me as my private medical issues broadcast to the neighbours.

We have two children clean tidy and attend school regularly, we have no social workers or family support intervention and my partner works with children- yet the person I’m talking about seeks to undermine my partner and myself at every opportunity.

It has got bad enough I won’t let them in my house and when the person turns up we say we are going out xyz and inconvenient.

Without a load of drama how do we get this person to sling their hook as they will never change and corrosive to our life!

Replies

  • chiariedschiarieds Member Posts: 7,911 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi |@WhileIBreathIHope Sadly I don't know a formula that would definitely help in such a situation. My son thought perhaps his Dad had a narcissistic personality, but we later agreed it was more likely a personality disorder; some traits of which can be somewhat similar. My son felt the only way he could cope was to go 'no contact' a few years ago. He has helped me to do the same recently. I am saddened by this, as I would wish things different, but folks with such disorders sometimes don't perceive they have a problem. As you say, they don't change (unless they realise/acknowledge they have a disorder).
  • WhileIBreathIHopeWhileIBreathIHope Posts: 216 Member
    chiarieds said:
    Hi |@WhileIBreathIHope Sadly I don't know a formula that would definitely help in such a situation. My son thought perhaps his Dad had a narcissistic personality, but we later agreed it was more likely a personality disorder; some traits of which can be somewhat similar. My son felt the only way he could cope was to go 'no contact' a few years ago. He has helped me to do the same recently. I am saddened by this, as I would wish things different, but folks with such disorders sometimes don't perceive they have a problem. As you say, they don't change (unless they realise/acknowledge they have a disorder).
    Thanks
    We have tried for years to accommodate this person in a limited way, every time it starts of nicely and the same stunt pulled when we say we are not comfortable with them controlling situation.
    This then leads to accusations it is our fault clearly agreed contact details have been broken, even their partner is apologetic to us realising they are off the wall.

    Also every time it is mentioned about work I have done or achieved something, they work the reality into we couldn’t survive without their input or guidance- reality we do just fine ignoring them.

    Think our relative needs to be given marching orders from your reply
  • chiariedschiarieds Member Posts: 7,911 Disability Gamechanger
    Hmmm, Unfortunately Narcissists & some others with a personality disorder have to have 'control'. Then, unfortunately, you're made to feel guilty. It actually took my son to say to me that I shouldn't feel guilty about his Dad's actions; I wasn't the guilty one...he reminds me of this often.
    It's a difficult situation, & difficult to resolve unless your relative realises his problems & seeks help.
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