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Need it all to stop

I’m so tired, physically and mentally. The last 4 years I’ve been going at 100 miles an hour, until early this year when I went from 100 straight to 0. Now I can’t imagine the life I was living before. I don’t know how I did it. Adrenalin and sheer willpower I suppose. Now there is nothing left.
Trying meds (anti-depressants & painkillers); counselling; on waiting list to restart EMDR; regular contact with CPN; not so regular contact with Neurologist…. But none of it is helping. Really wanting everything to stop and just shut down.
Replies
It's good you're being supported by a CPN and having counselling, have you told them you don't feel like it is helping? Have they given you a timescale for EMDR to restart? Did you feel that worked better for you?
I'm a little concerned about how you're feeling and wondered if you'd consider giving Samaritans (116 123) a call? I know some people can be reluctant, but they can also be really good to talk to when you're feeling very low, in crisis or just need to talk to someone. If you ever do feel like you're in danger, you should of course give 999 a call or go to your local hospital.
I'm really glad you felt able to share with us how you're feeling and I hope some of our others members will also be along to show you support and talk with you.
Scope
If you have a few minutes to spare, we'd appreciate your feedback on our online community.
Did this post get moved? I don't remember posting in Coffee Lounge....but maybe I did, my head is all over the place at the moment.
The EMDR will recommence once the Psychologist has a slot free, but she is concerned that I need to be in a stable enough place first because she doesn't want the work to put me in an even darker place and at risk. I've told her it doesn't matter, that I couldn't feel any worse than I do now, but I appreciate she has a duty of care.
However, I do want to point out that no one is worth more than anyone else. Deep down if you do keep coming back to this place of feeling like you need to reach out, you probably do need that support and the fact there is a part of you telling you otherwise is actually probably more reason to reach out for it.
Scope
If you have a few minutes to spare, we'd appreciate your feedback on our online community.
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Did you manage to get much sleep at all last night? By the sounds of it, you're really struggling at the moment and I think it might be a good idea to talk to your GP or your CPN about how you're feeling.
I know earlier in this thread I've signposted you towards Samaritans, but I understand that sometimes you might need something broader. While as a pan-disability charity it's pretty fair to say that our strength lies more in the daily lives of disabled people than mental health, we really do want to help you, so if it's something you think might help, we would be willing to find you some additional support. If you think you might like to explore that, or just want some more info, please get in touch with me via email at [email protected]
Scope
If you have a few minutes to spare, we'd appreciate your feedback on our online community.
I am seeing my CPN next week, am on a waiting list through CMHT for resuming EMDR therapy. Local counselling services all have ridiculously long waiting lists or have closed their lists altogether. However if you can come up with something I haven't thought of, I am open to suggestions as to where to source additional support from.