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Adult children with autism

debs5711 Member Posts: 3 Listener
edited December 2019 in Autism and neurodiversity
Can someone please tell me whats out there for my son . Hes 21 high on the spectrum has no friends only goes out to go to work and has zero social skills . Spends his life in his room or at work . Im very worried about his mental health . Thankyou Debbie 


  • NYXX
    NYXX Member Posts: 1 Listener
    I hope you get help/advice on this as I am in the same boat with 2 boys aged 17 and 18 on the spectrum
  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    Me too guys, trying to persuade son with autism to go out! 

    Welcome to the community @NYXX and @debs5711 @ :)

    From chatting to others on here it seems this is a common problem.

    Do you both find your sons are happier staying in though? Mine is, but it's not what we want for them is it?  :(

  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    Wrote that wrong ;)

    I meant I do want him to be happy but just go out now and again. 
  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    We had it all planned to go to the local "escape rooms" tomorrow. 

    Just the four of us. Me, hubby, adult daughter and son. 

    He loved it last year. 
    But he's just cancelled due to being far too anxious, which seems such a shame. 

  • DAVID55
    DAVID55 Member Posts: 13 Listener
    Hi Debs, 
    Hope your not offended by me coming from a completely different angle... But your son is probably completely happy in his bed room. I think it's often difficult for Neurotypicals to understand that we are often really happy just on our own and your ideas of socialising is not what your son wants. 
    Give him ideas of things that might interest him is all you can do.
    Sorry if I offend. 

    Thanks David 
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,565 Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome to the community @debs5711! I'm tagging @SparkleSheffieldAutismAdvisors to see if they have any further suggestions. :)

  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,565 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @debs5711, how are you doing? :)

  • jotom2269
    jotom2269 Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Hi there, I’m seeking advice in regards to my 19 year old son, who I think might be autistic. He’s always displayed many signs from being quite young, he has Little or no understanding of the world around him, no social skills, not very good a expressing himself, rarely speaks unless spoken too not even to me, suffers from social anxiety, anxiety/depression and at the time of writing this he was not left the house in a year. I’m a single parent and have explained to him recently that he needs to start thinking about the future. I’m not getting any younger and my health has seriously declined in the last year to the point that I am unable to work and even if if do return to work I very much doubt it will be full time. He’s half heartedly agreed that he does need help but I don’t know where to start looking so any advice would be greatly appreciated 
  • Franstrahan
    Franstrahan Member Posts: 898 Pioneering
    I am autistic. You have to go thru your GP who will do a referral to an autism diagnostic centre. Your son shares some symptoms with me. I actually went to docs with depression and anxiety and not till I was getting counselling for that that ASD was picked up. But referral was still thru my GP. I'm 58, only found out last year I was ASD. Explains a lot. Good luck with your son. You can also try the National Autistic Society for help and advice. I'm going to ask my friend @thespiceman as he knows their link. Best wishes to you and your son.
  • jotom2269
    jotom2269 Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Thank you so much @Franstrahan. I did think about trying to get him to see a counselor first to see if that helped with the anxiety and depression but I think that might be too much for him. I will gently put the idea to him about counseling as he’s only just come out of his room after our quiet little chat on Monday  
  • Franstrahan
    Franstrahan Member Posts: 898 Pioneering
    I'm just backing up what @david55 said above here. I'm ASD and really do prefer my own company and staying in. When I used to live with my parents I spent most of my time in my room breeding tropical fish. Very happy, doing my own thing. No friends, didnt care, didnt want any. So apparently pretty normal for people on the spectrum.
  • Franstrahan
    Franstrahan Member Posts: 898 Pioneering
    I dont do one on one or face to face if I can really help it due to anxiety. My counsellors did our sessions over the phone. They probably all offer that service and that might help your son too.
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,390 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello  @jotom2269    Pleased to meet you.

    Thank you for my friend, @Franstrahan including me in this post.

    Happy to help, anything I can do.

    I am one of the Team of Community Champions.  We help and support members.

    I have mental health issues, anxiety and depression, use my health history to advise others.

    Have disability and addiction history.

    Please can you read the following advice, guidance and information carefully.

    I would consider speaking to mental health charities.

    They offer the floating support, guidance, advice and well being with mental health and autism.

    Also benefit and welfare, anything else can be supportive with.

    You can self refer or speak to your GP.

    National Autistic Society.

    Helpline 020 7833 2299

    Please if I can help with anything else please ask.

    Offer support and compassion, empathy.

    Please take care.


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.


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