Caring for an adult daughter with MH problems

annieredhead

Hello, my name is Anne and it’s my first time on this site. I am 66 and live with daughter aged 29 . She has been diagnosed with bi- polar, borderline personality disorder and ptsd. 

She also has physical health problems with asthma being the most problematic. I have chronic arthritis in both knees and left hip . I had my left knee replaced this year and it’s not been a great success! 

Life is very hard. Although I’m here for my daughter I get abuse on a daily basis sometimes physical. I deal with self harm and suicide attempts. The stress is now beginning to tell on me. I have a stomach ulcer and am being investigated for tia. 

I get no help at all for my own problems and very few people I can talk to about it. 

Sorry for the long post! 

Adrian_Scope

No need to apologise @annieredhead. You're more than welcome here. Do you get much in the way of mental health support at all?

annieredhead

The help that my daughter gets is dreadful. She was originally under the crisis team after a nervous breakdown and suicide attempt and then things gradually deteriorated. She now has a cpn who doesn’t give a damn and never checks in with her. She had a therapist for a while who has now left , with no replacement in sight. Her female psychiatrist also left the the replacement is abysmal, stopped all her meds . Its heartbreaking.

Adrian_Scope

This sounds horrendous @annieredhead. Have you raised your concerns with them?

annieredhead

Yes I have, I’ve been to meetings with her and explained how much they are failing her. Also it now seems that the cpn is trying to get her transferred to someone else. We had a letter this week saying that he would be doing this soon. There is no continuity in their care for her. 

thespiceman

Hello @annieredhead   Sorry to hear this.

Please if I can suggest these organisations. They are mental health charities I have used.

https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk

https://www.mind.org.uk

https://www.rethink.org.

Last one is an advocate charity helps those with problems that your experiencing.  Intervene on your behalf do speak for your daughter anything with medical professionals.

One other point some of these charities might not be in all areas I apologise for that.

Also all metal health providers have a duty of care and responsibility. If that is not happening. 

Look at these links mentioned above.

I know myself your daughter is entitled to good mental health if that is not happening. Please consider other options or choices.

This is not ever your fault remember that your a Mother trying to help your daughter it is the system.

Please if I can help further please get in touch.

Please can I add wish you the best and can just say hope she gets better soon, your daughter.

On the road to recovery. My thoughts and prayer with you.

Please take care.

@thespiceman

Adrian_Scope

It really sounds like she's being let down @annieredhead. I'm really sorry you're both going through this. Have you thought about making a formal complaint about the standard of her care?

annieredhead

I will be doing that. We are about to try a private clinic nearby for therapy etc, so once I get her started there I intend to complain. There’s also the matter of one of their staff talking to a complete stranger about my daughters case, thus breaking confidentiality.
Thanks Adrian, it’s nice to have someone to talk to!
Anne

Chloe_Alumni

Sorry to hear this @annieredhead, I cannot imagine what it has been like. Please do let us know if there is anything else we can do to help.