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How to unpick my son's school anxiety?

Hi, my 9 year old son has recently been diagnosed with high functioning autism, but has been struggling with school related anxiety since year 2. He insists he is being bullied, but school ( who have been supportive in general) say that although there have been incidents, he also does things and that he assumes the worst in situations, which we have observed in other settings.He has a weekly one to one with a learning mentor to talk through things and teachers are watching closely. He is often reluctant to go to school and I have various strategies in place to get him over the threshold, but it is hard to see him so unhappy. I think other things, such as being sat for long periods and being in a busy environment must also be troubling him, but it's difficult to get him to articulate beyond dislike of the group of boys who bother him.
I'm at a bit of a loss on how to improve things. Academically he is bright, so it's definitely the social or sensory side that is bothering him.
I'm at a bit of a loss on how to improve things. Academically he is bright, so it's definitely the social or sensory side that is bothering him.
Replies
Does your son need some space to be alone at times? My son recently thought that when boys came up and said "How are you doing" to him, he didn't understand the phrase and called it bullying. At his previous primary school at some break times, his mentor would take him off and he would bounce gently sitting on a large gym ball. It alleviated anxiety and he was not bothered by anyone whilst there. It worked for him.
Good luck., I know how hard it is when you feel powerless.
Have you contacted the National Autism Society? They may be able to help support you and him. Give them a call tomorrow or browse around on their site https://www.autism.org.uk/.
I am also tagging @SparkleSheffieldAutismAdvisors as they might be able to recommend techniques to try out at home with him as well. What does the teacher suggest? It may be a idea to request a quick meeting to discuss and brainstorm. Is he in a specialist school or not?
It does make it difficult to do other things after school as he is stressed out by the end of the day, so I have to accompany him to cubs and dance, for example, in case he has a meltdown. No one else can collect him regularly as he reacts badly, so I restrict work hours even though a friend would happily collect him. He also is reluctant to separate from me to go into school, so on Monday he helps with assembly, Tuesday he has badminton club before school and the rest of the week I bring the dog so he accepts I can't go into the premises with him.
Hopefully this gives a bit of a picture - sorry to go on.
As an individual I stood alone.
As a member of a group I did things.
As part of a community I helped to create change!
It sounds like you are trying lots of different things.
I think @Geoark has a great idea and this something my brother found helpful. He keeps diaries to write down how he feels and can share these if needed.
Also, I'm tagging @SparkleSheffieldAutismAdvisors and here is the National Autistic Society which also may have some information.
Please do let us know how you get on.
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