What to do

sempre

Hi all, well here I am again trying to keep everyone happy. Apart from all my medical problems and my impending appeal for PiP, I am a mother of 5 grown up children, 4 sons and a daughter. My problem is that my eldest son, who is also disabled, was always the one his siblings went to for company and help, this was mainly due because he was on his own. Since his marriage, my second son has gone down hill very quickly, he was always an anxious person and on medication for it. Now things have got worse, he has always liked a drink or two, but it has got to the point now that he is drinking constantly, and borrowing money off family and probably friends. We managed to get him to speak with someone about this, but it didn't go any further, I am at my wit's end with worry especially now that he has become withdrawn and depressed. What should I do? I have to mention that all of my son's have been attacked at some time or other, which we know made my son's very dependent on each other, and myself and husband. I have tried so many times to get my second son to get help, but he says he is alright and doesn't need us constantly worrying about him. Any suggestions please.

sempre

As you can see I don't sleep very well either.

Adrian_Scope

Hi @sempre, this sounds like a tough one. Does your second son live with you?

April2018mom

Hello @sempre.

Does he qualify for any support or not? Will he accept support? Will counselling make a difference? If so I suggest looking at that option. Your local library should have some books worth reading. Start there. 

Self help books may also help him combat his drinking habits. Perhaps he could keep a diary of his drinking. Buy a notebook and jot down times he drinks etc and show it to him. Al Anon is a alcohol detox organisation which could assist him. Or you can use this organisation. 

https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/alcohol-abuse/10-ways-help-someone-stop-drinking/#gref

Encourage him to set goals. Make a short list and laminate it. Pin it upon a wall for him to see. Does he work? 

Chloe_Alumni

Hi @sempre, sounds like things have been really difficult. Just wanted to check in to see how you were getting on.

sempre

Thank you all for your kind suggestions, my second son lives in a studio flat with his 2 cats, he has a good job, but has lost many jobs through drinking. I have on many occasions tried to get him to speak to someone, and for a couple of weeks, he did just that, but then it stopped, he had turned up for group sessions only for them to be cancelled. His doctor is also aware of his problems, but nothing has been done to help. He is going to be 39 in a couple of weeks, so not a child, but it is hard to watch your son gradually going down hill. 

Chloe_Alumni

Hi @sempre, that sounds incredibly difficult to watch. It must have been frustrating for the group sessions to be cancelled. Have you spoken to your son about your concerns? I appreciate this cannot be easy.