Mental health issues
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Chronic depression

KyaKya Member Posts: 11 Listener
Sorry I’ve been quiet and not posted for a while. 
I attempted suicide, I was at a very low, lonely point where I wanted to find peace and quietness. 

I am receiving psychological help help from a lovely therapist, but I’m finding it extremely hard to talk about my feelings and thoughts. 

Sometimes I have a dozen confusing thoughts running through my mind, other times my mind goes blank and I feel I zone out. 

I am struggling, and now I have thoughts of suicide again. 

I am pushing away the people who love me, I’m agoraphobic and feel a prisoner in my own home, and I am so exhausted.

i have stopped doing all the things I loved: knitting, art, reading, cooking. I can’t find enthusiasm or concentration. 

i harm myself because it’s the only time I feel in control of something. 

Can someone please give me any advice?

Replies

  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing team Posts: 7,954

    Scope community team

    Hi @Kya, I'm so sorry to hear how much you're struggling at the moment. But I'm really glad you're receiving some help from your therapist. Have your local CMHT got involved at all?

    Mind have some resources on how to cope with thoughts of self-harm and suicide and there's a few apps out there that you can download such as Stay Alive.

    Have you tried any talking services such as Samaritans (116 123) or SANEline (0300 304 7000)? There's also Shout who you can access by texting SHOUT to 85258, but if you ever feel like you're in immediate danger, it's really important you call 999 or go to your local hospital.

    In the meantime, if you feel like you're not getting enough support, we can always try to advocate for some more for you by way of a social care referral. If that's something that would interest you, please send us an email at [email protected]
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

    Your feedback is really important to the development of the online community, so please remember to complete our online community annual survey
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    edited December 2019
    Hello @Kya    Thank you for your post. Your not alone.  @Adrian_Scope has given you a lot of good support and advice hope that helps. I used the Samaritans myself.

    Please if I can suggest the following may be useful

    https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk

    https://www.mind.org.uk.

    https://www.rethink.org.

    These are mental health charities . I used them, before.

    They offer floating support, welfare and well being advice.

    I know have therapists and council teams or support teams, if there not working or not helping.

    Your entitled to good mental health.

    One bit of advice about therapists or any medical professionals.
     
    Write down what you are feeling. ?  I am aware it is never easy to say how you are. 

    Then when meeting this is my issues my problems and it does help.  

    I know lack of interests and not wishing to do anything is a symptom of depression.

    I would one useful tip use a diary to make plans make small steps.

    One example is to make it simple, cooking use a slow cooker or use small snacks you can easily manage and cope with.

    Use on line shopping anything you can use a tool for.

    Consider speaking to these organisations offer welfare support and assistance plus a range of services that might help you.

    https://www.salvationarmy.org.uk.

    https://www.redcross.org.uk.

    I would also say any medication can make you lethargic.

    Please if I can add if you contact any of the links provided will assess you and would be useful for them to be supportive, they may signpost you to Community Well being service.

    I have mental health as well anxiety, depression, used all three for health and wellbeing.

    Please if I can help or be supportive have compassion, empathy happy to listen.

    Please take of your self your a valued member of our community.

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
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  • MisscleoMisscleo Member Posts: 646 Pioneering
    What really helpful advice.
    If been there myself. I couldn't even go out and feed the birds. 
    Sounds daft but depression is a killer.
    If one of the cats hadnt had a stroke I doubt if I be here. Looking after that cat saved my life
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Misscleo   Thank you for kind words. No your not being daft.

    Understand a lot of my time is spent educating, being helpful and supportive.

    To those who see any mental health issues a stigma, not talk about.

    I have encountered those in denial will not admit or seek help.

    Only by accessing the right sort of help, depression, anxiety can be addressed.

    I used to visit community centres, resource centres, charities either in a volunteer role or doing a course.

    Must add with recommendation for the course coming from the charity them selves.  Helps well being or self esteem.

    Always met some person having problems but not doing anything about it.

    Meeting me and my support worker. They often were asking questions but no admittance of.

    Being struggling and it is all not right.

    I use the stone in the path saying, if you put stone in your path do we go around or stop still.. 

    So difficult to talk to some one who is not listening .

    Only being a friend, having compassion, empathy and ready to listen. Can be beneficial to learning how you can cope deal with issues personal to you.

    Please if I can ever advise need to ask me anything please get in touch.

    Please take care.

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • KyaKya Member Posts: 11 Listener
    Thank you all for the advice given, it’s so helpful to know I can talk here with you. 

    A long story cut short:
    i was raped, abused and physically and mentally tortured by my father consistently and constantly when I was a teenager. 
    I went on to marry a wonderful man, had 3 beautiful children and turned my life around. 
    Unfortunately, there was an incident at work where I was abused and bullied 3 yrs ago. 
    My world, once again, fell apart. 

    It has dragged up my past, the present is so sad, and I don’t see a future. 

    Im afraid of people, of being outdoors, of being touched or looked at. 

    My therapist is lovely but does most of the talking because I clam up. I have great difficulty trusting others. 

    She know I’ve attempted suicide and that I’m suicidal again, but hasn’t offered any coping strategies, nor for self harm 
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @kya    Thank you for sharing. Please think about contacting any of the links I provided for you.


    Please think of small steps some aims, goals that the charities offer.

    I know a difficult time and have been there. Reason  often advise, be supportive. Trauma and past histories, can be stressful, cause anxiety plus do effect you mentally.

    You have done nothing wrong, never the fault or the blame you should burden.

    Please can I ask if you wish to talk to me happy to listen, the most important is you made a start.

    Being here on the forum, talking to us the community.

    Please if I can further suggest speak to Samaritans. Lots of reassurance.

    Please keep in touch always here.

    Please take care.

    @thespiceman  
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
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  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing team Posts: 7,954

    Scope community team

    Hi again @Kya. You've been through some absolutely horrendous situations and I'm so sorry they've had such an understandably enormous impact on your day-to-day life. I know you said you struggle to talk with her, but I think it's really important you try and raise the need for coping strategies with your therapist. She'll probably be able to advise things that are more likely to work for you.

    If you need any other help, we're just an email away at [email protected] and will be more than happy to try and advocate for more support for you.
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

    Your feedback is really important to the development of the online community, so please remember to complete our online community annual survey
  • KyaKya Member Posts: 11 Listener
    I am feeling so lonely 
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Kya    Sorry to hear this, please you not alone I am here.  Ready to listen be a friend, supportive.

    Please can I ask did you contact any of the links.?

    Please if you can look at  those, did you ever speak to our team.?

    Please can I also just say I live alone.  If I can add by accessing the support, you will be able to cope.

    Meet new people and to reassure you get you confidence back and self esteem.

    Small steps.  Please I hope this helps any thing I have suggested.

    Please take care.

    @thespiceman



    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
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    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
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  • Rifi7Rifi7 Member Posts: 188 Pioneering
    Hi Kya
    I have also been and still going through a incredible low time and felt life not living but I have been chatting to people on this forum and it has help with giving support and advice. I have also had to make life changes. I know how hard it can be and when your in midst of this downward spiral it’s hard to think things will ever get better, but they do and they will. There are many people on here living proof that you can overcome this, but when it boils down to it, you and you alone are no only one to get yourself through this. Many people with suicidal thoughts have had really bad stuff happen to them in their past but we should try to focus on what we have and not on what we don’t have. I have started the Linden Method, to meditate daily, take CBD oil, eat healthily. Part of the Linden Method teaches to keep busy when you have negative thoughts and mainly that’s helped me a lot.  Every time I start to have a negative thought I keep myself busy. Do anything that diverts your mind. It’s not easy when you start doing it but if you continue to do this then you don’t give life to the bad thoughts and your subconscious minds takes over and before you know it the moment has passed and the negative thoughts are gone. At night I make a list of things I need to do the following day, so instead of thinking of the negative thoughts I’m thinking I have a busy day ahead. I’m not saying it easy and I’m still get those days when I feel consumed by bad thoughts, but those days are getting less and less when I feel like that.
    Its only something that’s worked for me. Is it not worth trying.

  • KyaKya Member Posts: 11 Listener
    Could somebody please help me. 
    I have, twice now, asked my therapist to help me with my self harming, which is getting out of control, and I’ve asked for help and coping strategies for my suicidal thoughts which don’t seem to leave me. 

    She says she’ll give it some thought, but still hasn’t suggested or helped. 

    Ive also asked for help with my flashbacks, nightmares and intrusive thoughts I’m having. 

    I don’t find it easy asking for help, but I did it. 

    But now I’m left feeling abandoned and stupid for asking, and bewildered in the lack of support for this. 

    I have a plan in my mind. 
    I am so tired, I feel worthless and hopeless, I’m in a lot of pain and I’m feeling lonely and tearful



  • chiariedschiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 8,066 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi again @Kya - My son mentioned a website he'd found helpful a while ago, which he thought may also help me (it did). I thought I remembered its name. Today my son couldn't remember it (his memory is awful!), but I've looked into it, & now, rather than saying about all sorts of abuse, the emphasis seems to be on sexual abuse. I'm sending this link in the hope that this is another resource that may help.
    I've read all the way through it. Depending upon where you live, counselling is available, or email support, which may be easier for you. However, please look at this website, & its 'Handling feelings' link in particular, which amongst other things mentions 'flashbacks,' & how to 'ground' yourself. 'Please see: https://www.intothelight.org.uk/ & https://www.intothelight.org.uk/help-for-flashbacks/  The latter link seems to suggest that this is a step forward, & that you are ready to talk, as you do here, towards 'healing.'




  • WaylayWaylay Member Posts: 922 Pioneering
    Dear @Kya,

    We're here. You're not alone. Please let us know how you are. 

    I've been through many of the same things as you, so I at least partially understand what you're going through. It's SO hard. Please remember that none of it was/is your fault, and you deserve help.

    Also please know that the way you're feeling and reacting isn't "too much", it isn't an overreaction, and it is totally reasonable given what you've been through! There's nothing wrong with you for feeling like this, and you're not alone. You deserve support and help to feel better and to be safe!

    Obviously your feelings, flashbacks, self-harming and suicidal thoughts/plans are terribly painful, scary, isolating... (add your own words here). It can make you desperate for any relief, but asking for help can be so hard. Having your therapist react so... Slowly, without due concern for how badly you're suffering, must be such a let-down!

    It sounds to me like they may not be the right therapist for you. Can you look for someone experienced with trauma? I'm not professional, so take this with a block of salt, but it sounds like you might have PTSD (maybe complex PTSD?) which has been (re)triggered by your recent experiences at work. Your therapist may be out of their depth.

    Do you have a GP? If so, I urge you to go and tell them how you're feeling as soon as you can. You deserve support through this!

    The charities listed above are useful, although some of them will have wait lists. Please don't take that as them not caring. 

    You're welcome to talk to me here anytime. I'm often on late at night.

    *safe hugs if you want them*

  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Kya   Sorry to hear what has happened.  Please can I just say my friend @Waylay   has given you a lot of constructive, supportive guidance, we are here to be understanding.

    Please if I can stress contact any of the links I have suggested.

    Therapy been there can effect bringing back memories trauma but that is a small part of the healing and recovery.

    Many times have and coped, struggled with everything I need to deal with.

    Accessing those charities offers a sense of support, compassion and empathy.

    Looking at many ways to help and support you through many steps of what your issues are.

    All friendly, kind and warmth.

    Please if I can be a friend need to talk am here also.  Any time, this time of year I know a lot of issues.

    I wish could be once rid of pain but know it is using these charities and using the tools helped me to deal with my struggles.

    Please contact me ask me any thing questions.  Need to share, care.

    Always in prayers.

    Please take care your important to me the community and every one does care we all do.

    Especially me as I have experiencing what your thinking.

    Want to see you on the right path to recovery. As I know small steps.

    Your friend

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • shadow66shadow66 Member Posts: 19 Connected
    Could I also make a suggestion that you consider contacting your local Rape and Sexual Abuse centre (RASAC), most areas have them. They have phone and 1:1 support and will also sometimes correspond by email.  There is no pressure to disclose more than you are comfortable with, but they are trained specifically in this particular area and will listen with empathy and compassion. It might help.

  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing team Posts: 7,954

    Scope community team

    Hi @Kya,
    Have you tried any of Rethink's, Harmless', or LifeSIGNs' tips on managing self-harm? There's also Recover your life who are an online support forum for people who self-harm and as always there's Samaritans (116 123 or [email protected])

    If you're feeling like you might be in immediate danger, please call 999 or go to your local hospital.

    I know we've offered it before, but if you'd like us to try and advocate for some additional support on your behalf, please get in touch with us on [email protected] If you're able to provide us with your full name, date of birth and address we can (with your consent) try to make a social care referral and try to put in place some support for you.
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

    Your feedback is really important to the development of the online community, so please remember to complete our online community annual survey
  • KyaKya Member Posts: 11 Listener
    I am too depressed to do much of anything right now. 
    I just don’t have it in me. 
    Thank you everyone for your advice. 
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Kya     Sorry to hear this, just do and we are all concerned, care .

    Everything is scary, frightening your mind all the place, know and have been there. 

    I know you do not what do or wish to do.

    Once thinking about the reason to move forward, lots of self doubts.

    Is there a particular stumbling block an issue ?  You have please can I ask.

    Once enrolled in any of these charities all the pain, problems go away to give some reassurance. New beginnings.

    Never know what might happen.  I once applied to a charity first words were happy in this home, wished all clientele be with a local housing association.

    Another one got help with my addiction, ended up getting qualifications. Entirely new line of work and prospects and employment.

    Never thought of that. Have own employer advisors and also will go with you if you have to Jobcentre plus sit in with you.

    Suggestions, ideas included many aspects of life style changes.

    I think of this a thought for you.  Incidentally taught to me by some one because had so much self doubt.

    Two paths one is yourself one is some one else.

    You going along with baggage suitcases of your life every one has those. I do.

    Suddenly you stop, see a stone a obstacle . Just given up.

    On the other path is some one else like yourself, they are moving along no obstacles no stones continue on.

    Pass the gate and on to grass that is greener sunshine and much more.

    You still stuck.

    The other person happy getting everything you should be getting. Lots of help, support and much more guidance.

    Must add new ideas, goals and friends.  Moved on cope and deals with their issues and problems. Got the inspiration, the healing.

    Who would you rather be. ?

    Poignant and sad to see some one with a lot to give and have a life again.

    I do understand but this your decision.

    Please we are here anytime . Thought I would share my stories have been through so much.

    Still here and keeping going.

    Wasted so many times opportunities now say yes .

    @thespiceman








    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing team Posts: 7,954

    Scope community team

    Hi @Kya,

    I'm really concerned that your therapist isn't addressing your needs here and how this lack of support is affecting your wellbeing. I know it's a big step, but have you considered finding yourself a new therapist?
    A social care referral could also help to ensure that your needs are reassessed and proper care is put in place. Please know that we're only an email away at [email protected] and you can always get in touch if that's something you'd like us to look at doing.
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

    Your feedback is really important to the development of the online community, so please remember to complete our online community annual survey
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