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Acceptance

pollyanna1052
pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 2,032 Disability Gamechanger
Hope everyone had a good Christmas day...even those who don't celebrate.  Some time ago, I saw a post from someone saying they embrace their disability.  I felt i could never do that and saw mine as the enemy.

Well since receiving my elusive diagnosis I think i have turned a corner.

I accept my MS as part of me and no longer feel angry with myself.

It's better to be at peace with myself than be constantly despising who i am
22 years is gone. 

Here's to 2020.
Much love to all
 Xxxxx

Comments

  • Franstrahan
    Franstrahan Member Posts: 898 Pioneering
    @pollyanna1052
    That really is awesome. And beautiful.
    Joy in all circumstances!
    Wishing you a life changing 2020. xx
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,923 Disability Gamechanger
    I think when you get the correct diagnosis, we can learn to accept them. I actually believe that I was meant to be disabled :)
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • supermummy1990
    supermummy1990 Member Posts: 14 Connected
    it takes a while but once you accept things get so much easier I used to hate my self but now realise if my disability's was taken away from me I wold have to learn everything again as I would be a totally different person my disability's are what makes me. 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,570 Disability Gamechanger
    edited December 2019
    Some interesting sentiments, nice thoughts and if that’s how you deal with it then great, but I’d rather be better personally :D
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,076

    Scope community team

    Have a fantastic 2020 Pollyanna. I really hope this is the start of something new for you. :smile:
    Community Manager
    Scope

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
  • deb74
    deb74 Member Posts: 767 Pioneering
    Hi @pollyanna1052. I was talking to a guy a few years ago who had just been diagnosed with ms and he told me to never be ashamed of my disability because it is part of who I am. I have never forgotten that.
  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,869 Member
    Thanks. 

    We had a fairly low key Christmas. After lunch, we played games. We started off with a timed game of Charades, then we decided to play a fun game of Scrabble before tea followed by a round of children's games. Late at night we had a game of cards. 

    I also fully concur too. Yesterday was the first time I did not mourn my son’s disability at all. Rather we all had fun. He joined in the games we played as a family. And he even dined with us.

    I have come to accept he has spina bifida several months ago. It is much easier than trying to overcome. What am I hoping to achieve by forcing him to deny his limitations constantly? The short answer is basically nothing useful really. This is my new normal. Why can't I be proud of him and his achievements? Every time that he makes progress, we celebrate. 

    I officially am at peace with his diagnosis. I realised that recently after a quick conversation with someone in town about his progress over the years. In the early days I resisted his disability as much as I could however. It does take time to accept. One thing that really helped me was to stay positive and calm as well. Especially in the early months. I kept his diagnosis a secret from strangers we met. Still do. Why not? 

    It seemed a sensible choice. 

    But it is hard definitely. I used to cry when I heard the words spina bifida. Now I do not. Looking back, I know that is progress on my part. I hope someday that I will be able to tell people that he has open spina bifida without being shy or insecure. That is a goal for me for the future. I hope I can achieve it. It has to come from within I strongly believe. How do I accomplish that? I’m not saying it will be uncomplicated not at all. 

    For me, part of it was confronting my insecurities. I mean openly doing so without embarrassing myself. It was the first step on the long difficult road to acceptance. How do you feel about disability? I think we still need to talk about acceptance when it comes to disability. One lesson I have had to learn is not to suffer quietly. I am naturally a shy insecure person. Yet I love drama according to my mother. And I know that this is not always a good thing for society. 

    What would you do? 

    On a lighter note how was Christmas? 
  • pollyanna1052
    pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 2,032 Disability Gamechanger
    April........it must be harder to cope having a child with a disability...even more than having one yourself.
    AS mothers we`d do anything..no matter what...to save our children`s pain, discomfort and difficulties. That is the most natural thing in the world.

    You are coming round to the fact that your child is just like any other child but with a disability.

    Never feel bad for his condition....I said I felt horrible to think I had passed a disability onto my offspring. My daughter told me this was stupid, because I didn't smoke, drink or do drugs and caused the condition..that was when I was told I had HSP.

    Are you in any SP support groups? I believe it would benefit you. As you are a shy person...this really could help.

    Our Christmas was quiet and peaceful.

    xxxxxxx
  • pollyanna1052
    pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 2,032 Disability Gamechanger
    66Mustang said:
    Some interesting sentiments, nice thoughts and if that’s how you deal with it then great, but I’d rather be better personally :D
    Hi, I do get you and of course I would rather enjoy good health.xxx
  • pollyanna1052
    pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 2,032 Disability Gamechanger
    Ami2301 said:
    I think when you get the correct diagnosis, we can learn to accept them. I actually believe that I was meant to be disabled :)

    Hi, you say you feel like you were meant to be disabled....mmm, I have a bit of difficulty understanding that. But if it soothes you, then ok xxxx
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,923 Disability Gamechanger
    @pollyanna1052 before I became disabled, I was a shell. I done absolutely nothing with my life. But since I've become disabled, I'm the opposite to who I was before, I've discovered who I am. Even though I have limitations now, I make better use of my life now than I did before. Hope 2020 is kind to everyone.
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,869 Member
    Thanks @pollyanna1052

    Maybe this is what the Holy Spirit wanted for our family. In the early days post diagnosis I thought that it was caused by lack of folic aid and almost made a appointment with a nutritionist to ask about folic acid deficiency and diet. But I no longer believe that. Disability is funny, isn't it?

    My little sister was born with proportionate dwarfism six years ago. She is doing well at school and sports despite her diagnosis. Yet all we can do is roll with it really. What else can we do? My son’s condition changed everything for me personally too. I was no longer afraid to speak out and advocate for the less able. 

    Merry Christmas to you too! Hope you had a good one. We did. 
  • Seanchai
    Seanchai Member Posts: 411 Pioneering
    Growing up I saw my fathers side of the family having terrible breathing problems ....going back for generations my paternal forefathers died at an early age through breathing problems , I watched my grandmother and my father die of lung problems ...I hoped it had skipped a generation but alas age 40 , I had terrible breathing problems ....but the difference is , the medication is there to help now but was not there 30 or 40 years ago . None of my forefathers have lived over 69 years of age ... I am determined to beat that ,(I,m 65 next month)  I have COPD ...but at least the medication is helping me . 
    Then again , my mothers side of the family have all died by heart problems ...I could be dead by now if I had got more of her DNA instead of my fathers DNA . I think if we accept who and what we are and our limitations then we are halfway to beating our life problems . 
  • Tammyjane33
    Tammyjane33 Member Posts: 683 Pioneering
    I love all the comments and how people support each other on this forum, it's amazing. I wish people were like this in real life 😂some people are but some are very judgemental and no one needs that added onto the things they already have going on in their body and head. Hope you all had a nice Christmas day and I hope to speak to you more very soon 😊
  • Franstrahan
    Franstrahan Member Posts: 898 Pioneering
    @Tammyjane33
    Agree with your comment, people are nicer on forums then they are in real life!!

    Think on this forum we all have a common bond so we look out for each other. We are 'different' from the world, and the world can say what it likes, but it doesnt really get it.
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,570 Disability Gamechanger
    I have found the opposite in general - people are nicer in real life than they are on the internet because online they can say what they like without consequence. I find online people can be very rude and offensive - not on here just on the internet in general. This forum seems to be quite unique in that people aren’t rude to each other on it! :)

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