Hi, I'm DaveTheWasp! — Scope | Disability forum
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Hi, I'm DaveTheWasp!

DaveTheWasp Member Posts: 37 Courageous
Hi, I'm DaveTheWasp and I'm a carer for my wife, who struggles with mental health conditions (namely borderline personality disorder, anxiety & depression).

I was directed here when looking for advice and experiences of PIP Tribunals, particularly for mental health, but I'll make a separate post in the proper section.

Just wanted to jump in here and say "Hi" before going and making that post!


  • steve51
    steve51 Member Posts: 7,154 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @DaveTheWasp

    Good Morning & Welcome.

    I am one off a team of Community Champion’s here at Scope.

    We have got two members who will be able to help you!!! 

    @thespiceman is very very good when it comes to “Mental Health Issues”

    @poppy123456 will be able to tackle your “Benefits” with you.

    “Many thanks guys”

  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 12,265 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @DaveTheWasp - Welcome to this great community from me too! Thank you for joining & for introducing yourself. As Steve says, we have some members who will be able to advise. May I ask does your wife have any local support for her mental health?
  • DaveTheWasp
    DaveTheWasp Member Posts: 37 Courageous
    Thanks for the warm welcome!  Over the last 10 years the GP has referred her for loads of local support teams, usually 10 -12 appointments, which she attended (with the exception of one programme last year, where she didn't feel comfortable with the person conducting the appointments.  The team declined her request for another specialist and told her that she "wasn't ready for therapy").  She was also referred for DBT, but was turned down due to a lack of available specialists and the waiting list being at capacity.

    The GP has advised that my wife has pretty much been through every programme she can be referred to without being an immediate danger to herself or others.
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    edited January 2020
    Hello @DaveTheWasp   Pleased to meet you.

    Thank you for joining and sharing.

    I also like to thank my friend @steve51 for asking to help your wife.

    I have long term mental health one of the team of Community Champions.  Have a disability addiction history use all of this to help those members like your  wife.

    Pleasure to advise and guide you .

    Used these organisations.  All offer floating support, welfare benefit advice and well being.

    Use coping methods strategies Often can help with lots of other related issues regarding  health or signpost you to anything relevant.

    Any problems with medical professionals will attend speak on your wife's behalf.




    You can self refer or speak to your GP.  Might not be in all areas.

    Please if you wish to ask any questions need to know anything.

    Have a wealth of knowledge expertise and experience on mental health issues, including addiction and nutrition and diet.

    As mentioned before can help offer a lot.

    Be supportive, offer compassion and empathy, get in touch.

    Please take care.


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • Ails
    Ails Member Posts: 2,256 Disability Gamechanger
    HI @DaveTheWasp and welcome to the Community.  It is nice to meet you and thank you for sharing with us.  You have been given some great advice and information above which I'm sure you will find helpful for your wife.  

    Carers such as yourself do a fantastic job and I am sure that you are a great support for your wife.  My husband is my carer as I have Spina Bifida and so rely on him a lot so I appreciate what carers do for us, as do many of our members I'm sure, who have carers also.  I hope you enjoy your time with us and am sure you will find our Community a very supportive space also.  If we can be of any further help/support to you and your wife then please don't hesitate to ask.  All the best.  :smile:  
    Winner of the Scope New Volunteer Award 2019.   :)
  • DaveTheWasp
    DaveTheWasp Member Posts: 37 Courageous
    Thanks for the kind words and warm welcome welcome.

    As it happens, I did struggle with the transition from my job to caring for my wife and helping raise our daughters, and I turned to alcohol for years,thinking it was helping me cope, which it wasn't (kind of obvious, now I think about it). I had a bit of a health scare which prompted me to start looking after myself so that I could be there for my wife and children though.

    While I don't wish struggles on anyone, it's also comforting to know that others face similar situations and come through them.

    I'll do my best to share my experiences with others if I think it could help someone. 
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 12,265 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi again Dave. It must be frustrating that your GP says your wife has 'been through every programme' [that might help], when DBT is considered the most hopeful therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder, but she was unable to see an appropriate specialist. I have a little understanding of this disorder, as both myself & son independently came to the conclusion his Dad has this. Others here have also said they were told 'they weren't ready for therapy.' Might you consider seeing another GP in the practice saying all avenues have not as yet been explored?
    And thank you; I see you've already reached out to help in this forum.
    I'm pleased to know you're now looking after yourself, for you, & your family.
    Many of us go through similar problems, even tho we have different disorders, or are looking after someone else facing difficulties. We share our problems, & support each other, which as you say is indeed 'comforting.' This is what I feel makes this a very good community to belong to, & sincerely hope it helps you too.
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,552

    Scope community team

    Welcome @DaveTheWasp. :smile:
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