Stuck with life (chronic fatigue, depression, poss IBD etc)
Hi everyone, I don’t really know what I’m looking for but I feel really stuck with everything at the moment and I just don’t know where I’m going.
As mentioned in my intro post I have type 1 diabetes, chronic pain and fatigue, depression, anxiety disorder and hypertension. However two things have changed. In my intro post I mentioned that I had IBS. It turns out that this isn’t the case and after some recent flare-ups (and a calprotectin test at the doctor’s) it looks more like it is something like Crohn’s, which could explain the fibromyalgia symptoms (which is what my GP previously thought I had). I’m getting a colonoscopy in under a fortnight for this. Also, my psychiatrist thinks I am on the autistic spectrum, which would explain a lot of my “quirks” and social issues, but I’m awaiting a formal test.
The thing is, I keep really struggling with work. As you can imagine with my various conditions, I’m often off ill, and workplaces don’t like this. My chronic fatigue issues make it difficult to do more than 20 hours a week, and I find busy workplaces really stressful because of all the noise, happenings and social interactions. I’ve honestly kept trying my best over the past decade, and I’ve been in some sort of employment most of that time, although I’ve honestly just felt like I’m constantly on the edge of failing. I’m no longer in employment as of this month as I was struggling too much with the shifts and my health has been rubbish (gastrointestinal stuff has been really flaring up and making me sick and even more sore than usual). It sounds like whinging but I just feel like a big failure. I don’t want to just give up on everything, but I feel like I just keep screwing up. I don’t know what on earth I’m going to do about living expenses once my savings run out in a couple of months. I live with my ex-partner and we’re both named on the mortgage, so it’s not really rent I’m paying. (I had thought of having my name taken off it but don’t know how much hassle that would be). I feel like I should be looking for a job but I just feel like crap and I don’t think I can manage. I’m so sick of everything.
I’m on the list to see some advisors at a local charity about all the stuff that’s going on, but I don’t even know what I should be asking for or what I should be doing. Thanks for reading.