Am I being lazy by asking for more help? — Scope | Disability forum
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Am I being lazy by asking for more help?

rpd123 Community member Posts: 8 Listener
I have cerebral palsy and recently I have been asking for more help with ADL's because I get tired easier, especially since I have a full day of work (8hrs) almost everyday. I feel lazy because I know how to get dressed and brush my teeth but I get tired easier and I would rather focus my energy on college/homework/my internship. I know that it is the job of my nurse to help me but I feel like I'm making them work more than they need to. Has anyone ever asked for more help to save energy?


  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
    @rpd123 Hello and welcome to the community, I am a community champion here at scope. I don't have experience of your condition or help you need. But I would say don't beat yourself up and feel you are being lazy. Its not about being able to get dressed etc you work a full day and this is a drain on anyone even able bodied people. 
  • wilko
    wilko Community member Posts: 2,458 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello, if you don't ask you won't get, people will assume you're managing OK. If help is offered then take it saying thank you I normally manage but today I can't, iam having an off day, a flare up of my condition, I had a sleepless night just sapped. 
  • WestHam06
    WestHam06 Community member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,396 Pioneering
    Hi @rpd123,
                       How are you? I too have Cerebral Palsy and can relate to how you are feeling with regard to feeling lazy for asking for more help. However, it is important to get a balance to enable you to be able to do the things that you want to do. As I have become older, I have had to ask for more help to enable me to balance my condition and the effects that it has with the things I want to do. It's not easy and I still find it hard but it does make a difference. Please try not to feel as though you are being lazy, you're not. Remember that by asking for help, you are able to focus on the things you enjoy doing such as college. Also, you are doing long days and this will impact anyone, regardless of if they have a disability or not. You are doing amazingly well, keep going! I hope that this helps and if there is anything else I can help with then please do just ask. Thank you. 
  • rpd123
    rpd123 Community member Posts: 8 Listener
    Hi all, thank you for the comments. I apologize for not introducing myself right away. I am rpd and I have athetoid cerebral palsy. I guess it’s just weird because even at 23 and being in grad school, I don’t have the energy I used to. Again, I apologize for barging in here but as I get older I am starting to value health and activity over independence which is a huge transition for me.
  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,615 Scope online community team
    edited February 2020
    Hi @rpd123
    It's great to meet you! 
    I have quad CP and I am very used to the tiredness that you speak of. Through my life experiences, I have learned that it is so important to get the balance right between activity and rest.
    Personally, I don't think it's lazy to ask for additional help, I have to sometimes. I also think it shouldn't be all of the time otherwise, we run the risk of losing that independence and the ability to perform tasks. If that makes sense?
    We have a great thread; Things that you have found useful for managing your CP some of the tips have really helped me. There is more than one page so don't forget to click the navigation arrows.
    Don't apologise! Feel free to barge in anytime. :smile:
    Specialist Information Officer and Cerebral Palsy Programme Lead

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  • Brightsidebecs
    Brightsidebecs Community member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 88 Pioneering
    Hi, I’m a community champion with Cerebral Palsy. I personally agree with everyone else comments it’s ok to ask for help if needed, I’ve struggled with such things my entire life. Assistence just means we can enjoy life a bit more easier. 

  • rpd123
    rpd123 Community member Posts: 8 Listener
    Hi guys,

    Thanks for all the comments. This past week I have had help in the shower, putting clothes on, and brushing my teeth. I’m definitely now able to concentrate better at school and be more productive at work. It’s Ijust weird being so vulnerable again. I mostly have help five days in the morning and then I rely on them less in the evening.

    thank you guys for the welcome and support!
  • Brightsidebecs
    Brightsidebecs Community member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 88 Pioneering
    You are very welcome, glad things are better for you. Remember the scope community is always here if you need anything ?

  • Denise11
    Denise11 Community member Posts: 99 Pioneering
    Hi there!  Listen - you are not not lazy.  Am I right in think that you are in your 20's and working 8 hours, 5 days a week?  Well, I'm 57.  When I left education the Careers Officer come to see what the students could do and not do. I had a person tutor who I was close to and had that not  it been for him I guess that I would have had treatment my peers had which was being stuck in some day centre somewhere. But, I was given the opportunity of office work for 30 years.  It was a struggle and I was told from the start that my work had to be accurate or else I would have to sit there until it was.  But I worked for 30 years.   You're working 40 hours a week, which is one big effort  and an effort that you should be very proud of indeed!  So, don't feel you're being lazy.  When you are tired your carers are there to help and I expect they feel proud of you!  As my helper said a while back, "if nobody help you, you wouldn't be able to go out like you do, or work like you do, so just think of that", she then gave a big sniff and started washing my kitchen floor.  So, don't feel bad nor lazy!  Okay!  Denise11


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