Mental health issues
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The Truth

HelenT2HelenT2 Member Posts: 14 Listener
Hi all
I live in a house that was owned by my father.The property was put in a Trust and since my father's death the house has been passed onto two Trustees,my brothers.My eldest brother raped me when I was three and this continued until I was 15.Because no criminal trial has taken place (it's my word against his) all a solicitor can do is try and get a Life Interest in the house for me.This means that my brother's can't sell it from under me. This is good but does mean that I am still tied up with family politics should things need fixing in the house. My brothers would have the final say as regards paying for things to be fixed.All I really want is to get away from my brothers but short of making myself homeless I really don't know what to do. I just needed to get things out of my head.
Thanks for reading this
Helen

Replies

  • EmmaBEmmaB Member Posts: 263 Pioneering
    Hi @HelenT2
    That sounds like a very tricky situation... I presume your father left you the property in a Trust so it wouldn't affect your benefits if you are on them?  Either way I hope your solicitor can give you some good advice as to the way forward, I presume it's not possible to change trustees given the situation?  I don't know how the trustee/trust thing works, I know my mum has left me my inheritance in a trust, I don't really like the idea to be honest as you are beholden to others but I don't really feel it's up for negotiation...
    I'm hoping you have / have had proper support re the trauma of your past experiences, and maybe build up some support in case you do need to get the house fix in the future so you don't have to deal with your brother/s directly if you don't want to, which would be totally understandable.
    Best wishes.
    Emma
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing team Posts: 7,923

    Scope community team

    Hi @HelenT2. I'm really sorry you are in this position and I can understand why you would want to be able to distance yourself from your brother.
    I know you've said no criminal trial has taken place, have you reported what happened to the police? 

    With regards to the house and trustees, has your solicitor looked into whether the trustees can be changed at all? Sometimes this is a possibility. 
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

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  • HelenT2HelenT2 Member Posts: 14 Listener
    Many thanks for your reply.I will ask my solicitor about what you mention as regards the Trust.
    No I haven't reported my brother to the police as I have always thought that it would never get anywhere, but I have been having a rethink  about this.
    Thanks for you reply
    Regards
    Helen
  • EmmaBEmmaB Member Posts: 263 Pioneering
    Hi @HelenT2

    I think awareness around sexual abuse has come on leaps and bounds in recent years and I'd like to think that it would be possible for you to report what has happened to the police and that they would be supportive.  

    There are organisations out there who could help you with this and you might find just talking to them would help, even if you don't end up reporting what happened.  Either way this may help you move forward positively and with increased confidence, eg:

    https://www.iicsa.org.uk/victims-and-survivors/about-forum

    https://www.safeline.org.uk/what-we-do/women/?gclid=CjwKCAjwhOD0BRAQEiwAK7JHmGXzHNn39NhGQDFylYYXbFyw51dYUn2WxgSWNao38aILuxo3J1BDnBoCiAQQAvD_BwE

    I hope your solicitor can offer you some advice on the possibility of trustees because I should imagine that your situation is not a one-off.

    I hope that helps and wish you well.

    Emma
  • HelenT2HelenT2 Member Posts: 14 Listener
  • christonerchristoner Member Posts: 2 Listener
    report your brother then sue him 

  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing team Posts: 7,923

    Scope community team

    edited June 2020
    Hi @HelenT2
    In addition to the links Emma provided I hope you don't mind me sharing the NSPCC's support information on non-recent abuse.
    And Victim Support's guide and factsheet relating to operation Hydrant on reporting abuse which gives some information on what might happen should you choose to report what happened. Victim Reporting Factsheet.

    Plus if you feel like you need some additional support there's NAPAC which may be of some use to you: NAPAC
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

    Your feedback is really important to the development of the online community, so please remember to complete our online community annual survey
  • gillian72gillian72 Member Posts: 292 Pioneering
    @Adrian_Scope,  ahhh! I've just had a look at your link for napac very powerful  reading I'm emotional  now maybe need to stop putting on a front that I'm fine isn't working I'm gonna sign up to it but plz don't worry I'm not gonna bomb u off lol,ur always be my 1st scope ❤️❤️Xxx
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing team Posts: 7,923

    Scope community team

    I'm glad you've found NAPAC useful @gillian72 and that you feel you can stop putting on a front. It's okay not to be okay. :) 
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

    Your feedback is really important to the development of the online community, so please remember to complete our online community annual survey
  • gillian72gillian72 Member Posts: 292 Pioneering
    @Adrian_Scope,😇 Aww I could just squeeze u to death ur so caring with ur  messages (replys) ❤️ I'm not in the right frame of mind atm to sign up to the group yet, my anxiety and stress levels are going through the roof atm 😡😜  was starting to get my sense of humour back an feeling calm while in lockdown , an my daughters partner has just bought his first house in a matter of  2 weeks  just waiting for keys now,I know what's going to happen next lol bless them ,there trying to hide the excitement from me, an that's it both kids have flown the nest now 😂😂 xx
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