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Not Coping

Hi, I hope someone will read this! I’m feeling so low and in extreme pain all the time with a 3 and 5 year old at home without any of my usual support. Even with support I struggle to manage the pain (usually only leave the house to walk kids across the road to school then have to rest until pick up) and now it is getting worse every day...I feel so alone and today I woke up in so much pain I feel like I can’t go on like this. My husband is a key worker working nights. I’ve asked if he can discuss with them that I have a disability and can not continue to manage the kids but he doesn’t seem to think it’s possible. I don’t feel like he understands how hard it is to be in pain all the time and have the kids. I don’t know anyone in a similar situation so hope someone can offer some advice or support....
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I'm not surprised you are finding things difficult at the moment being holed up with a 3 and 5 year old without your usual support, very tricky. How you feel psychologically will most likely be directly impacting on your pain levels as the body and mind are inextricably linked...
You don't say anything about the cause of your pain or whether you've previously seen your GP or even a pain management team about it, but you might find some of the suggestions in the article I recently wrote for Motability Lifestyle helpful, see from page 41:
https://live.editiondigital.com/e/201mppqns/lifestyle-106#!page41
There is a lot you can do to manage pain but it does take commitment and most strategies are not quick fix.
Unfortunately the solution is rarely found by taking 'pain' medication long term and in fact they have been found to make pain worse by increasing sensitivity to it - if you've been on pain medication for a long time or are on a high dose you may want to speak to your GP about reviewing this, some GP don't know much about pain management so if your GP is reluctant to consider any changes you can always ask to see someone different.
I hope that helps.
Emma
www.emmawestcounselling.co.uk
Scope
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@EmmaB I’ve tried just about everything in regards to pain management and nothing has made much of a difference. I had a spinal fusion for scoliosis about 20 years ago and the pain gets worse every year. I found your article really helpful - thank you! I had been taking quite allot of codeine and the article helped me realise it was starting to cause problems so I’ve stopped taking them for now.
@Adrian_Scope my husband doesn’t have to work nights for now thankfully. But he’s about to start 10 days in a row, some of which he won’t be home until very late. I’m not sure how I’m going to manage it but at the moment I’m feeling a bit more positive about getting through it!
I'm glad you found the article helpful. I hope coming off the codeine improves things, there's a nice, supportive, closed [ie you just need to request to join] facebook group called: Opioid, Gabapentinoid, Antidepressant Tapering Support Group
which you might find helpful as most of the people on there have experience of coming off opioids, readjusting to life without them and realising the benefits of not living with the side effects! The group was set up by Louise who featured in the article.
Best wishes.
Emma
www.emmawestcounselling.co.uk
Scope
If you have a few minutes to spare, we'd appreciate your feedback on our online community.
The more I hear about the corona virus and whats happening in the UK and people getting stressed about presents they haven't brought and I feel sad
Then looking through Facebook I see the amazing things people are doing and what happens in my own village to get presents for the children
I am also scared of the corona virus not just for me but my family my friends my mum its taken along time for me to get over the corona virus and I had itcin March
Whilst writing this though and knowing people will read this I am laughing at myself for being a silly Billy and asking myself why am I stressing I cant change whats happening I am keeping myself safe I know my family are ok I know my mum is as ok as she can be as she has dementia
So I don't need to stress and make myself poorly lots of people are pulling together to give the best Xmas to people and I know that this virus is the worst thing ever and people are dying most people pull together and follow the rules but the good thing that has happendis people pulling together to make a Xmas for people all across Wales
I think that its amazing so I hope now that we stand together to follow the rules and get this corona virus gone so I have no reason to stress because compared to some people I have a good life and I have people to talk to and I am here for others if they need to talk and talking is good as I said I am laughing at myself now ha ha
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We had a fab chat and had to tell her a bit about myself and what sort of job I am looking for I have been registered now I made her laugh I said I will work for scope doing what she does ha ha
I will have another phone call from tom on 4th of January to discuss my options and what training is available and today I have asked to be a panelist so waiting to see about that aswel
I have been trying to catch up with the welcomes and managed to do family fortunes so its all go lol ha ha I feel fab I have purpose now and something to look forward to thanks to scope and I love being on here and talking to everyone its great
Some info here. https://www.scope.org.uk/employment-services/
I live in Wales so I have been referd to the well being its still part of scope and Emma who I spoke to said that they will be able to help me with training or short course and help me find a job in wales
You have an initial phone call once you contact them and they tske your details and they ask you a few questions then they make you an appointment with another person I have one with Tom who then does other things with you and helps to match you to a job I eill speak to Tom on 4th of January so I will let youvknow what happens after that
I feel better in myself now and I have something to look forward to and being on here is great I love it but everything scope do is truly wonderful and glad I got to here
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I have ran out of songs now though eith the name a song we should do a film one I think that would be good
Games like thst keep the memory going especially in lockdown scop community is going to keep me going on our else lick down its going to be longer but I have learnt to deal with the lockdowns now now and again I have panic attacks I think prople who haven't had them before probably have them now its a new way of life we are living now so have to find ways to cope 😀