Parents, carers and disabled parents
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I am getting really worried about my son

hi my son will be 2 next month! I spoke my doctor last month about him she said she think he is Autistic! Which to be fair i did too! I have asked for help from my health visitor before about his behaviour and the way he is behind! He isnt talking yet he has just started to say mum mum this week! The doctor advised me to buy him a helmet due the fact that he was headbutted so much he was nearly knocking himself out a few times he nearly cut his head open! He was blacl and blue! It was horrible to see him do this to himself as if I would stop him he would get more upset! So the helmet has help! But his screaming he do he is still doing it and its getting louder and louder and more and more! But he has started to headbutt me out of the blue the other day when I was getting him dressed he sat on my lap and the pulled his head back and head butted me in the jaw it is now so swollen I look like i have a golf ball on the side of my jaw and to top it off that day he throw himself at me and he fall on to my belly right on my stoma bag and large hernia which now has set it off bleeding since and so painful and the hernia is now bigger! Then at night when I wS getting him ready for bed I had him sat on my lap again taking off his clothes and be pull him self forwards and then headbutted me in tbe eye when he come backwards its was so fast I couldn't stop him! I just dont know what to do! He isn't just don't  understand how much that he has hurt me or himself! I just dont kniw how to stop him before he do really damage to himself or next time it might not be me it might be his brother or sister x I feel like i am doing everything wrong x

Replies

  • Sorry_SusanSorry_Susan Member Posts: 56 Courageous
    If there is any way you can go private, DO IT.
    You will struggle to get any type of diagnosis as he is so young. Private is your best hope.
    Good luck.
  • charley1389charley1389 Member Posts: 3 Listener
    Really its it that hard! How do I go about going private? X
  • AilsAils Member Posts: 2,268 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @charley1389 and welcome to the Community.  It's nice to meet you and thank you for sharing with us.  I'm sorry to hear of your current struggles with your son and his Autism.  I don't know anything about going for private medical care, but I had a wee look online and have found a couple of organisations who work with people with Autism, the first one especially so in dealing with children with Autism and they maybe able to provide you with some more advice/information/support, if you would like to have a look -

    https://sparklesheffield.co.uk/

    https://www.autism.org.uk/

    There are also some members of the Community who also have children with Autism so it is worth while having a read at past threads they have posted and I'm sure some of them may reach out to you and share their own experiences with you.  Is it worthwhile also speaking to your GP about your son if you are finding that you are getting nowhere with your health visitor?  Also if you are on Facebook you may find some local support groups also for parents.  It sounds as though it is a tough time for you both and if he has accidentally hurt you and you are suffering because of it, it maybe worthwhile getting that checked out also with your GP, especially if the hernia is getting larger, as GPs and hospitals are still there for people and their health worries even during lock-down.  I'm sure you are certainly not doing everything wrong with your son and that you are doing the very best for him, but I can appreciate how worried you are about him and how stressed you must be.  Please know that we are here also to support you anytime on the Community so please chat to us if you need us as there will always be someone on here to listen.  Please keep in touch and let us know how things are going and if we can be of any help/support to you at all then you only just have to ask.  I wish you all the best.  :smile:
    Winner of the Scope New Volunteer Award 2019.   :)
  • chiariedschiarieds Member Posts: 7,898 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @charley1389 - Welcome to the community. I'm pleased you've joined, as Scope may be able to help you. There's a programme called Navigate which supports parents of children either pre- or post-diagnosis. Please see: https://www.scope.org.uk/family-services/navigate/
    I've seen parents here say how good they've found Navigate.
    As well as the great advice Ails has given, there's another online resource. See: https://www.childautism.org.uk/for-families/autism-helpline/
    I hope some of the advice we've all given may be helpful, as you can't go on like this indefinitely. If you do consider a private referral, it would be best to go through your GP, but the safety of you both is the most important thing right now. As Ails has said, we're all here for you, please keep in touch, & chat here any time. :)


  • charley1389charley1389 Member Posts: 3 Listener
    Thank you both so much! Means alot to me as I am on my own witb the 3 children. He is my youngest. And with my health issues myself its hard. With my stoma bag and hernia. Which is now my 7th one so hospital can't do anymore surgery's on me anymore. Because of it I am on alot of med and alot of morphine aswell to help me cope with pain. I also have a feeding tube in my nose which he is always pulling on! I am not bothered about me and what he do to me! But my older kids are getting worried that he is hurting me and the other day my oldest son shouted at him for hurting me as he made me cry! My oldest is only 10 himself, so had to tell him he shouldn't shout at him as he dont understand that and it will just make him worse and that we have to explain claimy what he did wrong! I am going to rung the gp and specialist doctor the gp has asked us to see! As we need some sort of help! As I know my youngest brother and sister on his dad side both have adhd and autism and are on meds for their adhd! So worried that my son will end up like that! So what to do things now to also try and help him! And find ways me and the older kids can help him! And help us understand what it is like for him! X but thank you both so much xx 
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