PIP, DLA and AA
If this is your first visit, check out the community guide. You will have to Join us or Sign in before you can post.
Receiving too many notifications? Adjust your notification settings.

DWP evidence

griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
My daughter applied for PIP January 2020, had assessemnt in Feb 2020 - zero points.  MR in May 2020 - 6 points.

Appeal submitted and had a letter saying DWP had to respond by 16th June 2020 and send us a copy of their evidence.

We haven't received anything to date - is this normal.  Also what will be their evidence.  Will it be a copy of original assessment - we have a copy of this, will there be anything else ?  What happens if they don't send us a copy of their response appeal?

Thank you.

Replies

  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 5,338 Disability Gamechanger
    Yes, absolutely normal. More so during lockdown but not much. They occasionally screw up and don’t send a response but much more likely is the scenario where they send it in but HMCTS fail to link it to your file. It’s rare though so don’t worry about it.

    DWP don’t produce evidence as such. They have responsibility to produce an appeal bundle. It will have all relevant documents so far from your claim pack through to the MR outcome. 
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    Thanks.  When you say the appeal bundle will have all relevant documents will there be things there we haven't seen or is just copies of their original assessment and then decision letters?  
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 5,338 Disability Gamechanger
    The only thing you won’t have seen is their “response” i.e. their argument as to why you don’t get an award. It’s mostly from a number if templates and with one or two exceptions it can largely be ignored. 
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    Had a letter from the court today with a copy of my letter which I send in to support my daughter's appeal.  Still nothing of DWP response.
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 5,338 Disability Gamechanger
    If the MR was May you’ll do well to see a bundle before August. Use the time well and look at the weaknesses of your case rather than waiting for DWP. Time also to get yourself representation.  
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    @mikehughescq where would I get representation from?  Tried Citizen advice before applying but only answer phone to leave name and number etc and after two attempts no response .  OCD is so difficult for people to understand what it's really like to live with .  First time safe saw GP about he said 'oh everyone is a bit ocd' and recanted tales of people needing order in things like books , cds etc.  When I've mentioned to work colleagues about her difficulties they don't understand how controlling and distressing it is too.  Yet she has been so bad her first consultant psychiatrist suggested anti psychotic medications as he said her thoughts were delusional!  She refused them.  He retired so next appointment she saw different consultant who was much more understanding, extremely surprised she'd been offered anti psychotic medications and said her current meds and therapy were the way forward but since she stopped seeing her nhs therapist as my daughter felt she couldn't relate to her as she didn't understand OCD and would tell her to wash her hands if they were dirty- her hands are not dirty it's an intrusive thought which occurs constantly and expands the dirty area so my daughter could be washing her 'hands' up to her armpits for 20 minutes constantly because she had an intrusive thought, it's not helpful to say wash them .  The correct response is to sit with the uncertainty of knowing if they are dirty.  When I say dirty she will think if she's touched her bum through smoothing down clothing like a dress that feaces have cone through her underwear and skirt to make her hands dirty.  The fact she hadn't soiled herself doesn't matter as her OCD thought is 'but what if'. 
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 5,338 Disability Gamechanger
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    Thanks I looked and it's only Citizens advice !  
  • OverlyAnxiousOverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,149 Disability Gamechanger
    edited June 2020
    griff11 said:
    Thanks I looked and it's only Citizens advice !  
    Tbh, from what I've seen on here, you've got a better understanding of the effects of OCD than any advice centre (or indeed any medical 'professional'!) I've tried myself so far...  

    They may understand the legalities better, but that aside, I'd rather have you as a rep!  Will you be with your daughter when she has the tribunal?


    On topic, DWP were about 3 weeks late responding to my appeal, seems to be common and there's no repercussions from them not meeting the deadline...they're just 'asked again' to send it, seems a little pointless giving them a deadline lol.
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    @OverlyAnxious thank you for bits of confidence! Living with it and trying to help her we've all researched and explored .  A month ago she's overhauled her diet - she's been vegan a number of years but she's trying to be healthier and has added in some vitamins D3 1000 iu and megadophilus probiotics !and drinking more fluids like flavoured teas- ages never drink much as what she needs toilet during day.  She thinks the combination is helping and today for the first time in months we went for a walk and she wasn't constantly anxious checking where she was walking!  Normally she is so overcome she turns around and comes home !  We were both so happy at her achievement today.   She is still showering if she uses toilet, still seeking reassurance but a good exposure like today is amazing when you can visibly see she's less anxious.  We've accepted there is no cure it's just management.  

    I will be right her at tribunal and I will prepare notes, billet points etc and know to keep drawing focus back to meeting criteria and the importance of reliability /timing etc of tasks.  
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 5,338 Disability Gamechanger
    griff11 said:
    Thanks I looked and it's only Citizens advice !  
    Tbh, from what I've seen on here, you've got a better understanding of the effects of OCD than any advice centre (or indeed any medical 'professional'!) I've tried myself so far...  

    They may understand the legalities better, but that aside, I'd rather have you as a rep! 
    Well that’s a perspective I suppose. If only PIP was not about the “legalities”. 
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    Apologies for spelling mistakes.!  Eyesight not so good when responding on phone!!

  • OverlyAnxiousOverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,149 Disability Gamechanger
    griff11 said:
    Thanks I looked and it's only Citizens advice !  
    Tbh, from what I've seen on here, you've got a better understanding of the effects of OCD than any advice centre (or indeed any medical 'professional'!) I've tried myself so far...  

    They may understand the legalities better, but that aside, I'd rather have you as a rep! 
    Well that’s a perspective I suppose. If only PIP was not about the “legalities”. 
    I think you know what I meant...  ;) 

    It's all well and good learning legal info from a book, but that's hardly useful if you don't understand the impact that a particular condition has on the persons life, especially when it's a mental condition and not easily explained.  The disability service near me couldn't even understand why someone with agoraphobia and contamination OCD would be unable to visit their premises or have a home visit to complete forms...  I dread to think what they'd have been like if they had offered to help with the tribunal...which they flat out refused because they hadn't filled in the forms originally (because they wouldn't offer any advice over the internet so i had no choice but to do them myself).  CAB were even less helpful but it's not really their area of expertise.  If it wasn't for this forum, I wouldn't have had a clue about the process or been able to get any advice about illness benefits...purely because of my illnesses!  :/

    I'd like to the think the tribunal judges know enough of the legalities to listen to a genuine 'civilian' account and then decide whether they qualify or not, instead of having to try and jump through legal hoops.  I'm sure that's not always the case though.
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 5,338 Disability Gamechanger
    I do, and of course my post was slightly tongue in cheek. 

    That said, there are two aspects to understanding the impacts. One is that a person has to articulate it. The other is that people need to hear others articulate it because that's how they gain the experience. 

    Few people are great at articulating the consequences of their condition(s) and that applies to all conditions not just mental ill health. So, those of us who rep and who don't have experience of those conditions are reliant upon the few people who can articulate it. If you don't come across someone who can do that then you often won't "get it" completely. However, in this day and age there's more than enough info out there to be able to deduce the basics sufficiently to be able to ask questions which bring out the rest and the ability to do that best often does reside with those same people who are so easily dismissed because their starting point is the law. We have the research skills and the lateral thinking. 

    Can't say I'm personally a fan of any organisation which declines to rep because someone else did the form. WRAs have no monopoly on great or bad forms and a bad form is usually very fixable depending on the time available. 

    Your description of your local service certainly resonates @OverlyAnxious. It happens far too often. However, it's not cos the agencies expertise is in the law. It's usually because their focus is on form filling rather than the law. The legal research skills usually bring lateral thinking and better questioning into play. 

    Sorry, if that all sounds a bit abstract. 

  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    Received a text today to say DWP have responded and we should receive a copy.  Date of tribunal not yet set but could be months . 
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    So DWP response arrived today.  Quite short and they have referred to criteria in physical ability and then repeated that are has a good understanding of her condition, only been sick one day (at time of assessment which was first month of her new job) and then they said that her OCD rituals are only on some days and don't impact her ability to carry out tasks on majority of days !   Unfortunately there seemed it be no understanding of what the impact of OCD is in a person.  

    I thought their justification poorly argued , very focused on physical ability to do a task and each criteria they once again relied on the fact she understands her condition , is articulate and works.   I reread her appeal submission which referred to examples in original application and expanded upon and the very clear & detailed DSA report from when at Uni that set out how serious OCD is, how it impacts daily life and the support required to enable her to remain in uni.  and feel both parts clearly demonstrate how badly her life is impacted but I release she is up against criteria that focuses on being unable to perform tasks due to either a physical or learning disability.

    OCD is a term that's thrown around.   As my daughter says OCD is not an adjective. A person cannot "be a bit OCD" - a person can have obsessive compulsive disorder. OCD is not the same as perfectionism, or being organised/neat.  

    The difference between OCD and perfectionism is the anxiety which OCD causes. If a person were to wash their hands or reorganise due to their OCD - this would be an extremely stressful process for them. They do not enjoy doing it - which often leads to avoidance of the issue at hand.  

    At the tribunal is my daughter or myself allowed to ask if they understand what OCD or what their understanding is? 

    I feel it's an up hill battle unless  the tribunal fully read my daughters evidence and do a bit of research into chronic OCD.  I know the DWP are not  awarding based on diagnosis but impact of condition but if you don't understand what the condition is how can you understand if the person is being truthful in their assertions of the impact of their condition.  
     
    Apologies for any typos but on my phone !
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 5,338 Disability Gamechanger
    As previously posted you can largely ignore their submission. It is template based and few tribunals will even mention the nonsense within. 

    Any explanation of OCD should have ideally been in the extra information section of the claim pack. At this point you should write a submission setting out your arguments for an award and if the claim pack doesn’t cover an explanation then put it in your sub. 

    It’s absolutely not a thing to bring up on the day when you have weeks to submit something in advance but also tribunals have limited time and will focus on daily living and mobility needs not the condition itself. 
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    Ok I did include an explanation of what ocd is in original appeal.  I also included the link to explanation in the  submission.   Her appeal letter sets out why she meets  criteria- we did bullet point for each relevant criteria.   We gave examples on each point.  This has been done in original application but appeal refers to original form and why their conclusions was wrong - even though virtually every point used same sentence about working , understanding of condition, articulate  and looking only mildly anxious at assessment.  
    Appeal also highlighted she was accompanied by myself and partner.  She had left work early to come home to shower and had soaking wet hair at assessment and gave timing i.e finished work 2 hours begins assessment, only 30 min max travelling time .  Remainder spent in shower, panic attack etc so no time to dry hair.   Also mentioned assessor cut her off when she asked about bathing routine so daughter couldn't explain his difficult she finds showering !  

    The only new point DWP made  was she says she needs reminding to take medications but said at assessment she takes contraceptive pill back to back !  She says why she dies that at assessment.  She can't deal with periods  (mood and physical side) if she drops a pill  she can't pick up so just carries on so days messed up.  It's hard to explain but if she drops a tablet her ocd tells her she's made a mistake and the what ifs begin and she gets distressed and then will avoid doing that task the next day.  Hence she takes all her tablets and vitamins once a day.  We have to leave them out so someone reminds her as an alarm on her mobile isn't always effective if her anxiety level high or if it's a day she's refusing to touch her phone as it's dirty, she's dirty and she can't clean it so it's by her bed all day!  

    Anymore tips appreciated as I will be accompanying her.  She'd like her partner there as well but if only one it's me as I'm more articulate about her condition and used to attending meetings after almost 40 years in local govt.  Her partners better at dealing with her panic attacks though as I find them difficult as it's so difficult seeing your child so distressed over what is essentially a thought that most people would ignore .  

    My letter supporting her appeal is written as a mother so does reference how difficult it is dealing with her condition and impact on family.  About us not feeding her ocd.  So it sets out condition, history and a typical day with all the stresses involved and even tackles the question of why do we sometimes give in to her demands when it's the worst thing possible to do.  When I read what wrote that's the question that jumped out at me but I've talked with one of her therapists about what we should do if it's so bad that if we refuse to help she will get seriously unwell.    So we have strategies we agree upon.  Things like you can only ask one person for reassurance, if the second person you ask knows you've asked another you can refuse to answer.  If she asks same question multiple times just say. I've given you my answer. Leads to lots of tears and shouting by her and very stressful for us but unless we fear she's on verge of a full breakdown we have to stick to it. 
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    @mikehughescq my daughter just send me a brilliant letter which she's tempted to post on line about OCD, stigma etc . 

    I've told her to hold fire.  Am I too late to send as additional evidence to tribunal ?
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 5,338 Disability Gamechanger
    Okay, you have plenty of time to send further evidence in. Time only becomes tight when you have an actual date for a hearing. 

    However, I think you should pause at this point and ask yourself what this evidence is and what is the specific gap it’s filling. 

    It might well be a brilliant letter but it appears to again be about explaining OCD. You’ve said above that you did put a full explanation into the claim pack. If this letter is another explanation then by definition, either there was something missing from the claim pack, or, in fact your claim pack explanation of the condition was fine and this is simply a duplication of evidence they already have. 

    If you realise that your explanation lacked something then by all means throw the letter into the mix. However, if in fact it’s just a duplication or doesn’t really say anything new then it may be better to leave it out. 

    Although you say you’re prepared to keep your daughter on point re the PIP criteria what I’m reading here is potentially an example of where some appeals go wrong and perhaps especially so with OCD. People with health conditions often view themselves exceptionally. I don’t mean this disrespectfully as this applies to a wide range of health issues but it can lead claimants down the rabbit hole of “my condition is unusual. If I can just persuade them of my exceptionalism then I will win”. 

    The idea that more and more information about the condition will overwhelm the person making the decision to the extent there can only be one outcome. We often read here of people who have submitted literally hundreds of pages of evidence. They cannot believe it when they don’t win and indeed can be quite bitter and upset about the outcome and the system etc. At this point I think you may be in danger of heading down that rabbit hole. You’re not there yet by a long way but as you get closer to the appeal I suspect both you and your daughter will, absolutely understandably, become more anxious and that may manifest itself in a desire to produce more and more about OCD when actually less is more and the simpler you keep this the better. Indeed your daughter may take great offence if you don’t submit everything she produces as evidence and that in itself can become an issue.

    PIP appeals  will not hear anything about the condition unless they think there’s a gap but it’s easy to underestimate the knowledge of a tribunal. All they need is to work their way through the relevant activities you’ve identified as points scoring and hear some anecdotes about your daughter struggling to do them reliably. Even with what to you is an incredibly distressing and complex condition the appeal itself is going to boil down to ... can you tell credible real world stories on a per descriptor basis which at minimum don’t contradict the medical evidence. All PIP appeals boil down to that same thing in the end.
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    Thanks @mikehughescq. This evening we revisited the bundle from DWP and original form, decision letter, MR appeal letter, evidence etc.  and I think we've decided it covers it all.  My daughter gets upset when she reads their dismissive comments but I did point out to her they haven't argued their case well just repeated their line if you are educated, articulate and look normal and we have addressed that.   We've been honest and can answer questions .  I've put the paperwork in a file and tabs for different parts so we can easily see what was said if she'a questioned on specifics and to see if something taken out of context.  Now we wait !  

    I suggested she posts as open letter with some more personal parts removed to her blog as her previous muttering referring to her MH have been well received .  
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 5,338 Disability Gamechanger
    Good man.

    Always good to remember that their argument is basically a bunch of paragraphs cobbled together from a template. Most tribunals won’t even mention it as it’s a waste of space and time. 
  • OverlyAnxiousOverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,149 Disability Gamechanger
    griff11 said:
    I suggested she posts as open letter with some more personal parts removed to her blog as her previous muttering referring to her MH have been well received .  
    Does she use OCDAction or OCDUK forums?  They might be interested in posting it and linking across social platforms themselves to promote awareness further than a personal blog.  :)
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    @OverlyAnxious no she has a freestanding blog but previously one OCD forum contacted her to use her content as they liked the way she explained OCD .  
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    So phonecall today from DWP reviewing before Appeal.  The asked a few questions and changed award to enhanced for daily living and mobility.   I had no warning of the call but could answer the questions easily as her application form & appeal contained facts on everyday life.   My daughter most happy that they believe she's ill as she found their earlier dismissals of her condition extremely upsetting.  They are not sure how long award for - she thinks 2 years.
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 5,338 Disability Gamechanger
    And here we go again. Another fine example of the con of DWP offers. The offer was made because you would have likely got a longer award at tribunal. 

    I’m going to take a wild guess and suggest that in making their offer DWP completely forgot to tell you that you could accept the offer; wait until the money is in payment and then resurrect your appeal but on grounds of the length only? 
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    I did know I could refuse offer as I had similar call for my hubby's PIP a few years ago but his award was for  5 years and she asked that time if he wished to end appeal .  

    This time she was silent on length so I asked her how long it was for ans she said she wasn't sure she would need to check but thought 2 years .  I didn't think 2 years unreasonable as I'm ever the optimist that my daughters OCD will improve as thought of her spending her whole life so badly affected is awful.    Until COVID she was seeing a counsellor weekly and as soon as she can will restart .  He does help her and she finds him supportive of her baby steps .    She tried zoom etc but it didn't work as she disengages but when in room with counsellor is more responsive.    What I did think was odd she didn't ask to speak to my daughter - she's an adult and she didn't ask if we accepted just said she'd send letter.  I thought strange as same as my husband I'm her representative but with him they had to speak to him to go through security. 

    Do you think she could reasonably expect a longer period award ?

     .  
  • OverlyAnxiousOverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,149 Disability Gamechanger
    That's great news!  Though I must admit, 2 years doesn't sound very long considering when she applied.  It'll end in Jan 2022, and from what I've read, review forms will be sent out about 3 months before that.  So you're really only looking at 12 months from now until having to go through the hassle again.

    Of course, if she's expected to improve by then, that might be reason for a shorter length.

    My award was for 3 years.  I'm not sure what does determine it as I was only expecting 2 myself.
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 5,338 Disability Gamechanger
    Your opinion on when the OCD might improve is not the key one here. The correct legal question is whether there is any evidence of treatment, surgery or cure. In the absence of those it’s hard to see why any award would fall below 5 years and in reality 10.

    Your options are to accept the offer; refuse the offer or accept but then appeal anyway solely on award length. 
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    @mikehughescq ok so should I ring to clarify period or wait till letter?  If wait till letter do I then write back to refuse off due to length?  Thanks for advice because thinking logically they are back dating to Nov 19 so going forward it's only for 14 months and nothing will change that quick.
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Member Posts: 22,218 Disability Gamechanger
    You could wait for the letter rather than ring them because it may take a while to get through. You don't write to DWP to refuse the award because you've already accepted it. You request the Tribunal in exactly the same way you did the first time but the waiting time starts from the begining again. You need to make it clear that it's the length of time you're appealing.
    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • jaknitjaknit Member Posts: 27 Connected
    I had to nudge DWP twice to get my copy of bundle. dwp had gone back to ATOSand had a new 1 page report from a different assessor to try to bolster their evidence, there justifications were more detailed than previously. I notified the tribunal that 2 months after due date I had not received bundle. 1 pester DWP for bundle, 2 make tribunal aware you haven't recieved bundle yet it helps if you need to submit late evidence due to something in bundle. Take heart, i went from zero points with ATOS and DWP to tribunal award of 26 points.
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Member Posts: 22,218 Disability Gamechanger
    jaknit said:
    I had to nudge DWP twice to get my copy of bundle. dwp had gone back to ATOSand had a new 1 page report from a different assessor to try to bolster their evidence, there justifications were more detailed than previously. I notified the tribunal that 2 months after due date I had not received bundle. 1 pester DWP for bundle, 2 make tribunal aware you haven't recieved bundle yet it helps if you need to submit late evidence due to something in bundle. Take heart, i went from zero points with ATOS and DWP to tribunal award of 26 points.

    Hi,

    I'm assuming by this advice that you didn't read the whole thread. There's been an award by DWP before the hearing has taken place of Enhanced for both parts.
    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    You could wait for the letter rather than ring them because it may take a while to get through. You don't write to DWP to refuse the award because you've already accepted it. You request the Tribunal in exactly the same way you did the first time but the waiting time starts from the begining again. You need to make it clear that it's the length of time you're appealing.
    So I rang!  Got through reasonably quickly but didn't have very helpful person.  First he said he couldn't speak to me as I'd been removed as nominee!! When I queried why as they rang me yesterday, not my daughter then, he asked why couldn't he speak to my daughter, was she not capable of handling her own financial affairs etc.  I just repeated I was spoken to yearday so he went through to appeals.  He came back saying the reason she hasn't had money yet was because it needed approval.  I hadn't asked about money, I asked for period of award.  I again asked how long the award was for and he said payment to Feb 2022.  That seems an odd period if she started claim in Nov 2019.  That's all he would tell me so I guess wait for letter then appeal duration.

    Any reason why I'm suddenly not nominee.  Was I only nominee for duration of appeal?
  • jaknitjaknit Member Posts: 27 Connected
    i do have sight impairment i stoppedusing facebook because ot long threads looks like problem here as well sorry if i caused you distress
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    jaknit said:
    i do have sight impairment i stoppedusing facebook because ot long threads looks like problem here as well sorry if i caused you distress
    @jaknit it's not a problem and caused no distress at all.  We've all done at some time.  
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    Letter arrived today and award for Nov 19 to Feb 22.  It says they have changed original decision and appeal will not continue .  Then letter says you can appeal and I have 1 month to do so and I must send a copy of this letter with it.   It says to download forms so I'm assuming I cannot appeal online and upload information like last time?

    Also my daughter is hoping for move in with her partner in next few months , this is clearly a change of circumstances if which she would notify of change of address .  Question is will this complicate appeal ? Last time she left home was to go travelling for 3 months with a friend - disaster and due to time difference she rang me most nights at 3am here crying and so bad I begged her to get flight home big dream couldn't fly alone.  Prior to this it was moving away to uni which is when she really went down hill.  She's older now and her partner is amazing but I know there will be issues and panicked calls to help her.  Sorry rambling as I get anxious when I anticipate the impact the change will have on her .  Short question is how will moving out - hopefully Nov impact any appeal and is it mentioned.  So I simply say appealing duration and do I give reasons for duration only or re submit all previous evidence to show how's she's been impacted since age 18 (now 25)?  Sorry for all questions .  
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    Oh forgot to say letter said paid today but no money in bank 
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,662 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @griff11, have you received the money this morning?
    Community Partner
    Scope

    Tell us what you think?
    Complete our feedback form to help us to improve your community.
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    Hi @griff11, have you received the money this morning?
    Yes it came through late on Saturday!  Seemed a funny time to me but my daughter has an online bank, not one of the High Street banks so maybe there are extra checks because of that.  I was 99.9% positive we had given the correct bank details as I used to work in finance so double check.  Then I thought they had missed key a digit but now banks tie up names with account numbers that should have been picked up as daughter has 2 middle names so the 4 name combo would mean more chance of wining lottery.
  • freeworldfreeworld Member Posts: 16 Listener
    I love the way many forums have grave concerns of conditions that are being ignored by HCP and DWP. Eg 'can't bare to go out of the house and had a breakdown and turned back around' ...... All of a sudden the claim has been approved then there's moves in with boyfriends swanning off on trips for three months. 

    Sorry but in some I just feel there is blatant exaggeration, pre approval, which is patently obvious by post claim approval comments. 

    Funny old world......
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,727 Disability Gamechanger
    @freeworld I think we have to heed caution here and remember that forums represent a mere snapshot of someone's life, with words on a screen that can easily be misconstrued.  It can be easy to jump to an inaccurate conclusion without knowing an other's reality so it's always best to be kind.  
    Online Community Co-ordinator

    Want to tell us about your experience on the community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know. 
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    freeworld said:
    I love the way many forums have grave concerns of conditions that are being ignored by HCP and DWP. Eg 'can't bare to go out of the house and had a breakdown and turned back around' ...... All of a sudden the claim has been approved then there's moves in with boyfriends swanning off on trips for three months. 

    Sorry but in some I just feel there is blatant exaggeration, pre approval, which is patently obvious by post claim approval comments. 

    Funny old world......
    So we are 6 months on.  My daughter has not moved out yet.  Her partner moved in with us instead.     This pandemic has been so hard on her.  One of her main issues is contamination, her germs being spread to other people but with the constant adverts of wash hands, wear a mask etc she's barely left the house.  She's spent years working on not over washing hands but now government telling everyone to wash constantly.   2 weeks ago on a good day she booked a slot to shop in person at M&S.  She hasn't been shopping in a store since lockdown.   The appointment was for 2 days later and she asked me to drive her as too nervous.  Then we parked and she said she couldn't go in alone.  The store has 1 person: 1 trolley rule if possible but I said I would ask if I could accompany her which was allowed.  

    Somethings other things have got worse.  Use of toilet.  Even at home she won't go from 7.30am before she showers till 9pm when she goes to bed.  If she does desperately have to go before then she'll shower, wash her hair etc.  She'll only sit on one chair with a blanket on and no one must touch it.   She goes weeks on end not able to leave house.  

    Still no counselling yet due to lockdown.  She joined gym but only made 2 visits during lockdowns but 2 was a positive. 

    Re travelling.  She went away for 3 months in 2016 after uni.   Long before she ever claimed PIP and as I said a disaster.  

    She's had her work contract  extended 12 months - working from home full time.  Her employer aware of her condition and understanding/supportive so when she says she's having/had panic attack and needs to nap (panic attacks exhaust her ) the let her work flexibly to cover her hours/work.  

    Her aim is still to move out and live with her partner but she'll still need support which isn't just practical like cleaning, laundry, shopping, cooking etc.  But being there when she's panicking, stressed angry because she can't do these things herself.  

    .  She had hoped 2020 would be a good year.  It started with residential visit to OCD centre which cost me £3k,  This was to be followed up with regular counselling sessions to continue working on her OCD. Then lockdown happened and online counselling didn't workout.  

    These lockdowns are so hard for everyone but for someone with OCD the constant media focus on germ transmission is horrendous.


  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,032 Pioneering
    @griff11 sorry that your daughter is haveing a terrible time  and it is hard  I am not as bad as your daughter but I have had corona virus more than once and now I don't go out as much I sit on my bench out the front of my house or walk down the lane 

    I do all my shopping on line now since I have been able to do shopping on my amazon app at morrisons 

    I hope your daughter gets the help she needs soon  and ignore comments that can be upsetting  such as the one you added in your comment  

    Take care 🙂
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    @lisathomas50.  Glad you've recovered from COVID.  Scary time.  My hubby although under 60 has had his first jab as he was on shielding list.  My daughter and myself  group 6 due to underlying health conditions so a while for us.  

    I think everyone struggling with on going lockdown and people have forgotten to be kind.  You only have to look on Facebook to the reactions to those who are anti jab/lockdown etc.  I try to be think kind thoughts of the nasty keyboard warriors that they are stressed, scared, brain washed by media etc. as while we might  of like someone's opinion, it is their opinion and they are entitled to it.  We've list so many freedoms lately let's not lose free speech.  

    Interestingly my daughter and I watch 600lb life and she's like "why are they eating so much" - one was over 1000lb and I said "isn't it like your OCD ?  A compulsion that over rides a normal relationship to food ".   So even she as a MH sufferer initially judged another.   We watch that programme now with sympathy rather than a judgemental attitude.  

    Keep up your short walks , fresh air is good for you.  We do so much online shopping in this house I'm on first name terms with many delivery drivers !  Last summer I put a box on my drive so they could get a cold drink as they were working flat out.  Sainsbury's man said I was only person who had ever offered him a drink !  

    Stay safe and well xx
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,032 Pioneering
    @griff11 you have a lovely outlook on life  even in these terrible times  I hope you get the help you need you sound like a lovely kind person and that's all people need sometimes is kindness 😊

    Hope to speak again 
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    @griff11 you have a lovely outlook on life  even in these terrible times  I hope you get the help you need you sound like a lovely kind person and that's all people need sometimes is kindness 😊

    Hope to speak again 
    Thank you but I don't think my daughter best pleased with me this week.  The last week been really awful.  By Wednesday she was struggling to focus on her work and Thursday morning she just couldn't physically get out of bed.  She'd been awake all night worrying over the previous day stresses and I wasn't the most helpful as I too was exhausted by her behaviour and demands the previous few days .  I told her how her OCD was affecting me and it was relentless etc which I know sounds selfish but she needs to know it doesn't just affect her.  She took a day off work and meditated and focused on calming herself but it's bubbling away and I didn't talk to her about it as we both end up angry & stressed at times like this.  .  I've told her she's got to find some help despite this lockdown as no end in sight .  Group chats a big no as she's terrified to hear someone else's OCD in case she add their issue to her own. 
  • freeworldfreeworld Member Posts: 16 Listener
    I appreciate your feedback. I think some people just contradict themselves because they speak too much when it is not needed.

    It was just an observation of mine that I pointed out.  There wasn't any intentions behind the content, a mere observation.

    Peace


  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,032 Pioneering
    @griff11 maybe  scope can help you with some advice  there is a phone number at the bottom of this page or you can email them 

    There is only so much you can say on here but uou would be able to explain more to scope  OCD  is hard to cope with not only for the person who has it but also for the person who lives with them 

    I would try scope and see what they say 

  • OverlyAnxiousOverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,149 Disability Gamechanger
    griff11 said:
    I've told her she's got to find some help despite this lockdown as no end in sight .  Group chats a big no as she's terrified to hear someone else's OCD in case she add their issue to her own. 
    Have you tried the OCDUK support line?  Can either phone or email them and they may be able to offer something one to one via webchat or phone?  You can do it for her if that's easier.

    I'm still doing the group chats myself with mixed results. Must admit it hasn't really helped me in real life at all, but it has given me a better understanding and even realised how many things I thought were 'just me' other people with OCD also do.
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    Thank you both.  She reached out to OCD uk before but didn't get a response for 3 weeks.  Demand is obviously very high.    I'll make contact again as something has to be done.  
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,032 Pioneering
    @griff11 if you lived in wales I could tell you several places  but they only cover wales 

    Maybe try the mind help line I know here they give good advice of who to contact 🤔 the pandemic doesn't help  either 
  • griff11griff11 Member Posts: 62 Courageous
    We are in S Wales.  My daughter volunteered with mind a few years ago while doing Post Grad in Counselling.  The only OCD they did was an hour one afternoon which was group and she was in work or 10 miles away and again group .  From age 19- to date we've paid privately for 1:1 but the counsellor who she's made the most progress - who isn't an OCD specialist stopped practicing during lockdown .  She went on residential specialised course Jan 2020 followed up with home visit and online but once she's not in room with them she can't engage .  I'm hoping her other therapist starts up again as he helped the most, teaching her to meditate and self hypnotise to deal with severe panic attacks .  
    If you know of other groups though would love to hear . 
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,032 Pioneering
    If your in South Wales then  you can use the call number if  you Google call  the number will come up you can contact hoyle thry are good with problems like your daughters 

    I will have a look for you and get back to you  if thsts ok those are the ones I can think if straight away as that's the ones I advise people to try first 
Sign in or join us to comment.